Time to Decide
by mama rocks
Summary: Jack has returned after leaving to find the Doctor. He and Ianto are back together but Jack wants a real relationship and Ianto is not convinced. Can they move forward? Rated for scenes of a sexual nature.
1. Chapter 1

**Warning:** This fan fic is about Jack and Ianto's relationship and will contain m/m sex scenes in most chapters. If you don't like this, be sensible and don't read it!

**Disclaimer: **If I owned it I would not have destroyed it in a fit of pique.

"ARE YOU ASKING ME OUT ON A DATE?"

The team came crashing back into the hub laughing insanely and desperately trying to avoid touching Owen.

'It's just not fair...why did it pick me to explode on?' whined Owen looking forlornly down at himself.

He was covered in all manner of alien goo most of it green and snot looking and it smelt particularly unpleasant.

'I'm not sure it actually _chose _to explode at all Owen' sympathised Toshiko with a barely repressed grin.

'The fact that it did so on you, is just a bonus' announced Ianto seriously.

'I stink' moaned Owen.

Ianto at last took pity on the medic and shooed the other team members away as he consoled his friend.

'Hit the showers Owen...I'll make a nice strong coffee for when you get out' soothed Ianto looking sternly at the others who were still chuckling.

Owen slumped off to get cleaned up and Ianto headed to the kitchen to rifle up some cookies for him. He rarely got treats for the moody medic but there were times when even he could elicit some sympathy.

Toshiko headed to her workstation to begin calculations on the rift coordinates they had been investigating and Gwen accompanied Jack to his office. Ianto frowned, there was no reason for Gwen to follow Jack and it annoyed him. He took a deep breath and told himself it did not bother him and he was most certainly _not_ feeling jealous.

Jack paused at the door to his office.

'Did you need something Gwen?' he asked.

Gwen stopped. She had no reason to follow Jack she just wanted to remain in his company for a while but his air suggested this was not a good idea. He had seemed to need more time alone since he returned from wherever it was he had been.

'No' she said carefully 'just wondered if I should write the report or if you wanted the privilege' she smiled.

He smiled back.

'Oh you do it...have fun!' and he closed the door.

Ianto refused to acknowledge or think in any way about the small thrill of elation he had felt as Jack closed his door on Gwen.

Ianto was having difficulty with Jack's return. He had been deeply hurt when Jack had left without telling them, he should have had more respect for their friendship. That was all they were at the time, friends and part time lovers. Ianto had been broken by his failure to save Lisa and Jack had comforted him. When they had learnt to trust each other it had become physical. Ianto had never had sex with a man before but it didn't seem to matter, he trusted and respected Jack. That trust had been broken when Jack left.

Now he was back and Jack seemed to want more from their relationship. Ianto wasn't sure. They had been on several dates which alone had been strange. Ianto found it odd to be on a date with a man. He could justify sex. Sex was just an animal itch that had to be scratched and Jack fulfilled a need. But dating was on a different level.

Ianto recognised that he cared for Jack. He had never been good at separating sex from emotions and he could not help but care for someone with whom he was frequently intimate in such a way. But it still felt strange to go on a date with him. It was ok whilst they were just having dinner, but when Jack wanted to hold hands or whisper seductively in his ear Ianto began to feel distinctly uncomfortable. He became even more uncomfortable when he realised just how much he was enjoying the attention.

He really needed to stop thinking about Jack in terms of someone he dates, oh God in terms of being his boyfriend. Ianto refused to think about it anymore, and he definitely was _not_ jealous of Gwen spending time with Jack. Oh God my life is beyond weird he thought morosely.

Ianto took coffees to the girls and a strong black and very hot one down to Owen as he emerged from the showers and headed for the med lab.

'Thanks Ianto'

Owen spoke begrudgingly but Ianto was the only one to show him any sympathy so he refrained from using his usual derogatory term of teaboy.

'What did you do with your clothes Owen?' asked Ianto.

'Threw them away. It was only a pair of jeans and a tee shirt. Except my jacket, I don't know what to do about that, it's my favourite so I'm not throwing it unless it can't be saved' Owen replied sadly indicating a carrier bag with the garment inside.

'Leave it to me Owen. I'll get it cleaned for you, I know a discreet place' he winked at the doctor.

'Cheers mum' beamed Owen not liking to ask if Ianto really knew a dry cleaners or if he had some sort of alien cleaning device secreted somewhere.

Ianto happily removed Owen's jacket. He enjoyed taking care of the team, making their lives run more smoothly, he liked to look after people, but he frowned at Owen's choice of pronoun.

Owen had only recently joked with the others about Ianto and Jack being the parents of the group. Jack being the dad who they went to with their problems and Ianto being the mum they went to for comfort and food. Jack had laughed but Ianto had been annoyed and saddened in equal measure.

Ianto sighed, he and Lisa had discussed children at length. If Ianto accepted that what he had with Jack was actually a relationship, he would also have to accept that he would never become a parent.

Ianto was not sure Jack was worth that sacrifice.

LATER

'Ianto I need the file on the Ogons can you fetch it from the archives?' shouted Owen from his lab.

'Yup' answered Ianto immediately closing the file he was working on and going to complete this new task. He had barely reached the archives before Owen was badgering him to hurry, and Ianto had already told him twice that he was going as quickly as possible.

'Ianto have you found that info yet?' demanded Owen.

'Once again may I remind you that when I discover the information you have requested I will immediately inform you via the com link' replied the exasperated Welshman.

Ianto was glad there were no CCTV cameras in the archives so that Owen could not see how frustrated he was becoming. He could control his voice when speaking to him, but only because he could vent his frustration by making obscene gestures.

Unbeknown to Ianto Jack had followed his lover to the archives. He had watched Ianto when they returned from the mission and how he had looked after the other team members, especially Owen. He had listened to the medic demand the information over the coms and was annoyed. He hastened to Ianto to console him.

He had stopped and laughed silently in disbelief at the obscene gestures Ianto had made belying his calm voice as he answered Owen yet again. Jack decided his lover needed a reward for keeping his temper.

Ianto had just put his hand upon the searched for file and was about to inform Owen with a crow of triumph when he was startled by the sudden appearance of Jack.

Jack swept over to him and put his hand over Ianto's mouth, indicating that he should be quiet and pointing to the coms. Ianto was compliant as always to his captain's commands and became silent. He wound one of his hands up to his com to disengage it. Jack stopped him and looked at him with a wicked grin on his face and an enquiring look. Ianto rolled his eyes, he knew Jack wanted to do whatever he had planned, whilst the possibility of the others hearing remained open. Ianto would never let him do anything sexual in public, or whenever the others were in viewing distance, he supposed he could give the older man this. He grinned back at him and took his hand away from his com.

Jack smiled and leaned in to kiss Ianto violently leaving the younger man breathless with need. Jack broke away and pressed his fingers to Ianto's lips again. He nibbled his way down Ianto's neck, then sank to his knees in front of his lover.

Ianto found it hard not to gasp as he realised what Jack intended to do. Jack quickly unbuttoned his trousers and released his already half hard cock. He stared at it for a long moment, letting his breath gently graze over the sensitive flesh. Ianto made a low noise at the back of his throat reminding Jack that his patience would not last forever. Jack smiled and took Ianto's cock into his hot wet mouth and began to suck greedily causing Ianto to hold his breath as he tried not to make any noise. Jack looked up into his lover's face to watch the effect his ministrations were having and smiled around the hard flesh at the ecstasy on the young Welshman's face.

Ianto began gasping, desperately trying not to make any noise. Jack smirked to himself at the effect he was having and increased the pleasure by gently tugging on the younger man's balls. Ianto clenched his hands into fists trying to keep his moans inside.

Jack lessened his efforts and began to tease by swirling his tongue around the head of Ianto's cock and only sucking softly on the tip. The younger man looked at him pleadingly with tears in his eyes. Jack relented and began to suck in earnest, his head bobbing up and down the length of the other man's cock.

He took Ianto's fisted hands and opened them, briefly entwining their fingers then placing them gently on the sides of his own head. He placed his hands on the wall behind the other man and leaned onto his arms to brace himself as he looked up at Ianto giving him permission. Ianto recognised the move and holding his lover softly by the neck he began to thrust. Ianto loved it when Jack let him do this. To be able to thrust fast and hard into Jack's wet mouth was the biggest sexual thrill Ianto had ever had. Jack submitted to being used. Ianto looked down at him gagging slightly and felt the familiar tightness coil into his belly. He thrust fast and hard into Jack's willing mouth becoming faster and more erratic as he felt his orgasm building and his cock slipping further down Jack's throat.

Ianto screamed 'fuuuck' as he came hard into Jack's mouth, still giving shallow thrusts as he rode out the pleasure.

'Ianto? you ok mate' asked Owen over the coms.

Ianto struggled to control his breathing and gasped.

'Yes Owen..just stubbed my toe... found that file... I'm bringing it up to you now'

He switched off his com and breathed heavily looking at Jack and laughing slightly. Jack stood and kissed him.

'Don't you just love it when it has to be quick and quiet' smiled Jack.

'Oh yes' laughed Ianto.

'Don't you just love me for teaching you?' Jack asked.

'Don't be daft Jack' smiled Ianto, but he leant in for another kiss before grabbing the file and heading back to Owen.

Jack looked after him disappointed. Ianto had evaded any admission of feelings since Jack had returned despite agreeing to date. Even when Jack directly asked for some affirmation he used humour or work to avoid talking about his emotions.

Jack wanted their relationship to move forward to a new level. He wasn't in love with the younger man, but he was ready to explore the possibility and Ianto clearly wasn't. Jack wanted to talk about the future but Ianto was still uncomfortable being seen in public with another man.

Jack had spent much of his year away thinking of Ianto and building castles in the air about their relationship and how it would be when he returned. It had helped him to cope with the pain and isolation. Jack had been truthful when he told the team he had come back for Ianto, but he had come back for the Ianto of his dream world. The real Ianto was different. It was wonderful being with the young man in the flesh, but the Ianto of his dreams fitted Jack better. He did not require teasing into a relationship and he showed his love for Jack unreservedly.

The real Ianto was not living up to Jack's expectations.

Jack thought back over his time with Ianto. He had found it surprisingly difficult to lure the younger man into his bed. He wasn't used to having to try so hard and it had definitely piqued his interest and made him redouble his efforts. Even once Ianto was in his bed he was resistant to full sex. They had only done it once, after Jack had returned from 1941. Jack had been distant and distraught that night and had turned to Ianto for comfort. Ianto knew what had happened from Toshiko and he felt the older man's pain at his inability to alter the inevitable.

Ianto was no stranger to pain and loss and comforted his captain in the only way he knew Jack would respond to. Jack knew Ianto was only offering it because he wanted to give comfort to his friend and lover. The fact that Ianto had been extremely vocal in his enjoyment did not alter that. Despite knowing his reasons and his reluctance, Jack had selfishly taken what the young man had offered and had left with the Doctor soon afterwards.

Jack thought about how they had each betrayed the other. Ianto had betrayed him with Lisa before they had become anything more than boss and employee. Jack had forgiven Ianto because he had seen the depth of love that had driven the young man to such desperate measures, and frankly he had been impressed that the unassuming Welshman had been so easily able to deceive an experienced and corrupt time travelling conman.

They had found their way back to trust and friendship and then Ianto had betrayed him again when he helped the others to open the rift. Again Jack had forgiven him. This betrayal had hurt more because they had seemingly become much closer, their relationship more intimate. Yet Ianto had still been able to walk away from him so easily.

Would Ianto forgive him for leaving with the Doctor?

_He should, I forgave him_! Thought Jack bitterly.

Ianto had allowed him back into his life and his bed but his heart was still closed. Jack always wanted something more from this young man and right now he wanted the devotion he had witnessed focussed on Lisa. He wanted someone to care for and someone to care back.

Jack sighed, he could hardly blame Ianto for being reluctant to trust his motives since his return. It would appear that coaxing him into a relationship was going to prove even harder than persuading him into bed.

Was the Ianto of his dreams embedded in the reality of the young man in the hub?

Jack wasn't sure what he wanted from Ianto, but he was sure it wasn't just sex anymore. Perhaps that was all Ianto really wanted. Jack gulped as he realised the pain that would cause him. He hadn't cared for anybody beyond friendship for a long time.

Maybe it would be better to stay as they were.


	2. Chapter 2

"I remember this one time..."

Jack was watching Ianto work at his station. The young man was probably just answering e-mails or something equally as uninspiring but Jack was still fascinated by his calm demeanour. He had an air of stillness that Jack found very restful to watch.

Ianto looked up as the others entered. Gwen, Owen and Toshiko were returning from a routine rift activity measuring mission. They had been on duty since 3-30 in the morning taking over from Jack and Ianto who had taken the earlier shift. Luckily the measurements indicated that no further calculations and vigils would be needed and the whole team were breathing a collective sigh of relief.

Ianto left his work station and briefly greeted his teammates before proceeding to the kitchen to make refreshing drinks for them. The other three quickly found their own work stations and began the day's activities, slightly subdued due to their early start.

Jack watched as Ianto provided Toshiko with her favourite chocolate drink and a double chocolate muffin. He must have purchased that on the way into work and Jack marvelled yet again at the young man's consideration for others. He was always thinking about the comfort of other people, always wanting to ease their pain.

Ianto was so unobtrusive. The team very often forgot about his contribution, how he kept the hub running so smoothly, soothed the passions which erupted so easily when five people worked in such close proximity on such stressful cases.

'_He demands so little, and I want to give him so much' _thought Jack to himself.

Jack still wasn't sure how Ianto felt about him. Oh he knew he lusted after him, but he wasn't sure how much deeper the young man's feelings went. Every time Jack tried to talk seriously to him the younger man reverted to seduction. Not that Jack minded being seduced by a handsome Welshman, but he wanted more and the longer Ianto denied him the more he wanted it.

Jack wanted Ianto's devotion. It wasn't something he was proud of but he wanted Ianto to love him more than Lisa. He wanted to take her place, be better than her, be more important in Ianto's life. He recognised how childish this need was, but nonetheless want it he did.

Jack left his office determined to stop brooding. He wandered over to Toshiko's workstation. She was sitting looking at the muffin Ianto had bought her with her drink.

'Tosh?' said Jack softly.

Toshiko looked up.

'You ok?' Jack asked her.

Toshiko nodded and indicated the cake on her desk.

'How does he know? How does he always bring our favourite things? I don't ever remember telling Ianto I liked these muffins, yet there it is, his way of telling me he cares' she whispered.

'We all care Tosh' said Jack.

Toshiko smiled sadly.

'But we none of us say it do we? None of us shows our feelings. We fight aliens and save the world but are terrified to say we care. Ianto doesn't say it with words but at least he has found a way to communicate what he means. He shows his care every day in everything he does that makes our lives easier or more pleasant' she sighed in admiration of her younger colleague.

'The language of looking after...maybe we should call it that. I wish we all had a way of talking to each other that would be as effective' she ended.

Jack walked away pondering what Toshiko had said. She was right none of them communicated well.

Owen shagged his way through the female population of Wales to prevent himself from having to actually talk.

Toshiko lost herself in gadgets and computer systems because she understood their language better than she did the human beings around her.

Even Gwen, the human heart of the hub did not communicate as effectively as he had hoped she would. She was wrapped up in what she thought they should do, or the way they should act, or the moral stance they should take. She was so busy worrying about the people they were guarding that she had little concern left for those doing the protecting.

Jack considered his own abilities on the communicating front. He had stopped trying a long time ago and now that he wanted to really talk with someone he was having difficulty. He wanted to talk to Ianto about his feelings, explore what their relationship was and hopefully what it could become and he was stumbling over his own inability.

Ianto, this lonely broken Welshman had found a way to do what they had all failed at so miserably. The language of looking after Tosh called it...maybe he could try that...he might find it easier than actual words. At least it would be a start. He would 'look after' Ianto, do something for him that showed he cared.

TWTWTW

Ianto should have the day off and he was not pleased at being called in. Jack had been very apologetic over the phone, muttering about time rift displacements that needed monitoring and exclusion zones setting up. There were four hot spots that the other team members would deal with, but Ianto was needed in the hub to relay co ordinates and check for further temporal disturbances. Jack had promised he could leave as soon as one of them returned.

He sighed to himself as he activated the hub door and entered to see Jack just leaving his office.

'Ianto!!....Oh God' Jack exclaimed unable to move as he looked at what his lover was wearing.

Ianto sighed again. He had known what Jack's reaction would be if he ever saw him in his cycling gear. Ianto had been six miles from the hub when the call had come and had not had time to return home and change, so was still in his lycra shorts and top and was sweaty from the exertion.

'Jack...try to remember I'm not supposed to be here and you have somewhere else to be' warned Ianto.

'Yeeeessss' drawled Jack 'but you look good enough to lick all over in that outfit....oh wait I did that last night' Jack winked at Ianto and ran out of the hub.

Ianto felt his face go warm as he remembered last night's activities.

_Ianto lay on his front enjoying a massage from his lover. He had no doubt Jack would eventually want more and want Ianto to take a more active role but for now he was just enjoying the attention and having the ache in his muscles soothed._

_They were both naked and Jack was sitting on Ianto's legs rubbing at his shoulder. The rubbing began to turn into caresses and Ianto felt Jack lay his body on top of him and begin to kiss his neck. He moaned deep in his throat and felt his cock stir but was not yet ready to stop being pampered, so continued to just lay and enjoy._

_The kisses trailed further down his body across his shoulders and down to nip gently at his waist and lick softly over a rounded buttock. He felt Jack's firm hands kneading his arse then opening it and felt his tongue dive into the crevice. Lapping and licking over his hole._

_Ianto stilled in shock as a wave of lust hit him. Jack realised his lover had become unnaturally still but he didn't seem to be objecting so he continued lapping and wriggling his tongue over Ianto's entrance. It was an act of almost impossible intimacy, a final taboo that Ianto found more thrilling than the sensations it was creating. His mind darted over what Jack was looking at...what he was tasting...Oh God._

'_Fucks sake Jack that is disgusting' Ianto breathed at last._

_Jack immediately stopped and travelled back up Ianto's body to lie at his side and look him in the face._

'_Really?' he asked, disappointment lacing his tone._

'_Yeah...don't stop' answered Ianto softly, his eyes glazed with want._

_Jack laughed._

'_Oh you are going to be the thing that finally kills me Ianto Jones' _

'_Do it again Jack' Ianto begged 'show me how so I can do it to you'_

_Jack smiled at him as his cock twitched at Ianto's words._

'_Yup...definitely going to be the thing that kills me' and he kissed his way down his lover's body to continue his exploration._

Ianto was glad no one else was in the hub to witness the burgeoning erection pushing at his lycra shorts. He had been surprised at how much he had enjoyed last night. It was not something he had done before, had never had any desire to do before, had always found it vaguely repulsive if he was honest. But as always anything Jack did excited him enough to lay down all his inhibitions.

He was as excited by the intimacy as by the act itself. Jack had admitted it was not something he chose to do with everyone but had wanted to try it with Ianto. Ianto was puzzled by the thrill that gave him. He liked thinking he was special, different to the casual shags he was sure Jack must have. He wasn't sure it was a good idea to start believing he meant more to Jack than others, and it was a worse idea to think that Jack was becoming special to him.

He concentrated on sending rift co ordinates to his teammates.

TWTWTW

An hour later the hub alarm sounded as the team arrived back. Ianto left his monitor thinking he would supply them with coffee before he left to continue his day.

He glanced over to Jack, their eyes met and a ghost of a smile played over Ianto's lips. He didn't like to advertise their relationship to the others despite it being common knowledge. Jack had no such reservations however and beamed a grin at his lover which Gwen caught, she turned away smirking. Owen merely rolled his eyes, he had no problem with the gay relationship but preferred not to have the sexual fulfilment of others flaunted in front of him.

'Coffee everybody' asked Ianto cheerily.

'Please' shouted Gwen and Owen.

'Yes please Ianto, and happy birthday' said Toshiko coming up to him and handing him a card.

'Thanks Tosh' said Ianto.

He appreciated the gesture and was struck that she had remembered, after all no one else had, not even Jack. Apart from Jack he was closest to Toshiko. She had known the pain of loss too, but like him she kept her emotions under very tight control, he understood her and they respected and liked each other.

'Happy birthday mate' shouted Owen as if he had known all along.

Ianto merely smiled in his direction, Gwen looked crestfallen.

'Sorry Ianto' she said going over to him and pecking him on the cheek.

'It's ok' smiled Ianto and continued on his way to his beloved coffee machine.

He looked again towards Jack and saw he was still being watched. It always gave him a small thrill to have his lover watch him as he moved about the hub doing his duties. Today he knew Jack would get an extra thrill from watching him in his tight cycling gear.

'Happy birthday Ianto' whispered a sultry voice behind him as a loving arm was slipped about his waist and a soft kiss was planted in the crook of his neck.

Jack had swiftly joined him. Ianto was a little stunned at the gesture it was unlike Jack to be so forward with embraces at work.

'There is a gift for you in my office' Jack breathed, leaning in to kiss him fully.

'For God's sake Harkness put the teaboy down and do some work' yelled Owen rupturing the moment.

Ianto broke away from Jack on hearing Owen's comment and walked towards the office.

'I blame you for that' said Owen indicating Ianto as he continued walking.

Ianto stopped and looked at Owen as Jack replied.

'For what?'

'Ianto....he was a perfectly ordinary decent bloke when he came here...and now look at him...he's wearing fetish gear and snogging blokes in the workplace....he's a sexual deviant' insisted an aggrieved Owen.

Jack laughed and Ianto looked affronted.

'Don't be ridiculous Owen, you know Ianto cycled here, his outfit is perfectly appropriate for that activity' sniped Toshiko.

Ianto threw her a grateful look.

'Maybe...' admitted Owen 'but the man is a walking wet dream in that gear... you can't seriously expect me to accept that Jack isn't planning more perverted uses for it...' muttered Owen.

Jack grinned and Ianto cast a worried look down at him. However turned on Jack might be by his cycling gear nothing sexual would happen whilst he was wearing it. If Ianto got an erection every time he put it on he would probably never go cycling again and it was a pursuit he enjoyed. He cast one last warning glance at Jack and entered the office.

Ianto was standing in Jack's office, his back to the door and holding a partially unwrapped gift. Owen's snipes were still ringing in his ears yet he was holding a token of Jack's increasingly obvious affection. Ianto wasn't sure which bothered him the most. Jack walked over to him.

'Ianto? Is it not the right one?' asked Jack disappointment tingeing his voice.

'Yes it's the right one' whispered Ianto. 'The book my dad read to me when I was a child, a first edition'

Jack came round to face Ianto and saw tears in the younger man's eyes.

'Hey I didn't mean to upset you' said Jack putting his arms around his young lover.

'You didn't upset me Jack I'm just amazed you remembered'

It had been months ago the conversation they had had about childhood when Ianto confessed his most treasured memory of his dead father.

'I remember everything you tell me Ianto' said Jack 'you are very important to me'

Ianto looked into his captain's eyes and wiped the tears from his own.

'Thank you' he said simply 'it's a beautiful and thoughtful gift'

'I'm cooking dinner for you tonight' announced Jack.

'Here?!' asked Ianto wondering what Jack could possibly concoct in the small kitchen area.

'No...' said Jack slowly 'at my house' he continued watching Ianto carefully.

'Oh' said Ianto 'I didn't realise you could cook' he continued looking into his captain's eyes determined to give nothing away.

Jack frowned.

'Ianto I've been on this planet a long time...when I first arrived the only take away food was questionable pies from handcarts on street corners...so yes I quickly learnt to cook....aren't you surprised I have a house?' he asked curiously.

Ianto looked at him directly.

'If there is a record... anywhere....then I know about it..' he answered softly. 'The only things I don't know about you are kept locked up in here' he gently touched the side of Jack's head.

Jack grinned at him.

'Then think of some questions Ianto Jones...because tonight I'm in the mood to share.'

Ianto watched his lover leave the office and frowned to himself. They were becoming more intimate physically and it would seem Jack wanted that on an emotional level too. Jack was always generous with his money frequently spending on his team, but this gift had cost him time and effort. Ianto's breathing became slightly erratic. Nobody else even knew Jack had a house yet he was being invited over for dinner. Jack never did things for other people yet here he was offering to cook for Ianto. It was too cosy... too domestic... too much. He panicked. Putting the book on the table he penned a quick note to say he was visiting his sister and would see Jack in the morning. He left the hub without speaking to him again.


	3. Chapter 3

"loved people I never would have known...."

Ianto's heart was beating abnormally fast as he contemplated the last cup of coffee on his tray. He needed to speak to Jack, to explain why he had run out yesterday after Jack had tried to arrange their night.

He had panicked when he felt Jack was demanding more than he was prepared to give, but now he was panicking in case Jack would not accept the apology. He had realised how much he would miss the older man's company if he ended their arrangement. He was also annoyed with himself for running out without explanation beyond a note. He considered such actions immature and just plain rude.

He knocked on the office door and waited for Jack to command him to enter. He put the coffee on the desk and waited for Jack to look up at him.

'Jack I'm sorry...it was stupid and rude of me to run out on you yesterday'

'Yes it was' answered Jack sternly.

'Are you very cross?' asked Ianto.

'No...' said Jack 'I'm upset'

'Oh' replied Ianto not really knowing how to react to that statement.

'I just wanted to do something nice for you Ianto...why was that so awful you had to run away from me?' he asked genuinely puzzled.

Ianto sat down and tried to think how to explain what had been going through his mind.

'It felt too domestic Jack...that's not us. It's what I used to do with Lisa...I never thought you would want that' he said.

'I never thought I would want it either' Jack admitted. 'When I was away....well..it was horrible.. and I just want something good to chase away the pain... I can't always be the cool captain that knows how to solve the world's problems...sometimes I just want someone to hold me and make me feel safe' he continued.

Ianto looked at him surprised. It was a long speech for Jack and Ianto had never heard him admit to needing anything before, certainly not something as ordinary as a pair of safe arms.

'Is that too much to ask?...is it too much to ask from you?' Jack asked when Ianto continued to just stare at him.

'No' Ianto replied softly 'it's not too much. I'm sorry...I was stupid'

'We can go slowly Ianto...if you don't want to do domestic that's ok...but I'd like to lean on you sometimes....I need you' he finally admitted.

Ianto left his seat and came to kneel beside the captain's chair pulling him down for a kiss.

'I need you too...maybe we can learn to lean on each other' he said quietly.

Jack smiled at him and hugged him briefly.

'Back to work Jones...just because I'm shagging you doesn't mean you get to shirk duties'

Ianto laughed pleased that Jack was not going to prolong the cosy stuff. He was beginning to feel slightly uncomfortable again.

TWTWTW

It had been three days now since Ianto's birthday and the subsequent heart to heart in Jack's office. The two men were still edgy with each other and had not really spent any time together. Jack was wary of being too forthright about his emotions and Ianto was worried Jack would think he was rejecting him if he didn't respond adequately.

They spent so much time worrying about the other's reaction that they did not spend long enough together to give each other anything to react to. They had seemingly come to a new understanding, but all it had done was make them nervous around each other.

Ianto was beginning to suspect that Jack was opting for friendship rather than lovers. He wasn't sure what he wanted from Jack but he certainly knew it was beyond friendship and he was starting to need Jack physically. It had after all been almost a week since they had been together and that was a long time for them. Maybe Jack was finding sexual fulfilment elsewhere. Except he was no longer sure Jack would do that.

Ianto had never been good at making sexual demands. Lisa had admitted once that she had had sex with him when she hadn't really been in the mood. Ianto had been devastated. Lisa tried to explain that sometimes in relationships that was what happened. It hadn't been that she didn't want him or that she had hated it, she just hadn't been receptive to pleasure for herself that one time. She had told him that compromise always occurred in long term relationships and that because she loved him and knew he wanted it, she had done it despite being uninterested.

She hadn't been able to understand why it had upset him so much. Ianto felt as if he had used her for his own purposes and it made him feel a little sick at heart. His mind understood what she was saying about compromise and giving someone you love something they need, but his heart still recoiled from the idea.

Now though he needed Jack. He wanted to march in and ask him to come to bed. He thought it highly unlikely that Jack would refuse, and being male would make it harder for him to feign interest, but he needed Jack to want him. He realised he had become accustomed to being desired and he didn't like the idea that Jack's interest might be fading.

TWTWTW

Twenty minutes later and a single phone call had made all such thoughts recede into the background for Ianto. He pushed quickly into Jack's office.

'Jack, I have to leave'

Jack looked up startled, Ianto had entered his office without knocking and was obviously upset.

'Leave what Ianto, Torchwood.. this time continuum.. me?' asked Jack bemused and a little worried.

Ianto was walking around his office in confusion unable to keep still.

'I have to go home, my...my Nan has died' he stumbled over the words.

'Oh Ianto' exclaimed Jack getting up and coming to embrace the younger man, 'I'm sorry...were you close?'

Ianto leant into his lover's arms.

'No...but I need to be there for mam...she'll be upset...she'll need me' he said.

'Of course' said Jack 'go...take as much time as you need, I'll organise leave for you'.

Ianto looked up at Jack, he needed this man, he yearned for him constantly but he had no idea if his feelings went deeper than need and desire.

'The funeral is on Friday, I need to leave today if that is ok?' he said.

'Of course' replied Jack taking the younger man's hands in his own, 'will you be ok?'

Ianto wanted to scream 'NO!' at him, wanted to beg Jack to go with him to his home, wanted to ask to be loved, to be looked after, but he took a deep breath and calmed himself. He recognised these as the emotions that sudden death always forced to the surface, but even so was surprised to feel them in connection with his boss.

'Yes... I'll be back at the weekend'.

Jack watched him walk away shoulders slumped and a general air of defeat about him. Should he have offered to go with him? He didn't want to intrude and Ianto had never offered to introduce his family. Jack knew Ianto hadn't told them about their relationship. Was that because they would not accept a same sex union, or did he just not want Jack that involved with his life?

He watched from his office as Toshiko spoke quietly to Ianto and saw her hug him tightly and continue to whisper words of comfort. Jack felt a small pang of jealousy as he watched them together. Did his feelings for Ianto run so deep now he didn't even like to share him with his friends?

Ianto collected his keys and phone and made to leave the hub, Gwen hugged him as he passed her station. Jack still watched.

Jack was fully aware that Gwen was sexually attracted to him but he would never act on the knowledge. He had made a decision that her life should be as near normal as possible and that meant no complications. Frankly she did not present enough of a challenge. He enjoyed her company and liked flirting with her, but knowing she would come to him if he asked was a little disturbing. She would be complicated and demanding as a lover and he thought the hub needed the normality that her relationship with Rhys gave them.

Ianto was more interesting, more hidden and had definitely been worth the wait.

Owen touched Ianto's arm as he reached the hub door and the two men shared a small smile and a nod. Jack tutted to himself, 21st century men have no idea how to communicate emotion he thought with disgust.

He had a small stab of pain as he realised that was exactly the trap he had fallen into with Ianto, he had not communicated his emotions. He had not told the young man how much he meant to him, had not asked if Ianto felt the same way. He had left it so long that their relationship had become a sexual arrangement and now he was not sure he would ever convince Ianto it could be more.

With a jolt he realised he had left it so long because he feared rejection. He almost laughed at himself, rejection wasn't something he normally faced or feared. This young Welshman had really got under his skin.

TWTWTW

Ianto stood at the graveside with his mother. Opposite him were several family members that Ianto only vaguely remembered from previous occasions. There were various friends of his mother and nan ranged about the graveside waiting for the vicar to begin.

It had been a gruelling two days, helping his mam to organise flowers, buying in refreshments for the wake, speaking to the vicar. The vicar that Ianto remembered from services when he was a child had long since retired and the new one was young and a bit trendy. His mam wasn't keen but Ianto had found him sympathetic enough, and had even felt some of the old comfort of faith when speaking to him.

Ianto took a deep breath, this would soon be over and he could return to his real life at Torchwood. He didn't belong to these people any more. But did he belong to Torchwood? To Jack? He tried to refocus his thoughts on the scene before him.

As the vicar began his final speeches Ianto felt a presence at his side and a warm hand entwined with his. He whipped his head around to see Jack, straight faced paying complete attention to the service. Ianto's mouth fell slightly open with shock and then he felt the relief wash through him. His captain was here, everything would be alright, and he would analyse his reaction to that later.

The remainder of the graveside service passed in a blur for Ianto, he tried to concentrate but could only wonder at what had bought Jack here. What did this mean for them? How did he feel about it? How had Jack even known where _here _was? Jack did not look at him until the service ended but he kept his fingers entwined with Ianto's, comforting him with his touch.

'Is it ok that I came here?' asked Jack when they left the graveside.

'Yes' said Ianto simply, 'Thank you...but why?' watching the other man's face intently.

'I needed to know you were ok Ianto....I always need to know you're ok, but I don't often find the courage to ask........is it ok for me to ask?' said Jack.

Ianto was surprised at Jack asking for permission, he felt his desire for this man tugging at his heart.

'It's ok for you to ask...always...and yes, I'm ok...now' he answered.

They smiled at each other, both feeling reassured by the other's need, by the fact that they were reaching for a new level of understanding.

'Will...will you come to my mother's house?' asked Ianto.

'Yes please' smiled Jack and although they had dropped hands, they felt closer than ever.

TWTWTW

Ianto Jones' childhood home thought Jack looking around with interest. I wonder if his mother has kept his bedroom as it was when he left. Doting mothers have been known to do that and Jack would like to see evidence of the teenage Ianto Jones, all that angst and hormones. He shook himself, this was a funeral and he really shouldn't be thinking such thoughts.

Ianto was busy handing out cups of tea and sandwiches looking every inch the perfect son, or the capable butler depending on your point of view. Jack stood leaning against a wall watching him and yearning for the time he could take him home and make him feel better.

He watched him making small talk with old ladies, smiling indulgently as they told him how he had grown, and listening patiently as they told him of their cares. Ianto doing what he did best, taking care of others.

Jack became aware that Ianto's mother was standing with him, also watching Ianto.

'How long have you been together?' she asked him quietly.

Jack looked at her and raised his eyebrows.

'I know my son Mr Harkness' she said with quiet dignity.

'When you arrived at my mother's graveside I felt every atom in my son's body relax. He had what he needed most' she continued.

'A while Mrs Jones' answered Jack, unable to stop the thrill her words gave him.

He respected her need for honesty and hoped Ianto would not expect him to deny their relationship.

'He never told me. He only ever bought home girls' she said sadly.

Jack looked at her and wondered how much Ianto would be upset if he told his secrets.

'There were only girls before me' he assured her.

He looked her directly in the face and was reassured by the understanding he saw.

'It's not just men for either of us....we just got lucky and found each other...' he tried to explain.

She nodded, trying to grasp what he was saying and take in this new information about her only son.

They were both speaking quietly and no longer looking at each other. But she turned to look at him now and studied him closely, suddenly nodding slightly in a way that reminded Jack of one of Ianto's gestures.

'Even now....' she said 'he isn't looking at you yet every fibre of his being knows where you are, and is wondering what we can be saying together.... he's worried about what I'll think' she said softly.

'And what do you think Mrs Jones' asked Jack cautiously.

Ianto's mother studied him intently for a moment.

'I think you make him happy....I hope you deserve him. Do you like my son Mr Harkness?'

'I love him Mrs Jones' replied Jack simply, surprising himself as he acknowledged the truth of what he was saying.

'Then you should tell him' she insisted.

'I don't think he wants to know' replied Jack a little sadly.

Ianto's mother smiled faintly at him.

'If you know anything about my son you will know that he keeps himself hidden' she said.

Jack smiled ruefully.

'Oh that is one thing I do know about him' he said.

'But he craves love' she added 'he keeps it well hidden...and often denies it even to himself...but he yearns for acceptance...security...will you give him that?' she finished with a determined questioning look.

Jack tried to nod, but wasn't sure he could fulfil all those things. Maybe he loved Ianto but security wasn't something Torchwood dealt in. Mrs Jones saw his doubt.

'Don't hurt him Mr Harkness' she said, and without looking at him again she called to Ianto.

Ianto came over to where his mother and Jack had been talking so earnestly. He was a little worried about what Jack may have said, and whether his mother realised the true nature of their relationship. He had only introduced him as his boss.

'Ianto, you have done enough here' said his mother kissing his forehead.

'It's time for the captain to take you home. Leave death and mourning behind, go and find life in each other.'

Ianto looked from one to the other. Jack took his hand, smiled at him and led him away.

A few days ago it had been Jack who had asked for someone to lean on, yet here he was once again providing the support.

TWTWTW

Jack had driven them back to Ianto's house and they were now in his kitchen.

'I'm sorry' whispered Ianto.

'For what?' asked Jack puzzled.

'For doing the leaning....you ask for one thing from me, yet I need it from you first....safe arms to hold me' said Ianto shame facedly.

'Don't be daft Ianto you couldn't know this would happen....it works both ways...I want to be there for you too' said Jack with a smile.

'I want something else now' said Ianto shakily but determined to voice this.

'Oh?'

'I want you to come to bed' continued Ianto looking at Jack to gauge the older man's reaction to his request.

'Ok' said Jack softly and led the way to the bedroom.

They undressed separately and climbed under the covers. They had not been together intimately for a week but it seemed longer because of everything that had happened and had been said between them.

They came into each other's embrace and kissed. Gently at first but then need took over and the kiss deepened and hands began to wander. Cocks rubbed together and both men moaned, breathing speeding up and heartbeats racing.

Jack pushed his younger lover back onto the bed and climbed on top of him, pushing their hard cocks between their bodies and thrusting his hips. Biting and kissing Ianto's neck as the younger man's hands wandered down his back.

'Jack...' said Ianto, pushing Jack's face away from his neck to look at him.

'Ianto?...you ok?' asked Jack wondering what the problem was.

'Jack...' Ianto stumbled 'I want you to fuck me'

Jack rolled off Ianto and looked into his eyes, brushing a hand down his lover's cheek.

'Ianto...no...don't do this for me...I'm happy with what we do' he whispered.

'It's not for you Jack...please..I want to' Ianto leant up to nibble Jack's lower lip hoping to persuade the older man.

Jack pressed their foreheads together. He so desperately wanted to slam Ianto down and fuck him hard, but he wanted Ianto to be sure. His hips continued to thrust against the other man as they lay side by side, panting into each other's mouths.

'That first time...your first time...you did it for me...' stated Jack still needing to be convinced.

'Yes..' admitted Ianto.

He suddenly saw the unmistakable truth of all Lisa had tried to tell him, and how he had already given of himself when his lover was in need.

'But I liked it...I want to do it again Jack...but we don't have to..' he continued uncertain now about Jack's objections.

'Oh I want to Ianto...I just want you to be sure this time'

'I'm sure' insisted Ianto.

Ianto leant in and kissed Jack softly, running his hand down to the captain's cock and stroking lightly, twisting his wrist in the way he knew Jack liked. Jack's breathing stuttered and he pushed Ianto down again taking mastery of the situation.

Jack reached over to the bedside table groping for condoms and lube, ready to scream with frustration when all he came up with was an empty box.

'Ianto...please tell me you have more condoms' he gasped.

Ianto looked crestfallen. He had used the last one with a one night stand just weeks after Lisa's death. He had been disgusted with himself in the morning swearing never to take that sort of comfort again. Then he and Jack had begun their arrangement and condoms weren't something they needed for their activities and he had never replaced them.

Jack held up an almost empty tube of lube.

'You've been having fun whilst I was away' he stated a little sadly.

'Actually no...there are no condoms because I haven't needed them...and the lube...well...I was alone..' mumbled Ianto mildly embarrassed.

'Oh' Jack grinned.

He began kissing Ianto's neck again and running light fingers over his weeping cock. His breath coming in short bursts as both men struggled to talk over their increasing arousal.

'Ianto...while I was away...and even for some time before I left...there was no one else'.

'Ummm'

Ianto was not really listening as he kissed frantically over Jack's neck and continued pumping his cock. He was losing interest in conversation.

'Ianto!!'

Jack jerked his lover's chin away from his nipples and forced him to look into his face.

'Jack..?' questioned Ianto breathlessly.

Just because they couldn't fuck didn't mean they couldn't have fun and Ianto was desperate for relief.

'Ianto...if it's just us...we can go without..' he said shaking the empty condom box at the younger man to emphasise his point.

Ianto stopped completely and thought about this new development. Jack immediately thought he had gone beyond Ianto's comfort zone again. Maybe the younger man was not ready for exclusivity, or maybe the thought of penetration without protection was too much. Jack watched the thoughts passing over Ianto's face and awaited the verdict.

Ianto considered. He preferred to have only one partner for many reasons not least being sexual health. He had never thought of Jack as an exclusive person though. He had always assumed Jack had carried on shagging around despite their arrangement and here he was having to rethink everything again.

He lay on his back thinking for a moment. Then he moved back into Jack's embrace and began kissing him again, working his way up his neck to his mouth.

'Ianto?' questioned Jack again.

Ianto kissed his neck and breathed into his ear.

'Yes Jack...it's just us..'

'So we can....?' asked Jack his breath catching as he thought about it.

'Yes' answered Ianto pulling Jack on top of him. 'But if it ever becomes not just us...if you need someone else...I may want to rethink this...so you have to promise to tell me'

'I won't want anyone else Ianto' answered Jack gasping as he rubbed both their cocks together in his hand.

'Oh God...'breathed Ianto as the sensations threatened to overtake his mind.

'Jack...you have to promise..' he almost shouted in his effort to get the words out whilst he still could.

Jack briefly stopped his ministrations and looked Ianto fully in the eyes.

'I promise' he whispered.

Jack grabbed the bottle of lube and coated his hand reaching between them both to cover Ianto's cock to allow it to slide easily between their bodies, then he trailed his fingers down further to the secret space behind the younger man's balls that was sensitive in all the best ways.

Ianto had his eyes closed and his breath was coming in ragged bursts. Jack began to circle his entrance before gently breaching it with a single finger. Ianto jumped slightly and Jack nuzzled his neck.

'Ok?' he asked.

'Yeah...sorry...still feels a little weird.

Jack continued his preparations and added a second finger causing Ianto to squirm again.

'Ianto..I really want to fuck you' whispered Jack in his ear.

Ianto's breath caught as he listened to Jack's words and felt his fingers brush his prostrate.

'Arrh...Jack...do it...do it..' he whispered harshly as the sensations coursed through him.

Jack leaned over his lover, watching the lust wash over his face and felt his heartbeat quicken in response. He gave the lube to Ianto who looked at him in question and then squeezed some into his hand and caressed it over Jack's swollen cock.

'Come on Jack...come on..' he breathed stroking his lover and biting his neck gently.

Jack lost control, positioned himself at Ianto's entrance and pushed hard slipping quickly inside and being enveloped by tightness and heat. He wanted to move immediately, desperation for release building, but Ianto had gripped his hips.

'Wait...wait...Jack it hurts...wait' he hissed.

Jack buried his head in Ianto's neck trying to breathe steadily and calm himself, to prevent himself from moving when his lover was obviously not ready. He calmed himself enough to talk.

'Ianto...I'm sorry...are you ok?' he gasped.

Ianto's erection had flagged and he tried to ignore his own need and concentrate on the younger man. He looked at Ianto's face, saw tears in his eyes and had to concentrate harder on not moving. The tears had hit a kink nerve in Jack and he suddenly wanted to thrust and hurt the man under him, make him wriggle and squirm and beg to be released. Oh God .

He kissed over his neck and reached his mouth. He reconnected with Ianto by pressing their lips together and gently pushing his tongue against the other mans.

Ianto broke the kiss, his arousal growing again.

'I'm ok...bit of a shock' he gasped into his captain's mouth 'you can move now' he added cheekily and thrust his own hips slightly, both men catching their breath with the new sensations.

From desperation to pain and back to arousal and need, Jack was finding it hard to keep up with the young Welshman and he wanted to show him who was in charge.

Jack pulled out slowly and pushed back in equally slowly. Ianto's hands wandered over his back, he watched the muscles contracting in his lover's arms and shoulders as he controlled his actions.

'Still ok?' asked Jack barely gasping it out.

'Yes...go faster...fuck me Jack' insisted Ianto lifting his hips up and pulling Jack to him to gain friction on his own cock as the captain's stomach rubbed over it.

Jack looked into his face and seeing only lust began to thrust in earnest. He should be leading this yet he kept taking instruction from Ianto. He took hold of the younger man's hips hard enough to bruise and shoved his cock as far up his arse as hard as he could. Ianto gasped, his eyes springing open to look at him in surprise and pleasure. Jack growled at the back of his throat in recognition of the pleasure he saw in Ianto's face and in realisation of the need the other man had for some harshness in the act. He let go of some of his own desire to hurt, pushing in harshly and pulling Ianto's hips back towards him possessively with pinching fingers.

Ianto pulled him down for a fierce kiss, then grunting he bit at Jack's shoulder urging him on to further and faster thrusting.

The rhythm quickly became erratic as both men pulled closer to release. Ianto tried to wriggle a hand between the two of them.

'Jack...not enough..' he gasped.

Jack realised what the younger man was telling him and moved to allow himself access to the other man's cock. Brushing Ianto's hand away he grasped it himself and began to pump hard in time with his thrusts.

'Arrh...shit...fuck'

Ianto came over Jack's hand as the extra pressure pulled him over the edge of release.

Jack watched eagerly as the ropes of Ianto's come spread across the younger man's belly and barely groaned as it pushed him over the edge of orgasm and with a few more stuttering thrusts he filled his lover. He collapsed on top of Ianto breathing harshly into his shoulder and smearing the warm come between their two bodies before he shifted his weight to the side.

They lay next to each other breathing more slowly now. Ianto rolled over and pressed a kiss to Jack's shoulder. Jack smiled at him.

'Ok?' he asked.

'Yeah...tired' responded Ianto.

'So.... it's just us now?' asked Jack.

'So it would seem' responded Ianto smiling.

'Can I still flirt?' asked Jack with a grin.

'Yes Jack' said Ianto with an answering smile.

'Even with people in the hub? Continued Jack

Ianto felt his heart contract slightly. Despite the restrictions he placed on his relationship with Jack he still did not like the idea of him flirting with Gwen, but he recognised he could not impose rules without admitting their relationship was more than he was comfortable with.

'Yes' he conceded.

'Good....I enjoy freaking Owen out by coming on to him' laughed Jack.

Ianto laughed with him, feeling a joy he was not yet ready to analyse when he realised the way Jack's thoughts had been heading.

Jack relaxed into the afterglow of orgasm and hugged the lax body curled into his own. He felt the need to say something more to the young man in his arms.

He wasn't sure this was a good idea. He accepted that Ianto meant more to him than anyone else in his life at the moment and had been told that Ianto would be receptive to the idea. Ianto's mother must know him well, but was she correct about this? She didn't know all the young man had been through and she didn't know what their relationship had entailed until now.

'Ianto...your mother told me to tell you something' began Jack.

Ianto had frozen beside him and Jack turned to look at him.

'Don't Jack....mam wants me to be happy...but she doesn't really know me anymore...don't say it'

Jack closed his eyes on the hurt and accepted that now was not the time.

'Ok' he whispered.


	4. Chapter 4

"Pray they survive"

The team had left in the aftermath of Gwen's refusal to Retcon Rhys. Jack was in his office brooding and Ianto was at his workstation trying to make sense of all that had happened. He had been surprised that Jack had wanted to save the creature and astonished at his reaction to it's ultimate death.

Jack did not usually express such an amount of grief over inevitable outcomes. He had changed a great deal since coming back from his excursion with the Doctor. Ianto knew some of what had happened during his time away and it had not been pretty. But Ianto suspected it had been even worse than Jack had admitted as it had obviously affected him deeply.

Ianto was also worried about Jack's decision not to Retcon Rhys. That really was out of character. The only other time Jack had so blatantly defied Torchwood protocols was when he did not Retcon Ianto after Lisa. Ianto knew that was because he had been so impressed by his ability to deceive and the depth of loyalty that could lead him to sacrifice so much. Jack had seen those things and wanted them for Torchwood.

What had he seen in Gwen and Rhys that had led to this decision? Ianto felt a flare of jealousy that Jack was willing to give Gwen something she wanted. He tried to pretend he did not feel possessive, but he did not want Gwen to be important enough to Jack that he would forego rules. He wanted to be the only person that important to Jack.

Ianto took a deep breath. He could not feel jealousy, it was ridiculous. He and Jack had an arrangement that was all. But it was becoming an ever more complicated arrangement and now an exclusive one. It was fast becoming a relationship and Ianto did not like that at all.

He looked up to Jack's office and knew he must put his own feeling aside and help his lover. Whatever he thought and felt could be dealt with later. Right now Jack needed to be teased out of his brooding mood. He collected his emotions behind his professional mask and walked calmly up to meet him.

'Jack?' he said at the door to the office.

Jack did not answer. He was standing staring into space out over the hub. Ianto walked over to him and stood close in front. He stood near enough to feel the heat from the other man but without touching. He ran his thumb down the back of his lover's hand and pushed his face close enough to ghost a kiss over his lips.

'Sir' he whispered.

Jack sighed. Ianto knew this action would affect him as always. It calmed him, soothed him and turned him on. It focussed him on to Ianto and grounded him in the reality of his feelings for this young man. He leant forward slightly and kissed Ianto gently.

'I'm sorry' he whispered.

'For what?' asked Ianto.

'I should have followed protocol...I should have worried more about you than getting a civilian Retconned...in the end I did neither properly' he admitted.

'Rhys will be ok. He loves Gwen too much to put her in danger by talking...you made the right decision...she'll work better by being able to share at home' said Ianto.

'But what about you? I practically ignored you in my desperation to get things done' sighed Jack.

'I know you care Jack...I don't need you fawning over me...I don't want it..you know that' said Ianto.

Jack looked at him and Ianto saw hurt as well as concern and was sorry for what he had said, but it was the truth and he couldn't retract it. Even as he thought this he knew he was coming ever closer to losing his neutrality, his jealousy of Gwen was proof enough of that.

'I don't want Gwen...I want what she has...a normal relationship...someone to love her..a chance to grow old with the man she loves..' Jack said.

Ianto knew then that Jack had seen his jealousy. This was not good.

'Let it go sir' he whispered kissing Jack a little less gently now.

If he could initiate something physical then they could both stop thinking about things they were not comfortable with. Jack responded to the kiss but Ianto could still feel his reticence to let go and loose himself. Ianto trailed kisses over Jack's jaw line and neck and up behind his ear until he could feel Jack begin to relax. When he felt Jack's head fall onto his shoulder he knew he was winning.

'Take me home sir' he whispered huskily.

'My home Ianto?' pleaded Jack.

Ianto considered. Jack was obviously still wound up. He was not comfortable going to Jack's house, it suggested an intimacy he did not want, but his captain needed something more than physical closeness to feel better today. Ianto decided on compromise.

'Your home Jack' he agreed 'but I cook'

'Deal!' said Jack delighted to have won this much from his lover.

TWTWTW

Ianto had not been back to Jack's house since that night more than a week ago. It had been an awkward night. Ianto had cooked a pasta dish that Jack had raved about and they had wild sex in Jack's huge bath tub. But Ianto had been desperate to leave early the next morning and Jack had realised his unease and had not asked him back. He had stayed the night and that was enough for Jack for now.

They had slipped back into their arrangement with Ianto neatly deflecting any show of affection by insisting it was inappropriate in the workplace. He knew he was slipping into feeling more for Jack than he actually wanted to. He craved his company, yearned for his body and wanted to be first in his life. He knew this and yet denied it to himself.

He couldn't love anyone again after Lisa, it had hurt too much to lose her. Jack would never die but he could leave, he had left. Ianto couldn't handle the kind of hurt that loosing Lisa had caused him again. He had to keep himself safe from that.

He had imagined being with Jack would keep him safe. Jack would want his body without commitment, want his company without promises. It was perfect, but now Jack wanted more. Ianto fought his own desire to give Jack more on a daily basis. He fought his desire to want it, he fought his need to fall into it. He stood at his workstation and sighed, he would concentrate on work. Love only brought hurt and disappointment.

TWTWTW

Ianto, Gwen and Owen had been ordered by Jack to the local hospital to deal with apparent victims of an unexpected and daytime Weevil attack. Weevils usually attacked by night and victims were most often on their own or in pairs but this had been a large scale attack. Andy Davidson had called it in to Torchwood when he saw the nature of the injuries and the statements being made by the victims.

'Thanks Andy' said Gwen acknowledging that his call had been correct.

'This is one of yours then?' asked Andy.

'Looks like it yeah' admitted Gwen.

Although Andy knew more than most uniformed officers about the nature of Torchwood he still did not warrant being told everything. Gwen really liked her former partner and didn't want him messed up in something that could get him Retconned at best and killed at worst.

'Could you help me gather all the victims into one room...we'll need to deal with them as Torchwood contacts' said Gwen.

'And by _deal_ you mean convince them to forget what they saw and toe the party line?' tutted Andy.

The police officer truly believed the general public could handle more information than Torchwood gave them credit for.

Gwen sighed. Convincing would not really play a part. Once Owen had established there were no life threatening injuries and had treated those that remained, she would administer Retcon and Ianto would establish alibis and cover stories for those that needed them and for worried relatives etc.

If she was honest Gwen was a little bored by this mission. The victims just needed Retconning and then they were out of here, it had none of the excitement that she was beginning to crave. She wanted to get back to the hub and see if any real rift activity had erupted whilst they were gone.

Owen however took his responsibilities as a doctor seriously. If he was the only doctor who would see and treat these injuries then he determined to ensure that the victims were not short changed. He sutured and administered antibiotics and even took care with cleaning what looked to Gwen to be minor scrapes and cuts. She was beginning to get annoyed with his attention to detail.

Ianto also took his calling seriously. He was talking to all the victims at length to discover how much they had witnessed of the actual _perpetrator of the crime._ Who would actually need drugs and who could be convinced without them, of the agreed cover story of a drug induced terror strike by a youth in Halloween mask.

Owen said it was the mix of the tie and the little boy charm that made Ianto so believable. Jack said it was this same mix that made him so sexually appealing and both Owen and Ianto had found that statement more than a little unnerving.

The victims were all attacked at a local church fete. Luckily the fete had been winding down and was near to closing so only the organisers and a few loiterers were left. The vicar was among them and several ladies and older couples who had done most of the organising. But there were a few younger couples who had been lingering in the warm afternoon sunshine reluctant to return to parental homes. There was one young couple with a child in a buggy. Fortunately the child had been asleep throughout the attack and was still asleep now. Ianto looked at the child and wished for the oblivion that innocence and lack of years could bring.

Ianto was endearing himself to the older ladies as usual. What was it about him that children and old ladies loved he wondered. Pity he didn't have the same effect on the young and gorgeous, now that would be a power worth having. He sighed to himself. Still at least Jack liked him. He had a sudden qualm that Jack was older than all these people and maybe the same thing they found appealing in Ianto was what Jack found appealing in him. No, that could not be it. He seriously doubted that any of these older people wanted to do the things to him that Jack did. He actually doubted whether they knew that some of the things Jack did existed.

Still he could make use of the fact that they all seemed to trust him instinctively and warmed to him, to convince them more readily of the cover story and hopefully avoid Retconning most of them.

One old lady in particular was quietly offering sympathy to Ianto, as if he had been injured and not she.

'Making friends Ianto?' laughed Gwen when he finally managed to extricate himself.

Ianto took offence at Gwen's obviously mocking tone.

'Listening to people and encouraging them to talk is easier than drugging them...nicer too' he huffed.

'You are a real charmer Mr Jones' she said in a lighter tone.

'And you are too cynical for your years Ms Cooper' retaliated Ianto with a smile.

When it came to the vicar Ianto knew he could not justify drugging the man despite his refusal to believe the creatures he saw were human.

'Do you believe in God Mr Jones?' asked the vicar.

'Yes' answered Ianto simply.

'Then what were those creatures? Some sort of demon from hell?' the vicar was trying to understand events from within his own framework for the universe.

Ianto made the decision to trust the man's ability to cope and understand.

'No' he said 'they are from another world...not another realm in this world'

'I don't think I can cope with this' said the vicar running his hands through his hair as he looked at Ianto in despair.

'Sure you can' said Ianto 'you know there are parts of God's universe we don't understand yet...this is an example...and you have to be there to lead your parishioners...they expect you to lead them away from this nightmare' he urged.

Ianto squeezed the vicar's arm and led him over to one of the old ladies who was beginning to cry. She looked up at him with eyes that begged to be comforted. The vicar sat and began his work.

TWTWTW

They had found the body of the Weevil a short distance from the scene of the crime, dead from unknown causes. They had bought the body back for Owen to dissect and run tests on, in the hope of finding a reason why this one had attacked in daylight.

Back at the hub Owen began his work whilst Ianto was completing paperwork and Gwen gave a report to Jack.

'Did you know Ianto believes in God Jack?' she asked as she finished.

'Yes' he answered.

'How is it possible to hold onto those sort of beliefs when we do this job?' Gwen asked genuinely amazed.

'Don't you think it makes it easier?' asked Jack.

'We see all these things...we know things exist that other people would refuse to accept...when you've seen what we've seen believing in a higher existence doesn't seem so impossible..' he continued.

Gwen considered this. She had not thought of it like this before, and surprisingly it made sense. She had seen things she would never have believed a few years ago. She believed in things now that she wouldn't have believed in when she was younger.

Jack spoke again.

'With everything I've seen God no longer requires a leap of faith...more of a small step' he concluded.

'Do you believe Jack?' Gwen asked.

He smiled at her.

'I gave up wondering a long time ago...but I like the fact that Ianto believes...it takes a special mind to see death, destruction and hatred on an almost daily basis and still believe the prevailing force in the universe is love' he said with a faraway look in his eye.

Ianto had been at the office door. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop but the temptation was too much when he found himself the subject under discussion.

'I'm finished here sir, is there anything else you would like me to do?' he asked quietly.

'No. You and Gwen go home. Tosh has already left and Owen is just finishing up' said Jack.

Gwen immediately left the office, smiling apologetically at Ianto as she passed him.

'Ianto' said Jack.

Ianto turned to look at Jack.

'If love is the prevailing force in the universe...don't shut it out of your life' he begged.

'I'll just file these reports and help Owen to finish in the lab sir' said Ianto choosing to ignore what Jack was truly saying to him.

TWTWTW

It was actually almost two hours later before Ianto had helped Owen to clear up the medical bay and had gone to the archives to file the reports. He had lingered in the archives lost in his own thoughts for a while.

_Contemplating the meaning of life in the middle of a base designed to combat alien threats._

Thought Ianto smiling to himself. I'm being ridiculous and I'm tired. The vicar had unlocked memories of his childhood and Sunday School sessions where the world had seemed so black and white and easy to understand.

He trudged back into the main hub and had a last tidy around still thinking about the church he had seen when he took the vicar home. The vicar had asked him to come and pray in the church. Ianto had gone because he knew it would help the man to adjust. But he had felt himself become calm in the peaceful atmosphere and knew he had gained as much as the man he had ostensibly been helping.

Ianto's body was extremely tired but his mind was rampant. He took himself down to Jack's bunker room still contemplating his time in the church and not really thinking about his actions.

Jack lay on his bed with a file he was reading. He watched the young man arrive in his room and begin to undress. Ianto had never come to his room without an express invitation before and Jack was slightly bemused by his obvious inattention to what he was doing.

As Ianto removed his shirt he decided to speak.

'Ianto?' he questioned.

Ianto's head shot up and his expression was almost comical as he realised where he was and that he was undressing.

'Jack?...I'm sorry...I was busy thinking...didn't realise.' he stuttered mortified that he had transgressed into his lover's personal space without invitation.

'You are always welcome here Jones' laughed Jack.

'I'm tired Jack...I didn't come for...I'm sorry...I wasn't paying attention..' mumbled Ianto.

He really was not in the mood for sex, he was too tired, but that was the only reason he should be here. He started to pick up his shirt to put it back on.

'I'll go home...sorry' he mumbled again.

Jack put the report down and got off the bed. He removed Ianto's shirt from his hands and began to undo his trousers.

'I know you're not here for sex Ianto...I can see you're tired...but you are still welcome here...come to bed' he whispered as gentle hands finished undressing the young Welshman.

Ianto hesitated, sleeping together without sex really was a couple thing to do, too domestic. But he was tired, and now fully undressed. He really could not be bothered to dress and go all the way home when an inviting bed was right there. Maybe if he woke early he could persuade Jack into an early morning session that would justify his staying.

He made the decision and climbed into bed, snuggling down immediately to sleep. As he was drifting off he heard Jack ask him a question.

'Ianto?... am I in your prayers?'

Ianto turned to look at the man whose bed he was laying in. Despite the conversation he had overheard earlier he still half expected to see mockery in Jack's face. But he saw nothing other than a genuine desire to know, and perhaps hope.

'Always' he replied smiling.

Jack smiled back at him.

'Goodnight Ianto'

'Good night Jack'


	5. Chapter 5

"You"

The team had spent all day at their monitors trying to decipher where the last 48 hours had gone. Toshiko had spent most of her time unsuccessfully trying to retrieve CCTV footage that might be of use. Owen was running scans and blood tests on the team, but so far it only revealed Retcon in their blood, which was no surprise to any of them. Gwen was running replays of all news channels over the previous two days and analyses of rift behaviour over the same period, to see if unexpected activity could explain what had happened.

They were all feeling out of kilter. Owen could not understand why flowers had appeared for Toshiko with his name signed on them. Yet he had a deep feeling that he had sent them and had wanted to appease Tosh in some way with the gesture. It was deeply unsettling to feel something had happened that he could not remember and had made him act so out of character. He kept sneaking little glances at the Japanese woman and trying to jerk his memory.

Toshiko was also sneaking glances at Owen. She knew he was watching her and could not help wondering if he remembered why he had sent the flowers. Toshiko felt she had lost something in the missing time. She felt like she had after Mary had betrayed her and after Tommy had been sent home. Slightly empty, lonely and upset. The only difference this time was that she could not remember why. If knowing would hurt her as much as Mary and Tommy had, she was not entirely sure she wanted to remember.

Gwen was worried about Rhys. She constantly wanted to call him and hear his voice, remind herself what he sounded like, talk to him about things she kept remembering from ages ago that they had done together. She had already called him five times and he was beginning to lose his patience, he was at work after all and she never had a real reason to contact him, just an uneasy need to be in touch.

Jack had guessed all along that they had been Retconned and that must mean they had done it to themselves, which probably meant it would be a good idea not to investigate too closely. However the team needed to look into it and come to terms with missing memories in their individual ways. Once they reached dead ends with their investigations they would be happier, or at least more content to accept what had happened.

Jack had missing memories from when he was employed as a time agent. Two years of his life had been stolen and he had never really come to terms with that, two days would be easy in comparison. There must have been a good reason they were all Retconned, Jack could sense that, he was not happy about it, but he was finding it easier to accept than his younger teammates.

Ianto was nervous and Jack worried about him. He had followed Jack about the hub at times today as if scared to be on his own, needing reassurance. He kept making excuses to come into Jack's office and talk to him. Plus he had stayed in the main hub all day whereas normally he would venture to the archives, either to work or just to escape the incessant chat and activity on the main floor.

Ianto had left to collect a lunch order for the team but had returned five minutes later empty handed and joined Jack again in his office.

'Ianto?' questioned Jack 'where's lunch?'

Ianto looked nervous and confused.

'It was raining Jack' he said.

'And?' asked Jack not understanding the relevance of the weather.

'I was scared to go out in it' answered Ianto eyes begging Jack to understand.

'Rain won't hurt you Ianto...you must be used to it...you're Welsh!' laughed Jack uneasily, what was wrong with the other man?

'I wasn't afraid of it Jack...I was afraid of what I've done when it has been raining' said Ianto desperately.

'What have you done in the rain Ianto?' asked Jack.

'I don't know...I can't remember...but I feel sure there was rain' answered Ianto in despair.

Jack sighed, this was beyond ridiculous now. He gave Ianto a brief hug and told him to call the others into the conference room whilst he fetched the lunch order. Ianto smiled at him gratefully and left to complete his orders.

When Jack returned twenty minutes later the team were already in the conference room and starting to get annoyed at the wait. Jack hurried up with food to console his colleagues and tried to settle on how to approach their problem.

Lunch was handed out and tempers became less fraught as appetites were appeased.

'I think we need to stop looking for answers...forget the missing days...get on with life' announced Jack as the others were tucking into their food.

'What?!' Owen.

'No way' Gwen.

'Why' Toshiko.

Ianto said nothing just looked at Jack for further clarification.

'Because it's driving us all insane...because it's pointless...because I think whatever happened will be best left uncovered...we obviously needed to forget and went to considerable trouble to ensure we did...let's leave it...please' said Jack.

The rest of the team looked around at each other. They obviously wanted to do so but still had lingering doubts.

'Let's reconnect with who we are' said Jack 'think about some of the experiences that have shaped our lives over decades, not over two days' he added.

'Ok' said Owen 'where do we start...I don't want to relive any awful moments' he warned looking hard at Jack.

Jack swallowed, he had no intention of bringing up incidents like Katie's death, even though those were really the defining moments of a person's life. Everybody in the hub had experiences they would rather forget, or at least not talk about. They needed to focus on something more uplifting, something that would make them all laugh and relax.

Jack gave the matter some thought and then grinned wickedly.

'Owen what is the most embarrassing moment you can remember?' he asked.

The team visibly calmed. Ok they could do this. Talking about life's funny moments would be distracting. They all looked at Owen.

'Getting caught jerking off my best mate in the gym showers at school' said Owen without thought, then looked mortified as he realised he had spoken out loud.

'Oh my God' screamed Gwen 'how old were you?' she asked.

Owen decided it was too late to retract and opted just to laugh at himself for once.

'We were fourteen...a lot of hormones raging helplessly at fourteen' he said laughing.

'Who caught you?' asked Toshiko wiping the tears from her eyes.

'Mr bloody Baxter...miserable sod...his eyes nearly popped out...he retired two months later...I like to think we contributed to improving the quality of teaching staff' giggled Owen.

The others were getting into the mood now.

'I got nettle rash on my arse the first time I had sex' admitted Gwen.

'What were you doing with nettles' asked Ianto a little bemused.

'We weren't using them for anything kinky...we were outside...I thought it would be romantic...in reality it was just cold and uncomfortable'

'And seriously unhygienic' added Ianto.

'I was fifteen...I thought it would be wonderful and like the movies...I was sadly mistaken' laughed Gwen.

'You were fifteen?' asked Ianto in a more shocked tone than he had intended.

At fifteen he had been studying for exams, playing rugby and masturbating nightly, but it had not occurred to him at that age that someone might join him in his daily explorations of the sensations his own body could give him.

'Why?...how old were you when you did it for the first time?' asked Owen a little maliciously, never miss an opportunity to humiliate the teaboy that was his motto.

'I was nineteen' said Ianto determined not to be embarrassed by his apparently late development.

Jack stared at him. Ianto was only twenty four now, not much time to have experienced life before Jack had got hold of him. He felt a sudden qualm about his relationship with the young man.

'Don't tell me...you waited until you were in love...found Miss Right' sneered Owen.

'No' insisted Ianto 'I like to know and trust people I sleep with, but I don't need to be in love with them' he answered earnestly.

'So was it a memorable first time?' asked Gwen curiously.

'Bet you came within minutes' Owen was still determined to sneer at the Welshman.

Ianto smiled good naturedly and joined in the laughter.

'Actually I was so nervous I couldn't come at all...was still going strong half an hour later...got serious dick burn' he laughed.

Jack tried to join in the fun.

'So your other first time was better then?' he asked.

Ianto froze and the others gaped at him. _Not funny then?_ Thought Jack.

Ianto rose and took himself off to the kitchen.

'I'll get drinks' he murmured.

Jack hung his head briefly and then followed Ianto out of the room. He quickly joined him in the kitchen where the young man was making coffees for everyone. Jack moved towards his lover.

'Ianto...I'm sorry...that was a crass remark' he admitted.

'Yes it was' said Ianto quietly.

Jack looked at him and saw Ianto's barely contained fury, this was not good.

'They might not have understood what I meant' offered Jack.

Ianto looked at him incredulously.

'They are not children Jack...of course they understood what you meant'

'Are you ashamed of our relationship Ianto? I mean...I know you haven't been with men before...is it the gay thing?' asked Jack trying to understand what the problem was.

The team hadn't been told about their relationship but that didn't mean they didn't know... it was probably the worst kept secret in history.

'No Jack I'm not ashamed of anything I've done with you' sighed Ianto sagging as he realised how this looked to the older man.

'It's just...those things are personal Jack...laughing about something I did long ago with someone nobody here knows is ok...but this is now...and it's us...it's private' he said.

He turned and faced the other man and came into his arms letting him know the moment was over and he was forgiven.

'Owen is never going to let me forget this' he sighed allowing his head to drop onto Jack's shoulder.

'Well we could give him something to remember' suggested Jack wriggling his hips into Ianto's so their groins grounds together and nibbling his neck.

Ianto leaned away slightly.

'No...I have a much better idea...Owen thinks he's going to be able to embarrass me forever with this... I'm going to have to play him..' said Ianto with a wicked gleam in his eyes.

Jack glanced at his young lover with a worried expression, what exactly was he planning?

The two men carried the batch of coffees back to the conference room. The girls were looking away from them trying to avoid further discussion of a sensitive topic, but Owen still had a nasty gleam in his eye.

'So...you going to tell us about your _firsts_ with Jack?' he asked.

Ianto looked at him with contempt.

'As you are so obviously dying to know Owen...that is a serious case of denial you've got' replied Ianto.

'I don't want to join in your twisted games' sneered Owen.

'But you do want to hear about them rather desperately' observed Ianto.

'You're just chickening out of admitting you and the captain are getting into each other's underwear on a regular basis' sniped Owen.

'I'm not denying anything' responded Ianto adamantly 'would you like to know how wonderful having his cock up my arse feels?...or would you prefer I start with telling you how even more fantastic it feels to have his tongue wriggling about up there?...and I know you're a doctor Owen but I'm willing to bet I could find his prostate before you could...'

Ianto took a stopwatch out of his pocket.

'Care to time each other?' he asked with a grin 'and just so you know...we _never_ use gloves..' he finished.

The two girls were having difficulty suppressing their giggles and Owen was just staring at Ianto open mouthed in astonishment at everything the young man had just said, and in particular the implications behind the last statement. Owen found himself actually fumbling for something to look at that wasn't the two men in question. Jack looked down with a smirk. Ianto had just impressed him beyond all measure, he had outwitted Owen at his own game.

'Harkness....you have created a monster in your own image...that man no longer has any social boundaries' Owen sniped.

'You asked for it Owen' responded Jack complacently.

'Serves you right Owen' Toshiko defended her friend and Ianto smiled at her.

'Enough now children' decided Jack 'Tosh...we've all revealed our embarrassing sexual moments, it's your turn'

Toshiko looked slightly uncomfortable, like Ianto she would probably have preferred not to have these sort of discussions, if only so that Owen would have no ammunition in coming days. But she took a deep breath, deciding that crying off would lead to more teasing than just spitting it out.

'I had a boyfriend once who wanted to try bondage' she blushed.

Jack looked up interested that his quiet co worker had a kinky streak.

'And?' he urged.

'Well neither of us had any experience...so he tied me up and then we didn't know where to go with it..' Toshiko was laughing now remembering how ridiculous the whole thing had been.

'After a few tense minutes..' she spluttered 'he just untied me again' she ended laughing outright.

The team joined in the laughter.

'We were far too naive to know about safe words and role play' she added wiping her eyes 'we split up two weeks later...I don't think either of us could bear the memory' she finished.

Ianto glanced over at Jack and Jack saw interest cross the young man's face. Jack had observed before that his young lover enjoyed being dominated and the raised colour in his cheeks suggested he was thinking about it now. Jack fervently hoped he would not ask for restraints of any kind to be used in their sex life, after his year on the Valiant Jack had lost all sexual interest in ropes or chains of any kind. He liked dominating Ianto, but immobility for either of them would certainly kill all interest Jack had in the scene.

The team continued laughing and sharing for the next few hours until Jack sent them home early with continued admonitions to let go of the lost time and live in the present. Ianto hung back and Jack smiled at him.

'Can I stay for a while?' he asked shyly, he rarely requested anything from Jack and it still felt odd to do so.

'I hoped you would' smiled Jack coming over to his lover and wrapping his arms around him.

'Jaaack?'

'Umm' answered Jack.

'What Tosh was saying earlier' began Ianto 'about being tied up...'

Jack sighed he really didn't want to do this.

'Ianto...I can't do restraints...for either of us...' he started to explain but Ianto stopped him with a finger to his lips.

'I know that Jack...I remember the things you told me about your time away...and I read between the lines about the things you didn't say...I don't want that' he said gently.

Jack sighed with relief, he should have known Ianto would understand him.

'Then what do you want Ianto?' he asked nuzzling into his neck.

'The lost time...I feel sure I did something awful...I want to know that's not possible because you could stop me...I want to feel you're stronger than me...that you could make me do what you say..' stumbled Ianto.

'Ianto we've been over this...whatever happened I know you did not hurt anyone...that's not you' insisted Jack.

'I hurt people for Lisa' mumbled Ianto hanging his head.

'For love Ianto...and not on purpose...you are the last person to intentionally hurt anyone or anything...you are the carer of this group' Jack tried to lighten the mood and smiled at his young lover.

He looked more closely at the young man before him and could not help a small frisson of excitement that ran through him. He couldn't deny to himself that he would enjoy dominating Ianto...forcing him to submit...but this was deeper.

'Ianto we were talking about sex games...things done for fun...for pleasure...and with consenting parties..' he insisted forcibly.

'Those games are to fulfil fantasies not to help with lost memories' he continued.

'I know Jack...but this could do both...make me feel better about the last two days and fulfil a fantasy' Ianto replied a little more cheekily now.

'I like the idea of you being in charge...I love it when you give orders..love watching you know what to do... I trust you...I don't want you to tie me up, or humiliate me...I just want to feel you're stronger than me...making me do it'

Jack listened to Ianto and got more heated at the words, he wanted to do this, some small part of him wanted to hurt Ianto, make him submit. Ianto delivered the words that took all of Jack's remaining control and forced the situation to become highly charged.

'Hold me down and fuck me sir' he whispered in the captain's ear.

Jack growled in the back of his throat and pulled Ianto to him and kissed him hard, gripping his biceps. They broke from the kiss and looked at each other panting. Jack whispered a word in Ianto's ear.

'Remember that word' hissed Jack 'it has the power to stop me at any time' and he ripped Ianto's shirt open and off his shoulders effectively pinning his arms to his side.

Ianto's sharp intake of breath signalled his approval as he attempted to pull out of Jack's embrace.

'No!' shouted Jack pulling him back and biting his neck hard to keep him in place.

Ianto was panting hard, his face flushed with arousal. Jack stopped biting his neck and travelled down his upper body placing small nips all over. Ianto took advantage and despite his arms being tangled in his shirt he pulled away and turned to run.

Jack growled at him and kicked his legs from underneath him, throwing himself on top of the younger man the minute he hit the floor. Jack straddled his hips. He was heavier than Ianto and whilst he sat on the younger man's thighs pinning his lower half, the shirt pinned his top half and Ianto was effectively immobilised.

Jack quickly yanked open both his own and Ianto's trousers. But then the Welshman looked him in the eye with a gleam of triumph, Jack could progress no further until he moved off Ianto's thighs and once he did, Ianto intended to throw him.

Understanding flashed between them in the brief stand-off. Jack laughed a maniacal laugh and in a move that astounded and impressed Ianto he yanked his trousers down to his knees and flipped him onto his front in one swift movement.

Ianto felt the air leave his chest as he smashed into the hard ground, but he became aware of his exposed arse and Jack's weight still on top of him and suddenly felt extremely aroused by the situation. Jack lay on Ianto wriggling his hips to get his own trousers further down panting with arousal and biting again at Ianto's neck.

Ianto's hips were constantly bucking hoping to find a way out. Jack leaned further in to whisper into his ear.

'Stop struggling Ianto...you know you want this...you're hard just thinking about it' he hissed.

Ianto listened to him and became even harder, his cock pushing painfully into the ground. Jack pulled at Ianto's shirt partially ripping it until it came away and Ianto's arms were suddenly free. Ianto took this first opportunity to escape by pushing up with his arms and finding purchase with his knees, slightly dislodging Jack and trying to scramble awkwardly away.

Jack was expecting the move and grabbed an ankle pulling sharply as he shoved Ianto's torn shirt under his hips. Ianto landed with a thump again and was grateful for the shirt, suddenly realising why Jack had pushed it under him, his hard cock now had something more forgiving than concrete to rub against.

It flashed through Ianto's mind that maybe Jack had done this before as he certainly seemed to understand Ianto's needs as well as his own, but then all logical thought left his brain as he felt Jack's erection nudging at his entrance and he gasped.

'No!' he screamed as he felt the slightest tinge of fear and bucked his hips again trying to escape.

Jack grabbed Ianto's wrists and held them tightly at his waist, placing most of his weight on his lower half holding the younger man down.

'Ianto! Be still!' he ordered 'You will do as I say...stop struggling..'

Jack leaned his weight on the younger man's wrists hard enough to hurt, hard enough that Ianto understood he was captive.

Ianto felt his cock harden perceptibly at the tone of Jack's voice and the pain he was inflicting, this is what he had wanted. He wanted Jack to order him, to make him, to be stronger so that he could feel controlled. He let go of all his fear of the last two days. He could not have hurt anybody, Jack would not have allowed it. The mental relief only served to increase his need for sexual relief and he relaxed enough for Jack to know he was ready.

Jack released one of his hands knowing now that Ianto would not struggle too much. He pushed harder at Ianto's entrance needing force as there was no lubrication.

'Ianto...this is going to hurt..' he gasped into his lover's ear.

'I know' answered Ianto 'it's ok'

Jack shoved hard and felt himself enter the young man's body as Ianto cried out in obvious pain but with a hint of enjoyment hidden in the tone. Jack lay his whole weight on the young man and nuzzled his neck as he began to thrust slow and steady. He continued to grip Ianto's wrists hard enough to leave marks and tensed his arms to contain the man below him.

'You will do as I say' he hissed speeding up his thrusts as he felt his body's demands for release build.

Ianto could feel Jack's cock nudging his prostate and his own cock rubbing against the shirt on the floor. He felt Jack holding him down and felt the pressure of his orgasm already coiling into his belly. He did not want Jack to lose the momentum, the drive to hurt, he needed to feel that.

'Jack...harder...make me come' he sobbed.

Jack sped up, his thrusts becoming erratic and grunting with the effort. Ianto came quickly and Jack soon after but he continued to lie mostly on his lover until Ianto had calmed and begun to wriggle a little. He rolled off and pulled the Welshman into his arms placing a soft kiss on his forehead.

'You ok?' he asked.

'Yes...thank you' answered Ianto 'you've done that before?' he added.

'Yes' replied Jack simply.

'Ever done it the other way around?' asked Ianto cheekily.

Jack looked at him.

'Not often' he said softly.

Ianto nodded accepting the refusal.

'I'm not as strong as you anyway...it would never work' he smiled.

Jack leaned up on one elbow to study the man below him and make sure he was really listening to what he wanted to tell him.

'I can't do restraints Ianto...and yes I probably could get away from you without them...but gifting someone control can be just as erotic...I trust you Ianto...I would do as you asked me..or _told_ me' he informed him earnestly.

Ianto thrilled at the words, his body certainly showed interest. He nodded at Jack.

'I like that better' he told him.

Jack stood up and offered a hand to Ianto.

'Come to bed?' he asked him.

'I don't know Jack..maybe I ought to go home' answered Ianto thinking briefly that they were spending too many nights together.

'Ianto...I just hurt you...I know you wanted it but I need to reconnect to you now...come to bed and let me love you' pleaded Jack sadly.

The two men stilled and Ianto barely contained his gasp as the word was said and left hanging in the air between them. He lowered his eyes as he thought about it, quickly deciding that the context in which it had been said made it acceptable. As he looked into his lover's eyes he knew that Jack needed this, and Ianto was finding it ever harder to deny Jack anything. He stood up, took the proffered hand and followed his captain to bed.


	6. Chapter 6

"We....dabble"

'For fucks sake Ianto have you not fixed this heating yet' shouted Owen.

The temperature in the hub was sky high and Ianto had been desperately trying to lower it for the last hour. Tempers were beginning to fray with the heat, especially as no rift activity meant everyone was completing boring paperwork.

'It may have escaped your notice Owen that I am doing my best... I am not a plumber but I am at least attempting to solve the problem instead of just bitching........loudly and often. It's not as if I can call in a British Gas engineer' said an exasperated Ianto.

Ianto was in his shirt sleeves and was hotter than the others as he was the only one doing anything physical. He had been up and down to the lower vaults trying to discover the problem and had a bag of tools open to tweak the pipes he thought were blocked.

Whilst Ianto banged the pipes the girls sat at their workstations trying not to sweat, they were stripped down to t-shirts and Owen was topless.

'I suppose seeing some extra flesh is a decent compensation for feeling like a take away curry in a microwave' smirked Owen and Gwen tutted at him.

Jack popped his head out of his office looking cool and calm.

'Found the problem Ianto?' he asked.

'No!' shouted Ianto, his expression softening slightly as he glanced up at Jack.

He tore his shirt from his body, threw it on the ground and crawled back under the network of pipes. Jack pulled a face at the others, if Ianto was throwing his clothes haphazardly onto the floor then he was really riled.

Jack watched Ianto for a while admiring his lover's body as he got all sweaty, until he noticed Owen smirking at him and he returned to his office and continued to watch on CCTV.

Owen continued to stomp about muttering under his breath and eventually he stood up and stripped off his jeans, shoes and socks.

'Owen!' shouted both the girls.

'What? It's too hot to be pissing about. I'm a doctor and I'm telling you the human body is not meant to withstand temperatures like this' protested Owen.

The girls shrugged, it _was_ stifling.

Ianto stood up from his position on the floor, rolled his eyes at Owen's state of undress then moved his gaze back to the plumbing.

His foot was tapping on the floor and he had his hands on his hips and his eyes were darting about. Jack recognised the signs of a very frustrated Ianto. Ianto was naturally a very contained and controlled man, he was very slow to get annoyed, but woe betide any who were in the way when he blew.

Jack had experienced angry sex with Ianto after he had been annoyed by another member of the team and it was a joy. So, however angry Ianto got with the others, Jack was likely to benefit later and he watched the scene with amusement and anticipation.

'Ianto, could you get a drink from the fridge for me' asked Owen.

Ianto looked at him incredulously.

'Owen! Can you not see that I am busy trying to get the heating problem under control? Are you really unable to fetch a drink for yourself from the fridge which lies approximately 100 yards from your current position?' he demanded angrily.

'Well it is your job mate' Owen was enjoying annoying Ianto, it gave him something to take his mind off the unbearable heat.

'Is it really?' asked Ianto his voice laden with sarcasm.

'Should we ask Jack if it is written into my contract that I should fulfil your every nutritional need? If it is written into my contract that I should scrape about on a filthy floor trying to fix the heating? If it is written into my contract that I should have to listen to your constant whining..?' Ianto was close to losing the little control he had left.

'Owen! Get your own drinks!' shouted Jack seeing that Ianto was coming extremely close to breaking point.

'Oh God this is unbearable' moaned Toshiko.

'Take some clothes off' insisted Owen.

Toshiko shot him a disdainful look but quickly realised it was the only reasonable solution until the heating was fixed. She slipped out of her skirt leaving only a short sleeved shirt that barely covered her arse.

'Well if everyone else is...' muttered Gwen and she stripped off her own jeans and was left in flimsy knickers and a t-shirt that barely made it to her waist.

Jack stood taking in all this flesh that was making an unexpected but very welcome appearance, with a big stupid grin on his face. Ianto saw this, saw him looking at the girls with interest and lingering especially on the vast expanse of flesh that Gwen had uncovered.

Ianto looked over at the two girls and wondered at Jack's choice. He thought Toshiko with her shirt that constantly shifted suggesting the merest possibility of seeing more, was much sexier than the blatant exposure of Gwen's body.

Ianto felt a surge of jealousy. It was ridiculous, Jack had explained his feelings for Gwen and had all but confessed his deeper emotions for himself, but he still felt a desire to claim Jack's complete attention.

He would not give in to such feelings however. He stood up determined to ignore Jack's lecherous looks and get on with the job in hand. He was too hot and his suit was going to be ruined if he kept crawling over the floor in it, but he now stubbornly refused to become any more naked than he already was. He didn't want anyone thinking he was trying to get Jack to look at him, and by _anyone_ he meant Owen.

He strode over to Jack's office and down to his lover's bedroom. There he found the old sweatpants he sometimes wore when he got up in the middle of the night to make food for them both, having quickly discovered he did not enjoy naked excursions around the hub unless it was to play one of the many games Jack enjoyed.

He re-emerged from the office wearing just the sweatpants and continued his work on the heating system. Jack watched him with hungry eyes.

Owen looked over at him.

'Scared of the competition teaboy?' he yelled indicating his own state of undress.

Ianto was still a bundle of barely contained fury and refused to answer.

The whole team lapsed into a sultry silence, tempers still simmering just below the surface. Ianto made frequent excursions form underneath various bits of plumbing to consult schematics on his monitor and old blu prints from the archives.

Eventually, two hours later, a triumphant Ianto emerged with a yell of victory as the thermostat started to fall. Toshiko was the first to approach and hug him.

'Well done Ianto...I knew you could figure it out' she said with admiration, no computer could outwit Toshiko's mind but she appreciated abilities in others that had more practical purposes.

'About bloody time' sniped Owen 'unfortunately I suppose this will mean us all getting dressed again soon...unless we can persuade Jack to have naked days...' he mused.

Ianto did not like the sound of that and knew that Jack would undoubtedly think it a good idea. He chose to ignore Owen's comments and retreated to Jack's office.

'Mind if I take a shower?' he asked the older man.

Jack looked at his young lover. He was sweating and dirty, the sweat pants clinging to him in a very revealing manner. Jack licked his lips and came to join Ianto on the other side of his desk.

'Do you really have to? You look edible just as you are' he smirked.

'Jack...I am filthy...I have God only knows what in my hair...and I thought you were too busy gawping at Gwen to notice' snapped Ianto instantly regretting the comment about Gwen.

Jack had already seen his jealousy of the young woman, Ianto should take more care not to allow it to surface.

Jack smiled at him.

'All that naked flesh and the only person I wanted to see stayed covered up....but you put on those sweat pants just to remind me of the last time you wore them...or rather of what happened just before you wore them...' Jack's eyes glazed slightly thinking of it.

Ianto laughed, he had genuinely forgotten that the last time he wore these trousers had been after a particularly energetic round of naked hide and seek. Jack had found him quickly (cheating of course) and the resultant sex had been aggressive and fun. Ianto had put on the sweatpants to make toast to replenish their energy stores for round two.

Jack kissed him gently on the lips.

'Go have a shower...tonight we are going on a date...my treat for your hard work this morning' he insisted.

TWTWTW

The rest of the day had passed in relative peace. Everybody was dressed by the time Ianto emerged from his shower and the temperature was almost back to normal.

Toshiko was happily losing herself in her computer programmes and devising new ways of updating the technology with the help of alien gadgets, Jack was finishing paperwork with an enthusiasm he rarely gave to the pursuit due to the promise of a date with Ianto later.

Ianto was trying to stay away from Owen's constant sniping about his relationship with Jack. But Owen and Gwen were curious and the lack of real work was just giving them the excuse to torment the young Welshman.

Eventually he escaped to the archives and did not re-emerge until he was sure the others would be gone for the night.

'Ianto!' shouted Jack over the internal comms.

'Yes sir'

'Go home! I am picking you up in two hours...wear something cute!'

Ianto smiled and trudged off happily. Maybe he would allow Jack to pamper him tonight he thought, he deserved it after the day he had endured.

TWTWTW

Jack grabbed the keys to the SUV and left the hub. Ringing on Ianto's doorbell he tapped his foot nervously. Why did he feel nervous? It wasn't as if he and Ianto had never gone on a date before, but Jack knew he wanted to push the relationship a little tonight, he wanted more meaning.

Ianto answered the door looking quizzically at Jack.

'Why didn't you use your key?' he asked.

'Because I'm here to take you on a date and it's more romantic to ask for admittance than to barge in unannounced' responded Jack.

Ianto looked at him trying to understand where Jack was going with this.

'Ok' he said 'would you like to come in, or should we go straight out?'

Jack took Ianto's hand in his.

'Let's go out' he said.

The restaurant was very busy, full of young and good looking people. The waiters were all hot and in tight trousers. The waiter for their table flirted outrageously with Jack. Jack ignored it all and Ianto was amazed and flattered in equal measure.

However when the waiter gave up on a response from Jack and turned his attention instead to Ianto, Jack did react. He actually growled at him. Both the waiter and Ianto looked at him incredulously, but the waiter understood an implied threat when he heard one and quickly retreated.

Jack was being so attentive that Ianto was becoming a little concerned. What exactly was he after?

'Tell me about your childhood Ianto' said Jack.

Ianto smiled at him.

'I've already told you. Very boring, very ordinary, school, family, friends, college... all ordinary. There was nothing exciting or worth talking about... until my dad died' finished Ianto quietly.

Jack leaned across the table and held Ianto's hands.

'Tell me about him, about how you felt when you lost him' asked Jack.

'No Jack' exclaimed Ianto removing his hands from the other man's.

'..Why? It hurt...it still hurts, what else is there to say?' said Ianto trying to halt the direction of the conversation.

'I want you to tell me your feelings...if not those..I'm sorry I shouldn't have bought up old hurts..tell me how you feel about us...about me' pleaded Jack.

Jack was begging for some connection, how could he get through to Ianto? Their relationship had at first been purely physical but it was much more than that now, at least it was for Jack.

Ianto looked away in confusion he didn't want to talk about these things, didn't want to think about them, if he didn't admit to his feelings then he couldn't be hurt again.

'I like you Jack... we have fun... isn't that enough? I don't want to hurt again... everybody I love dies' he whispered.

Jack stared at the younger man, he thought he knew that Ianto loved him, maybe he should not force the issue, but he wanted him to move the relationship forward.

'I _can't_ die Ianto..you can love me' he pleaded.

'You can leave me Jack..you have left me' Ianto shrugged 'if I don't contain the hurt it might overwhelm me' he tried to explain.

Jack leaned forward and captured Ianto's lips in a kiss, causing Ianto to look around in alarm in case they were observed.

'I won't leave again..I promise' he said.

Ianto just looked at him and then looked away, he was not ready to trust that completely, maybe he never would be.

'What do you want from me Jack?' Ianto asked in confusion.

'I want you to tell me you love me' announced Jack.

He watched the fear cross Ianto's face and leaned forward.

'I know that's not going to happen Ianto...I just want some indication that I mean something to you...something more than a quick fuck'

Ianto smiled.

'It's rarely quick Jack' he laughed.

Jack smiled back at him.

'How can I show you?' asked Ianto.

'Dance with me at Gwen's wedding' said Jack.

'You are such a girl Harkness' laughed Ianto.

'Will you?' asked Jack.

Ianto frowned.

'I don't know Jack...won't it be a bit weird...two men dancing?'

'You are so 21st century' insisted Jack.

'There will be people we don't know...they'll see us...they'll think we're together' said Ianto still trying to understand why the thought made him uncomfortable.

'Well they would think right' announced Jack 'why does it bother you?'

Ianto tried to make sense of it.

'But dancing Jack...' he feebly protested.

'Would you have danced with Lisa?'

Jack knew it was probably a mistake to mention Lisa but the question was out before he could bite it back. Ianto looked at him fiercely.

'There are lots of things I did with Lisa that I haven't done with you' he snarled.

Jack could feel the irritation behind Ianto's words but still could not resist asking.

'Such as...?'

Jack watched many emotions wash over his lover's face, almost as if he was deciding which part of his previous life he wanted to share. He suddenly appeared to have come to a decision as he leaned in towards Jack and whispered in his ear.

'I've never fucked you'

If he had not schooled his emotional responses over many years Jack knew he would have blushed at Ianto's words. Not from the implication but just because it was Ianto saying it, in a crowded restaurant. He determined not to allow the younger man to see how astonished he was.

'You could have that' he replied softly.

Ianto looked surprised and then lust swam briefly across his features. He looked down at the tablecloth not knowing quite how to reply.

'We'll see....Oh God....about the dance I mean....not about..'Ianto stumbled over his words.

Jack smiled to himself. He may not have forced Ianto to talk about his feelings but he had certainly learnt something about the young man.

'If you don't dance with me I may have to dance with Gwen instead' devilry prompted him to say'

Ianto looked at him harshly.

'Don't threaten me Jack...it won't get you there any faster' he demanded.

Jack looked down slightly ashamed.

'I didn't mean....I'm sorry...I wasn't trying..' Jack stumbled.

He looked at his lover earnestly.

'Ianto...I just want to dance at the wedding....weddings are hard for me...celebrating love and lifetimes together...it's something I can never have...just for one dance I'd like to pretend' he admitted sadly.

Ianto took his hand. He felt self conscious doing so in public and Jack appreciated the gesture.

'I'll try' he promised.

Jack leant back in his chair. He knew if he could make Ianto express his feelings out loud the young man would live again, he was so fragile and Jack wanted so desperately to take care of him.

'Stop thinking so much and let's have some fun' said Ianto.

Jack accepted tonight would not be the time to demand more than Ianto had already given.


	7. Chapter 7

"Ianto, we need answers"

Jack watched his team trying to get on with their work. Martha was still here, she had more tests to perform on Owen. She would be leaving soon and they would all be sorry to see her go. Once she left everything would return to normal...except it could never be normal again.

Jack watched Ianto walk across the hub and sit at his monitor to complete paperwork and his heart ached with the need to hold him. He knew that would not be happening any time soon, Ianto was livid with him. Jack remembered their last conversation.

_Ianto stood across from him with his hands on his hips._

'_Why do you even care? Owen is always giving you grief...you don't even like each other' pleaded Jack._

'_Owen and I are very different people...but he is still my friend...we've hurt each other and we've saved each other...when you left me he was still here...ok he was sniping at me but at least he was here' hissed Ianto._

_Jack looked down feeling the familiar guilt when Ianto referred to his time away._

'_He was the one who picked me up off the floor of your office when I was crying...he was the one who took me out drinking that night... he was the one who listened to me being pathetic because I missed you and wanted you so badly...who took me home and put me to bed when I all but passed out'_

_Ianto took a deep breath, Jack was never supposed to know how badly he had been affected by his disappearance but he couldn't stop talking._

'_He was the one who was still there in the morning...who made me tea and toast and took me to work...and never..' Ianto's breath caught._

'_Never once has he mentioned that night...no sniping...no digs...nothing...except when you came back and he pulled me to one side and warned me to be careful...Oh God ..he actually hugged me...I'll never really understand him, but he's my friend and I'll never forget that...' Ianto stopped to take a deep breath._

'_How could you Jack? How could you be so selfish?' he shouted._

_Jack slumped into a chair, not knowing how to answer._

'_I think that was the single most self centred action I have ever seen' Ianto continued 'you've taken everything that was important to Owen away'_

'_I gave him back his life' Jack retaliated._

'_Do you think he wants it?' screamed Ianto._

'_I tried to do the right thing' said Jack dejectedly._

'_For you!' yelled Ianto 'You didn't want to lose anyone else. You didn't want to be responsible for another death. You didn't want another person to have what you can never experience'_

_Jack lowered his eyes, he felt ashamed as Ianto showed him his actions for what they were. Ianto came and stood over him._

'_Owen's only joys in life were physical...food, drinking, sex...you took all that away and expect him to be grateful' he said._

'_I didn't realise....I didn't know he would come back for good...I wanted to say goodbye...I wanted to see him again...' pleaded Jack._

'_Yes Jack....you wanted' said Ianto sadly._

_Ianto sighed in defeat. He knew there was no point in being angry once a thing was done. The fact could not be altered and Jack already obviously felt guilty. He had one last thing to say._

'_Jack...when I die...promise you won't do this to me...promise you'll let me go' he begged._

_A sob caught in Jack's throat. As hard as Owen's death had been he knew Ianto's would be infinitely worse. He had suffered the loss of loved ones many times over his lifetime and it never got easier. The thought of losing Ianto made his breath catch and he fought down the urge to vomit._

'_Jack!....promise..' insisted Ianto._

'_I promise' Jack whispered._

_Ianto turned and left without a backward glance._

Jack and Ianto had barely spoken since and Jack was desperate to be forgiven. He knew he didn't deserve it but the guilt was eating him up and he wanted, no he _needed _Ianto.

Jack sighed, this was all his fault. He had bought Owen back because he couldn't bear to lose him, because he felt guilty for putting him in a dangerous situation, because he didn't want to feel the pain of loss again. His selfish actions had left Owen suffering a living death.

Everybody was winding down their work. Jack could see Toshiko watching Owen out of the corner of her eye. He was responsible for this new sadness of Toshiko's also. She and Owen had just started to develop a closer relationship and now Jack's actions had ruined any hopes she might have had. Jack had even taken some of the gloss from Gwen's wedding, how could she enjoy her day with the knowledge that one of her friends was suffering so badly.

Ianto had always been the one that had seen Jack for the flawed human being he was, it was one of the many things Jack loved about him. Ianto did not see the hero that Gwen saw, or the saviour that Toshiko saw, or even the missing father figure that Owen didn't realise he wanted. Ianto saw him for who he was and still cared, still understood. Would the young man be able to understand his latest mistake? Would he still be able to care?

As Ianto had realised the implications behind Jack's actions Jack had watched disappointment wash across the young man's face. Ianto had swallowed his disappointment quickly enough but then had come his anger. Jack had never seen emotion like it. Ianto's anger was buried deep but was potent. It burned behind his eyes, and was displayed in the way he held himself. Every atom in his body screamed at Jack, but his lips said nothing. Jack had wished Ianto would shout at him, hit him, anything but that contained anger.

Then Ianto had shouted and his anger was terrible to behold. But it was as nothing to this quiet refusal to talk on a personal level. Oh Ianto still did his work, he still bought Jack coffee, still helped him with the paperwork, but he walked away from anything more intimate.

Ianto came into his office to collect his mug.

'Is there anything else you would like me to do sir?' he asked.

'Yes' said Jack.

Ianto raised his eyebrows at him in question.

'I would like you to call me Jack, I would like you to give me a hug, I would like you to say you forgive me' begged Jack.

'I do forgive you Jack' said Ianto with a small smile.

'Well that's two out of three' said Jack coming over to Ianto and slipping his arms about his waist.

For a brief moment Ianto relaxed into the embrace, he missed this more than anything else but he was still adjusting. He quickly straightened up and with a sad glance back at Jack he left the office.

Jack breathed deeply and swallowed his tears. He missed Ianto very much. He missed the sex but he was surprised to find he missed Ianto himself more. He missed the hugs, the talking, the laughs, the closeness, it was a physical ache. He knew, or thought he knew it would all come back but he so desperately needed the comfort now.

Ianto had told the truth, he had forgiven Jack, he knew why Jack had bought Owen back. He knew he was looking for comfort, for a relief from the pain he suffered seeing everyone he loved die. Jack was right about Ianto, he didn't see Jack as a hero, he saw how very human he was and how much more than human he was.

Jack joined the team on the main floor and caught hold of Ianto's wrists before he could move away.

'Stay with me tonight?' he asked 'please'

Ianto looked at him and nodded. Jack breathed a sigh of relief and they continued with their work.

TWTWTW

They had returned to Jack's house as the hub was not a happy place at the moment. Jack had been quiet the whole journey and Ianto could tell he was becoming increasingly despondent. They entered the house and Ianto offered to make them drinks. Jack merely nodded and sat on his sofa whilst his young lover moved towards the kitchen.

When Ianto returned to the lounge he found Jack sitting where he had left him with tears running down his face. He placed their drinks carefully on the coffee table and crouched in front of the captain.

'Oh Jack' he exclaimed placing his arms around the older man.

'What have I done Ianto?' sobbed Jack.

'Something stupid....welcome to my world' smiled Ianto trying to lighten the captain's mood.

Jack continued to weep. He couldn't stop the tears flowing and his breath hitched occasionally with the effort to contain the sobs. Ianto made a decision.

'Come on' he said pulling the other man to his feet.

Jack allowed himself to be manipulated upstairs. Ianto wanted to give comfort, he wanted them to curl up together and grieve.

He undressed Jack. Taking his time to slowly unbutton his shirt, sitting him down to remove his shoes and socks and pulling him to his feet again to remove his trousers. Jack merely stood and allowed Ianto to treat him like a child, urging him under the covers once he was naked. Ianto quickly divested himself of his own clothes, got into bed beside his lover and pulled him into an embrace.

Jack was quietly mumbling 'I'm sorry...I'm sorry' under his breath.

Ianto stroked his face and kissed him gently.

'It's ok...it's ok' he whispered.

Jack crawled further into Ianto's arms and nuzzled his neck taking comfort in his closeness.

'It's ok Jack...it's over now' said Ianto softly.

Both men felt erections growing with skin rubbing together and the intimacy of the situation. Ianto rolled Jack onto his back and climbed on top of him. In this position he could ensure their cocks rubbed together between their stomachs giving much needed friction whilst his hands could continue to give comfort by stroking his face and neck.

This was not about sex, it was about comfort and forgiveness. The two men reconnected physically and mentally. Ianto constantly but gently ground their erections by pushing his hips forwards and backwards, rocking in the familiar rhythm.

Neither man attempted anything more adventurous. They continually kissed and nuzzled and Ianto constantly whispered endearments, telling Jack everything would be alright now.

'It's ok Jack...I've got you now....everything is going to be alright'

Ianto's hips began to move faster but still gently.

'You're safe now Jack...it's ok...I'm here with you'

Ianto could feel his own orgasm building and knew Jack was close too. It was the need for relief and comfort that was inducing pleasure from so little effort. Ianto's hips began to thrust erratically now and he needed Jack to find his release before he could.

'It's ok Jack...let go...I'm here to hold you...let go' he whispered.

He felt Jack tense and push his own hips slightly as he came with a soft grunt and Ianto followed soon afterwards still rocking against Jack and whispering encouragement. Neither man had felt the usual explosion of pleasure, just a soft completion to the need to be together.

Ianto lay on top of his lover for a while, breathing heavily and kissing his neck. He eventually rolled off to lie at Jack's side and hold on to him tightly.

'Are you ok?' Ianto asked him 'I really didn't mean for this to end in sex...I knew you needed some comfort....maybe I took it too far...I'm sorry'

Jack smiled down at his young lover.

'Are you seriously apologising for having sex with me?' he asked.

Ianto grimaced slightly.

'I just wasn't sure it was what you wanted...I mean...I was trying to comfort you' answered Ianto a little confused.

'Anyway...this wasn't sex' said Jack with determination.

Ianto laughed.

'There is a sticky mess between the two of us that begs to differ' he said.

Jack became serious.

'I know it was meant to be comfort Ianto...but we're both adults and sometimes comfort can be found in different ways'

He turned over to look at Ianto properly.

'Ianto...when I was a child and my brother or I hurt ourselves my mom would cuddle up to us...she would tell us to let go of the hurt and allow her love to make us better'

Ianto watched the older man wondering where he was going with this train of thought but interested to hear about his childhood, Jack didn't often share.

'What you just did...it wasn't sex...you loved me better' Jack finished.

Ianto looked at him, looked at the pain, the guilt and the hope on his lover's face. He wanted to deny what Jack had said because it was too close to being more than he was comfortable with admitting.

Jack was continually pushing Ianto forward in this relationship, continually undermining his barriers. But he watched all the emotions cross Jack's face and decided that labelling an act was not the same as a declaration. Eventually he responded softly.

'Yeah...I loved you better'


	8. Chapter 8

"It's not like that...me and Jack"

Gwen stormed into the hub muttering under her breath, she threw herself into her seat and slumped forward over her desk. Owen looked over at Ianto and rolled his eyes.

'Trouble in paradise?' he asked.

'Fuck off Owen' retorted Gwen.

Ianto took himself off to prepare consolatory drinks and Toshiko suddenly became very busy with her computer, it was always best to be busy when Gwen and Owen began a fight.

'Nice mouth Gwen' sniggered Owen as he retreated into the med lab.

Ianto took Gwen a cup of the herbal tea she had recently taken to drinking and which Ianto privately thought was a mix of used dishwater and cat urine. However he had steeled himself to create the concoction and tried not to breathe in the aroma as he took it to her.

Gwen looked up at him and attempted a smile.

'Thank you Ianto' she said.

Ianto smiled at her and made to move away but she stopped him with a hand on his arm.

'Ianto, can I ask you something?'

'Of course' he replied.

'In the archives...is there any instance of a Torchwood operative having children?' she asked.

Ah, thought Ianto to himself, so that is the problem. He quickly traversed his memory banks.

'No Gwen' he said apologetically 'in fact you will be the first operative to be married.'

'Oh' Gwen's face fell.

Of course she knew it was ridiculous, she kept telling Rhys it was ridiculous but he wouldn't listen. Rhys wanted a normal life and thought she should be willing to sacrifice her job to give it to him.

Gwen wasn't sure she loved him enough to do that, and she felt very guilty. Guilty that she didn't love him enough to make this sacrifice. Guilty that she would marry him knowing he would want what she wouldn't give to him.

'There is always a first time' said Ianto 'first to be married, first to have a child'

Gwen looked at him.

'You don't really believe that do you?' she asked.

'No' he said sadly, 'I believe you have to make a choice, and I'm sorry for it.'

Gwen gazed at him thoughtfully.

'Have you made your choice Ianto?' she asked quietly.

Ianto's hands clenched briefly into fists and he took a deep calming breath.

'No' he answered softly 'not yet'

They smiled grimly at each other, and Ianto carried on his journey taking a drink to Toshiko.

Jack watched the scene from his office. He didn't want to lose Gwen, Torchwood needed her skills and it would be a pain to replace her. But he was the one who told her to hold onto her life, she bought a degree of normality to the hub. Maybe he should encourage her to let go of Torchwood and commit fully to Rhys. Or maybe he was just dreaming of what he wanted Ianto to do...commit fully to him. He sighed and turned away, he was beginning to wonder if Ianto would ever make his decision.

As Ianto reached the med lab with Owen's coffee he guiltily remembered that the dead man could no longer drink. He quickly started a conversation about Gwen's dilemma and drank the coffee himself. Owen looked up at him.

'That was for me wasn't it?' he asked.

Ianto looked down.

'Yes..sorry..I forgot' he said.

Owen smiled.

'It's ok Ianto, I like it that you forget sometimes, makes me feel normal.'

'You've never been normal Owen' said Ianto and the two men laughed together.

'So...' said Owen fidgeting.

Ianto looked at him. Something was eating at Owen and Ianto knew he would be the butt of it. He rolled his eyes at the medic.

'What is it Owen?...You obviously have something you want to have a go at me about...might as well get it over with' he sighed.

Owen shuffled again.

'I don't want to have a go Ianto...I just wondered..'

Ianto raised his eyebrows at him in question.

'What I said about you and Jack shagging' began Owen.

Ianto instantly became defensive and Owen looked up at him from under his eyelashes.

'If it's _not like that_..' said Owen 'then what is it like?...what are you two doing?...is it love?' he asked.

'No!' insisted Ianto fiercely 'I mean...I don't know what it is...do we have to label it?' he mumbled beginning to get confused.

Owen looked at him with malice in his eyes.

'Come on Ianto...I can't do it anymore...the least you could do is talk to me about it' he sneered.

Ianto made to walk away without saying anything. Owen reached out a hand and grabbed his arm.

'Ianto!...I'm sorry...feeling miserable and wanting to take someone with me' he explained with a rueful smile.

'You and Jack are ok though?' he continued.

Ianto looked at him and saw genuine concern in his expression.

'Yeah....we're ok' he said.

Owen nodded at him. Just as Ianto was about to leave he heard more from Owen, almost too quiet to catch.

'Ianto...you might not want to label it...but I'll never have the chance' he whispered.

'Grab it and hold on tight...don't be afraid' he finished.

Ianto felt tears form behind his eyes for all the things Owen would never have and looked away quickly to prevent the ribbing he knew would result if Owen saw them. He left abruptly.

He went to the archives where he could think in peace and wonder yet again what label he should put on his relationship with Jack. There was no use denying he was already in deeper than he wanted to be.

He began to remember his last sexual encounter with Jack. It had been wonderful, erotic and pleasurable beyond Ianto's dreams. He felt they had taken another step in intimacy and he was uncertain how he felt about that. He was constantly feeling as if he were falling for Jack, no matter how hard he tried to cling to casual. Would he soon have to face being in love again?

He sat at the desk he had placed in the archives so that he could be comfortable when sorting his files and allowed his mind to wander.

_TWTW_

_Ianto had finished his paperwork and joined Jack in his bedroom._

_Jack looked up at his lover._

'_Stay and help me to let off some steam?' he asked with a cheeky grin._

_Ianto laughed._

'_Maybe' he answered, sitting next to Jack on the bed and kissing him softly._

'_Only maybe?...how can I make it definitely?' Jack asked with a raised eyebrow._

_Ianto bit his lip and Jack looked at him earnestly. He had thought Ianto was just playing but the younger man obviously had something on his mind...something he wanted._

'_Ianto?' he questioned 'what is it?'_

_Ianto appeared to come to a decision._

'_Jack...you know how we..' and he indicated the bed._

_Jack laughed._

'_Yes Ianto. I know how we....' he gave the same gesture._

_Ianto gave him a small half smile._

_Well...we always...and you always...oh God' he stumbled unable to find the words to frame his request._

_Jack had quickly realised what Ianto was trying to say._

'_Ianto?' he said 'do you want to fuck me?'_

_Ianto looked up at him slightly shyly._

'_Yeah' he said softly 'would you be ok with that?'_

'_Yes' said Jack simply 'I said you could have that and I meant it...there' something you should know though' he continued._

_Ianto raised his eyebrows at him in question. Jack swallowed before talking, trying to frame what he would say in his mind._

'_It's been a long time since I did things that way around' he explained._

_Ianto was surprised, of all the things he had thought Jack would say this had not figured._

'_How long?' he asked._

_Jack watched his face for his reaction._

'_About eighteen years' he said._

_Ianto gasped._

'_Why?...I mean...if you don't like it that's ok...what you've never had you never miss right?...I'll live without it...I don't mind...it's not a big deal' he stumbled._

_Jack pressed a finger to his lips._

'_I want to do it Ianto...and I do enjoy it...it's just been a long time because...well because there have been women...and then men who didn't want....' Jack gestured wildly with his hands._

'_I don't want to put you off...I just needed you to know it's been a long time...you may need to be careful' he finished._

'_I have no desire to hurt you Jack' said Ianto defensively._

_Jack looked at him in concern._

'_But you do have a desire to __**be**__ hurt sometimes Ianto...I see that in you...I like that in you' continued Jack half ashamed to admit his desires._

_Ianto reddened slightly in acknowledgment of the truth that he sometimes enjoyed pain._

'_You said you would gift me control' he said 'I'd like that...but I won't hurt you...and I'll stop anytime you ask' he whispered._

_Jack swallowed hard and stood up. He opened his arms and presented himself to his young lover._

'_A gift Ianto' he said 'all yours'_

_Ianto felt the first wave of sheer lust wash over him. He knew tonight would be his opportunity to fulfil the dreams about Jack that he had experienced almost from their first meeting. He felt slightly nervous and shook himself inwardly, looking at his lover and realising there was no need for nerves._

_He stepped forward and pulled Jack into a kiss, slow and soft just as he wanted it. He had told Jack the truth, he had no desire to hurt. He wanted to take his time, enjoy and give pleasure._

_He pulled back from the kiss and began to unbutton Jack's shirt. Jack tried to return the favour but Ianto took his hands and placed them back at his sides. If he was in control he wanted to feel it, and he wanted Jack to know it. Jack raised an eyebrow in surprise but allowed Ianto to do things his way._

_Ianto slipped Jack's shirt and undershirt off and kissed down his neck and across his chest. He stopped and looked up at Jack, holding his gaze he began to remove his trousers. _

'_Ianto' began Jack._

_But Ianto placed his fingers over Jack's lips and shook his head slightly, he didn't want Jack to talk. Jack merely nodded slightly indicating his acquiescence. _

_Once Jack was dressed only in his underwear Ianto stepped back slightly to look at him. In the silence Jack felt himself to be under Ianto's control and he admired his lover's ingenuity. It held him under his spell without any form of restraint._

_Ianto leant forward to whisper in Jack's ear._

'_Put your coat on and lay down' he ordered._

_Jack felt a thrill wash through him. Whoever would have thought this young Welshman could be so kinky? Ianto watched the captain put on his coat and lay on the bed, the heavy garment all but covering him entirely._

_Ianto looked at Jack, recumbent and silently waiting and he licked his lips in anticipation. Slowly, never taking his eyes from Jack he undressed until he was naked, his erection jutting obscenely upwards. _

_He stepped over to the bed and straddled Jack's legs, leaning down over the captain until his bare torso was touching the coat the other man was wearing. He kissed him gently and teased his tongue into Jack's mouth. He could feel Jack's erection pressing into his bare arse through his underwear and the heavy fabric of the coat and he squirmed, grinding himself down onto it._

_Ianto stroked Jack's coat, looking at it continuously whilst his hips rocked to and fro over Jack's groin. Jack reached his hands to Ianto's arms and clutched at him his eyes glazed with lust. Ianto shook his head and removed his hands and placed them back on the bed. He circled Jack's wrists briefly with his fingers and pressed them into the mattress. Jack nodded his understanding, he would not move again._

_Ianto nuzzled at Jack's neck and suddenly ripped open the coat just enough to have access to Jack's shoulders and upper chest. Jack's breath caught at the sudden movement. Ianto took his time kissing and biting all the skin now on display clutching the coat in one hand. _

_He shuffled down slightly and pushed the coat open more, biting and licking down across the skin of Jack's abdomen. Ianto wriggled further down to straddle Jack's thighs and his head continued its downward travels until his face was level with Jack's underwear clad groin._

_Ianto tongued and then nibbled Jack's straining erection through the cloth. Jack still lay perfectly still trying not to make a sound and not to move. He wanted Ianto to enjoy this in his own way and he was finding the restriction frustrating but very erotic. Only soft moans of pleasure escaped his throat._

_Jack had difficulty keeping his groans inside. His breath was coming fast. If he was honest he was a little apprehensive, it had been a long time since someone had fucked him and he knew it would hurt no matter how considerate Ianto was. The anticipation was unbearable and Ianto seemed determined to take his time._

_Jack's underwear was wet where Ianto had been licking his erection and his warm breath was driving Jack wild. He bought his hands up to Ianto's head and stroked his hair, pulling it a little in encouragement. But Ianto took his hands again and placed them back on the bed at his side, circling his wrists with his fingers and holding them down briefly whilst looking Jack in the eyes. Jack understood and took a deep breath and nodded slightly at Ianto to accept and submit._

_Ianto pulled Jack's underwear down just enough to expose his cock and balls. To Ianto this was more erotic than nudity would be. It suggested something forbidden and indecent and was intended to be uncomfortable for Jack in that he would find it slightly degrading. Being naked was one thing but being exposed in this way was completely different and Ianto wanted Jack to feel that hint of submission that the position would give him. He had no desire to hurt or humiliate, but he wanted to be in control of the situation._

_Ianto nibbled and licked again all around Jack's cock, sucking his balls one by one deep into his mouth and laving his tongue all over them. Jack's body was rigid on the bed in pleasure and anticipation. He was panting and gasping as Ianto continued his work. His cock straining and leaking pre come, his balls tightening. Just as Jack thought he would have to warn Ianto to stop or risk his orgasm appearing before the main feature, Ianto sensed his lover's threshold and drew back._

_He sat up and looked down on Jack. Jack was aware of his gaze and felt anew his position on the bed, with his coat open and his underwear down to expose his most private parts. It was beyond erotic allowing Ianto to treat him in this way and he watched the desire on the young man's face and allowed it to feed his own pleasure._

_Ianto briefly got off Jack and removed his underwear then knelt between his legs and took in the sight of his captain. Naked apart from the coat and spread out awaiting his pleasure. He started to stroke up Jack's legs and over his stomach up to his chest to play with his nipples. He lay down on top of the other man and rocked his hips whilst nibbling his neck. His breathing was becoming laboured now as his excitement built._

_Ianto listened to his lover as he gasped for breath and wriggled underneath him. God he was having difficulty containing himself, this was such a turn on. He so desperately wanted to fuck Jack and if he wasn't careful this would be over before he could._

_He sat back carefully between Jack's legs and looked his full again. Then slowly he lifted the other man's legs and pushed them open at the knees and right back. He looked wanton and obscene, displayed like this for his lover. Jack lay there completely exposed and vulnerable allowing Ianto to position him as he wanted. Ianto's breath hitched again in anticipation of claiming the other man completely._

_Ianto picked up the tube of lube and spread some over his fingers wiggling them between Jack's arse cheeks as he searched for his entrance. He had done this many times, teasing Jack's prostate as he sucked him off, it was familiar territory._

_He leant down and licked from the base to the end of the other man's shaft as his fingers reached their goal and Jack bucked into the touch._

'_Ianto' he whispered._

'_Relax Jack...enjoy it' whispered Ianto back._

_Ianto wanted Jack as relaxed as possible. Knowing it had been so long for Jack was making him slightly nervous, after all he had never done this before and he had no desire to hurt the man below him._

_He sucked hard on the tip of Jack's cock as his fingers nudged his prostate and Jack gasped. He continued to make little moans, grunts and gasps and Ianto listened to it all and revelled in the stabs of pleasure it sent to his groin._

'_Please Ianto...I don't want to come until you're inside me'_

_Ianto gulped, but he stopped sucking and lubed up his cock. He had enjoyed manipulating the situation and doing exactly as he wanted too, but he suddenly felt nervous and unsure. He positioned himself at Jack's entrance but then just stopped and looked at his lover. _

_Jack recognised the moment Ianto's confidence wavered. He was new to this and was nervous of causing pain. The thrill of the new experience had given way to fear. Jack grasped his lover's hand and tried to pass some reassurance to him._

'_It's ok Ianto...just push' he whispered._

_Ianto pushed and was suddenly encased in his lover. He looked into Jack's eyes._

'_Jesus Jack that is tight...no wonder you like this' he gasped._

_Jack laughed and Ianto drew in a sharp breath as Jack's muscles tightened around him._

'_We are doing it this way again' he panted._

_But, as he struggled to contain his urge to thrust, he remembered what Jack had told him._

'_Jack...does it hurt?...are you ok?' he breathed._

'_I'm ok Ianto...it's a good hurt...I want it' gasped Jack._

_Jack curled his legs around Ianto's waist and drew him closer and deeper inside himself. Ianto began to rock his hips unable to contain the urge and both men's breathing became ragged._

'_Jack...it's so tight...I won't be able to hold on long...I'm sorry' panted Ianto._

'_It's ok...I'm right with you' breathed Jack with a half smile as he tried to contain his pleasure._

_Ianto regained a modicum of control and looked down upon his lover once more as he rocked his hips slowly, biting his lip with concentration._

_He took the hand that Jack still had twisted with his own and placed it on Jack's own cock. Jack grasped himself and began to stroke in time with Ianto's thrusts._

_Watching him only heightened Ianto's pleasure and he began to thrust in earnest._

'_That's it Jack...make yourself come...make yourself come on your coat as I fuck you' said Ianto harshly._

_Ianto was thrusting erratically hips whipping faster and harder. He watched avidly as Jack's hand pulled on his cock quickly and his face tensed and back arched as he neared orgasm._

_Jack's eyes closed as he sought to control his pleasure but then Ianto's cock nudged his prostate once more and with a strangled cry he reached his release._

_Ianto lost all semblance of control._

'_Oh God...oh God...arrh' he was unaware of the incoherent nonsense falling from his lips._

_Ianto watched thick white ropes of Jack's come hit the coat and whipped his hips faster as his own orgasm hit and he screamed in pleasure._

_Ianto lay on top of Jack exhausted. One of his hands still clutched Jack's coat and his head was buried in Jack's neck as he fought to gain control over his breathing. Jack turned his head and kissed Ianto on the cheek. Ianto rolled off his lover and they looked at each other._

'_Did I hurt you Jack?...Was it ok?' asked Ianto concerned again now that the pleasure was receding. _

'_Ianto it was great..stop worrying' replied a sated Jack._

'_But you're not hurt?' asked Ianto still concerned._

_Jack took the younger man's hand in his._

'_No I'm not hurt...it was wonderful...something I've not had for a long time...thank you'_

_The two men smiled at each other, then Jack grinned wickedly._

'_So....my coat?' he said._

_Ianto looked down embarrassed and not knowing what to say._

'_You are the kinkiest Welshman I've ever met....and so proper on the outside' continued Jack enjoying the younger man's embarrassment._

_Ianto risked looking up at his lover, saw the huge grin on his face and smacked him playfully on the arse._

'_I take it you don't mind then?' he laughed._

'_If it gets me sex like that I don't care what you want me to wear' smiled Jack._

_Ianto smiled back at him._

'_That coat has played a large part in my fantasies since we first met...even before I thought of you in terms of attraction' he said._

_Ianto looked down again as he made a final confession._

'_When I saw your come hit it...I've never had a surge of adrenalin fuelled pleasure like it...I wanted to explode' he whispered._

_Jack laughed outright._

'_Oh you and I are going to have such fun together' he said._

_Ianto laughed with him._

'_Of course it's going to need cleaning now' added Jack._

'_Oh I know a very discreet place' sniggered Ianto._

'_Thank God...I can't imagine what Owen would have to say if he saw this mess' replied Jack, then laughed again as he registered the look of absolute horror on Ianto's face._

TWTWT

Ianto shook himself as he sat at his desk. Reliving the moment was not a good idea if he would have to return to the main hub soon. His very obvious erection would give cause for comment by Owen at least. He began work.

A few hours later Ianto was called back to the main hub after Toshiko had intercepted calls to the local police force of what looked like a Weevil attack. Gwen, Ianto and Jack left to investigate. Jack would not allow Owen to be put in a situation where he might sustain unnecessary damage that would not heal. He asked Toshiko to stay and relay co-ordinates, but they both knew he was really asking her to stay and keep Owen company and out of trouble.

Toshiko spoke to her teammates via the comm link to update them on the latest sighting and then went to the med lab to speak to Owen.

Owen looked up at her in annoyance. He knew he had been left behind because his condition made him a liability on missions. He understood but that did not stop him feeling frustrated.

'You on babysitting duty Tosh?' he sniped.

Toshiko looked down.

'It's not like that Owen' she said.

'Oh come on Tosh...it's exactly like that...I don't know what I'm doing here...I'm no use' he said deciding to use the opportunity to wallow in a little self pity.

Toshiko tutted loudly at him.

'You know full well Torchwood could not operate properly without a medic...and you're always telling us how good you are...I can't imagine a small matter of death has stopped you being brilliant!' she snarled.

Owen looked up at her, Toshiko rarely let her annoyance with anyone show and it made him smile.

'No you're right Tosh...even in death I _am_ brilliant' he laughed.

Toshiko smiled and the tension broke. Owen left the lab and came to join her in the main hub.

'How long do you think the others will be gone?' he asked.

'Well it shouldn't take them long to find and subdue the Weevil...but it's a thirty minute drive away...the furthest we've had for Weevil sightings...so they'll be another hour or so' she replied.

'So what should we do while we wait for them to get back?' she added.

'Strip poker?' tried Owen and Toshiko tutted.

'You really are no fun at all Tosh, even Ianto would be more fun to be babysat by' sniped Owen suddenly annoyed again at the situation and enforced lack of activity.

'Well I'd rather be here with Ianto as well Owen, and I _would_ play strip poker with him!' retorted Toshiko.

They looked at each other and laughed, the tension broken.

'Do you want a beer Owen?' asked Toshiko .

'I would love one Tosh, but you don't want to see what happens when I drink now?' answered Owen sadly.

Toshiko looked at him in horror.

'Owen!...I'm sorry...I forgot' she said mortified.

Owen relented.

'It's ok Tosh...don't worry about it...anyway we're at work...no alcohol on the premises' he added.

'Jack has a fridge with beer in his office, hidden in one of the cupboards' she said.

'What?' shouted Owen ' How do you know that, did Jack tell you?' he demanded surprised.

'No' replied Toshiko with a smile 'Ianto did.'

Owen laughed .

'Hooray for the teaboy and his incredibly bad taste in dates.'

'I also know where Ianto hides the posh biscuits' grinned Tosh.

'Ok...why did you never tell me this when I could have used the information?' demanded Owen a little miffed.

'Oh I don't know...There must have been a small part of my brain that knew you would take advantage' laughed Toshiko.

She headed to the office and then the kitchen, returning moments later she shouted.

'Come on Owen, I left the beers in the conference room, and I patched through some video games, we might as well have some fun...I'll drink and you can kill things'

Owen struggled to his feet.

'That's more like it Tosh, you can be fun after all' he said.

'I can be lots of fun Owen, you just never look long enough to see it' replied Toshiko a little sadly.

'You're right Tosh, beer, biscuits, video games, and a gorgeous woman, this is turning into one hell of a party,' smiled Owen.

'Are you taking the piss Owen' demanded Toshiko.

Owen looked at her.

'No Tosh' he said simply, 'we have all those things, so let's just enjoy ourselves until the others return ok?'

Toshiko was still unsure whether he had meant the compliment.

'Ok' she said uncertainly.

TWTWTW

Ianto and Jack returned to the hub just over an hour later. They had dropped Gwen at home. Ianto raised his eyebrows when he saw Toshiko a little tipsy and Owen shouting obscenities at a video screen.

'What the hell is this?' demanded Jack when he entered the conference room.

Owen turned the full force of his anger upon his boss.

'We're having fun..._I'm having fun.._do you have a problem with that Harkness?' he snarled as Ianto placed a restraining hand on Jack's arm.

The relationship between Jack and Owen was still strained.

'No' said Jack more calmly now 'take Toshiko home and we'll see you both tomorrow' he added.

TWTWTW

Jack and Ianto stood together watching their colleagues leave and trying not to smile as Toshiko stumbled under the influence of the alcohol and Owen caught her about the waist and did not let go.

'Jack...I'll leave now if there's nothing else you need me to do' said Ianto.

Jack looked at him a little sadly.

'There's nothing I need you to do Ianto' he said 'but I would still like you to stay...I always want you to stay' he added.

Ianto brushed his fingers across the older man's and held on when Jack opened his palm to claim them.

'I'm going home Jack' he whispered unable to explain his need to remain at a distance sometimes.

'Ianto...I heard you and Owen this morning' said Jack.

'Oh!'

'You denied loving me' said Jack sadly not looking at his young lover.

'Yes' answered Ianto simply.

'Not now ...or not ever?' questioned Jack.

'I don't know Jack....the thought of being in love again terrifies me...but you keep pushing...and I want you so much...and I can't think straight about it when I'm around you' whispered Ianto not able to explain his feelings properly.

Ianto leant into Jack and kissed him gently on the lips.

'I'll see you tomorrow Jack' he said and walked towards the door.

'Ianto!'

Ianto stopped but did not turn around.

'Ianto? Should I stop trying? Should I accept what you can give me? Should I give up hope of more?' asked Jack desperately.

Ianto still did not turn and for a long moment he did not answer. Jack began to lose hope, then he heard it, Ianto's softly spoken.

'No...don't give up Jack'


	9. Chapter 9

"come midnight..you're the wedding fairy."

TWTW

The whole team were in the boardroom drinking beer and eating pizza. They had successfully sent a huge bovine like, purple sobbing alien back through the rift. It had appeared in the playground of a local primary school and just sat weeping as the children happily played around it.

When the playground supervisor had spotted it the police and then Torchwood had been called in. Nobody had been hurt and the alien was obviously passive and clearly more upset than any of the humans watching it warily.

Jack and Toshiko had moved towards the alien and taken charge. Owen, Gwen and Ianto had manoeuvred the children and teachers back inside the school building and begun taking statements. They collected them all into the school hall for ease and Ianto prepared Retcon for the teachers.

Gwen had already experienced Ianto's reluctance to drug people and was surprised he agreed so readily to Retconning the teachers.

'Convincing adults that a purple talking dinosaur was anything other than alien would be seriously difficult Gwen' Ianto explained .

'The children however will be much more accepting...watch!' he continued.

The Torchwood team watched. Jack and Toshiko returned, having successfully fixed the alien's navigation control and sent it on its way and Gwen and Owen had finished drugging the adults. They all watched in absolute fascination as Ianto gathered the children into one large group and began storytelling with them.

He told them stories about magic and talking animals and especially dinosaurs. Stories of terrible deeds and awesome rescues. Of men and women who protected the earth and of the magic animals who helped them. The children sat with bated breath listening avidly. To them the purple dinosaur in their school yard was part of the stories and their parents would listen to them later that night and marvel at the story teller the school had hired for national literacy week.

Ianto ended his session with a round of songs remembered from work experience when he had been at university. Jack had been impressed and touched at the way the children had instinctively taken to Ianto.

When it had been time for the children to be collected the teachers were awake, slightly fuzzy about the afternoon but quickly convinced by the tail end of the story telling session that this had been arranged by the school authorities and had seemingly been very successful.

The children all wanted to hug Ianto goodbye and asked fervently when he would come again. Ianto began a marching song and marched them all to the playground and waiting parents, with promises of returning soon.

As the team left, Ianto's face was flushed with the excitement and the effort. He had enjoyed himself immensely and was proud to have saved the children from unnecessary exposure to drugs.

The girls had teased him all the way back to the hub. Owen had told him he had missed his vocation and Ianto in a rare moment of honesty had admitted that he always wanted to be a teacher, and that he still wanted to be a father. Ianto looked sad as he said it and Jack realised he was thinking of what he would have to give up in order to be with him. He would never be a teacher, never be married, never be a father and probably not live to be very old. Jack was asking him to forego all these things. It was too much.

But for now they were having a rare evening of fun. After pizza, a bottle of whiskey was produced and the team, apart from Jack proceeded to get steadily drunk.

Ianto was seemingly much drunker than the others and was becoming affectionate. He lolled onto Jack and snuggled into his neck planting little kisses.

'Oh good God' sighed Owen.

'If the teaboy is going to get amorous then I am leaving now before I see something I will need therapy to recover from' he joked.

'Oh come on Owen, Ianto rarely lets himself go.... he deserves to relax after his efforts today...and it's great fun to see him like this' said Gwen.

'I am not drunk, I am merely postponing being sober' said Ianto drily.

Five minutes and one more gulp from his glass later and his head fell from Jack's shoulder and landed in the other man's lap.

The girls giggled and Jack stifled a laugh.

'I blame you for this Harkness' said Owen.

'I've said it before, he was a perfectly ordinary well behaved bloke before he met you...and now look at him... I'm telling you again you have turned him into a sexual deviant' he continued.

'Hardly Owen' objected Toshiko.

'From where I'm looking he is' insisted Owen as he watched Ianto burying his head in Jack's crotch.

'Errm Ianto...I really don't think you want to be doing that now' said Jack trying to wriggle away.

'Do want...' muttered Ianto 'you like it...you know you do'

Ianto was kissing all the way up Jack's body now and he was starting to undo shirt buttons. When he sat up to straddle Jack's lap both Gwen and Toshiko began to giggle uncontrollably at this previously unseen side of the Welshman. Owen was staring at him open mouthed.

As Ianto's fingers began to remove Jack's shirt and his arse wriggled suggestively hard down onto Jack's groin, he whispered dramatically loudly.

'Time to fuck captain'

Jack ordered the others to leave.

'Oh yes definitely time to go' laughed Tosh as she and Gwen stood up, unsteady themselves.

She caught hold of Owen's hand and dragged him to the door with them as he was still staring in amazement at Ianto.

After they left Ianto appeared considerably more sober, he was on his feet perfectly steady and tidying away empty glasses and pizza boxes.

'Ianto Jones were you play acting being drunk' asked Jack incredulously.

'Well I am a little tipsy sir...but I wanted to give the others a laugh..._and _I wanted to get rid of them' Ianto admitted.

'Always something new to amaze me with' laughed Jack.

'Wouldn't want you to get bored of me sir' smiled Ianto.

'No chance of that Ianto...I love you' said Jack.

The air between them crackled with silence as the declaration hung there. Ianto made a decision to treat it lightly.

'Sure, you love my suits...my arse...my wit...my availability...my compliance...'Ianto would have continued but Jack stopped him with a kiss.

'Ianto why won't you accept that I love you' asked Jack sadly.

Ianto looked at him silently for a moment as if realising Jack actually wanted an answer. There were so many reasons Ianto doubted Jack's feelings for him. He had left to find the Doctor, he would live forever and Ianto would die. But mostly he didn't want to believe Jack's feelings were real because then he just might have to face his own changing emotions, might have to accept that Jack was beginning to replace Lisa and he wasn't ready to do that.

'Because you are the great captain Jack Harkness and I am just the teaboy' he said 'now please can we go and fuck each other senseless?'

Jack sighed, yet again he was not going to get a straight answer from Ianto. At least he was relaxing in front of the team as tonight's little escapade proved. Gwen's wedding was in a few days and Jack still held hope that Ianto would dance with him, show the world that they were together. To Jack it would be a statement, proof that Ianto wanted him enough that he didn't care who saw.

TWTW

Jack had been watching Ianto out of the corner of his eye all day. Despite the trauma caused by Gwen's 'pregnancy' Ianto knew he was still foremost in the other man's mind. Jack had asked him again last night to dance with him at the wedding and Ianto had still not given a definite answer.

It wasn't that Ianto was ashamed to be seen with a man. He didn't really care if people thought he was gay. But he was not happy being at the centre of attention and that would definitely happen if two men danced together at a Welsh wedding. Ianto liked to blend into the background, unnoticed and disregarded. It made him feel safe. That was why he wore suits and that was why he had perfected the art of appearing serene, the art of charm.

But he knew Jack wanted this. He wanted a display that they were together, a public gesture to affirm their relationship. Ianto didn't really understand the need but he accepted its importance to Jack. Could he give this to his lover? Did he want too? He sighed and went in quest of a new wedding dress to fit the expanded version of Gwen.

TWTW

The clean- up had taken forever. Actually it had taken three hours but Ianto was beginning to think he would spend the rest of his life in this hotel clearing away all signs of alien invasion and putting drugged guests to bed. He was currently on the internet ensuring that no media involvement had occurred. He also needed an explanation for the morning staff as to why their fellow colleagues on night shift would be found in beds the following day. He had settled on a story of food poisoning and had informed the morning duty manager of what to expect on arrival. This food poisoning story had the added bonus that the manager would not want any publicity.

He sighed and packed away his laptop and mobile. Looking around he caught sight of Jack walking towards him.

'All fixed?' Jack asked.

'Yes...the duty manager wanted to come in, but I convinced her to wait for morning when the communicable diseases investigators would be finished'

Jack raised his eyebrows. That sounded a little over the top. Ianto shrugged.

'She was adamant about coming in to help...I needed her to keep clear...exaggerated the food poisoning story a little...she'll come in tomorrow and be expecting off colour guests and staff, and will be wanting to appease them all to avoid publicity' he explained.

'Good work Ianto' said Jack admiringly.

'I aim to please sir' replied Ianto with a grin 'can we leave now? Have Tosh and Owen finished?'

'Tosh and Owen have gone home' said Jack.

Ianto raised his eyebrows.

'I'm the one shagging you...shouldn't I be the one who gets to go home before the work is done?' he asked lightly.

'The work _is_ done Ianto...and you and I are going to stay here tonight...make sure to smooth ruffled feathers in the morning if need be' explained Jack.

'Ok' said Ianto too exhausted to care.

'Ianto' said Jack with a wicked grin on his face 'this is a very posh hotel...nobody else is awake...we have the place to ourselves and we've worked very hard'

Ianto grinned back at him.

'We could have a lot of fun here' he realised.

'I've found us a lovely room to stay in...huge bed...large bath tub...but I was thinking..' continued Jack.

'You were thinking naked hide and seek' added Ianto.

'Oh yes' grinned Jack.

Both men stood and looked at each other then fell to stripping their clothes off.

'I'm hiding' yelled Ianto 'if you don't find me in ten minutes I'm starting without you' he laughed running off and quickly disappearing.

Jack watched him run and laughed. This would be fun, everyone asleep and a whole hotel to play in. Ianto had danced with him, even if it was when he already knew everyone present would have to be Retconned. Jack didn't care, he had done it and that was all that mattered to him. He had made a very public declaration of their relationship, without ever saying a word.

TWTW

An hour later they had run naked over the entire hotel, spent time in the swimming pool and the sauna and sat in an empty dining room eating cake raided from the kitchen. They were beginning to look at each other in the predatory fashion that usually resulted in sex. They had enjoyed the down time of being ridiculous, as the antithesis of being unsung heroes who would never be appreciated. It was time to head to the bedroom and make use of the luxury facilities there.

Jack took Ianto's hand and led him through the reception area stopping in sheer astonishment as they encountered an old lady looking lost and unsure at the desk.

Despite being naked Ianto put on his best charming manner and approached the woman.

'Are you ok? Can we help you with something?' he asked.

The woman turned and looked at them both. Her gaze travelled the length of both their bodies and back up to meet Ianto's smiling eyes.

'I was wondering where everyone is young man' answered the woman 'I woke up about twenty minutes ago and can't find anyone to give me my door key' she continued.

'Were you at the wedding?' asked Ianto confused as to why an old lady should have awakened from the effects of Retcon earlier than anyone else.

'Well I was...but I'm a bit old for all that noise and stupid pranks...in my day a wedding was a solemn occasion, not for being silly and dressing up...I went and sat in the conservatory after the ceremony and must have fallen asleep' she said taking Ianto by the arm.

'I ask you...pretend guns and breaking windows...no I prefer old fashioned church ceremonies...proper vicar...vows...cake...what's wrong with that' she continued.

Jack and Ianto looked at one another. This old dear was obviously no threat to security even if she had been missed by the Retcon clean- up. She obviously thought the whole thing had been some sort of improper joke ceremony and was interested only in getting to her room.

They exchanged a look which decided she could safely be left without drugs, her obvious disapproval meant she would be unlikely to talk to anyone about what she had witnessed and who would believe her if she did.

Ianto fetched her room key and took her arm.

'Please allow us to escort you to your room' he said in his best charming manner.

As they exited the lift at the old lady's floor and Ianto inserted her key into the door of her room she turned to look at them both again. Her gaze once more swept across their entire forms before she whispered to Ianto.

'Do you always work naked?'

'No Madam...not always' answered Ianto straight faced, and ready to burst with laughter when she replied.

'Pity!...you boys have fun' as she entered her room.

Ianto and Jack looked at each other then giggled all the way to their room.

They lay on the bed laughing exhaustedly. Being childish and silly had allowed them to let off the steam from the laborious clean up and the stress of the day. They lay side by side on their backs breathing heavily and still with big stupid grins on their faces.

As their breathing slowed they leisurely turned to face each other and for a long moment neither man spoke. Ianto entwined his fingers with Jack's and moved slightly towards him to plant a soft kiss on his lips.

'Make love with me Jack' he whispered into the other man's mouth.

Jack looked at him with a grin on his face.

'You are such a girl Jones' he said softly.

'No' said Ianto 'because if I were a girl you'd expect to make love with me...but I'm a man and its usually harsher than that between us...making love with me will hold an eroticism all of its own' he explained quietly.

'You are full of surprises Ianto' whispered Jack and he moved closer to the young man.

They kissed gently and Jack rolled Ianto over onto his back stroking across his shoulders and down his arms whilst nuzzling his neck.

'Jack' whispered Ianto.

Jack lay half on top of Ianto and continued kissing his neck and shoulders, both men starting to breathe heavily as they became more aroused.

'I love you Ianto' Jack whispered.

Ianto stiffened below him, unready to hear the declaration. Jack felt his unease and stopped to look at him.

'Let me say it Ianto...while I'm loving you, let me say it...I don't expect a response...I just need to say it...please' he begged quietly.

Ianto searched his face for a long moment and came to a decision. He pulled him into a kiss in acceptance of the other man's need. Jack returned to lavishing his lover's body with all his desire and love.

'Love you Ianto..' he whispered continuing his kisses and caresses.

'Love this..' he lay on top of him and ground their hips together, both men becoming more and more aroused. Ianto had his arms wrapped around Jack running his hands down his back to his arse and pulling him closer.

'You're beautiful' Jack whispered into Ianto's mouth before claiming his lips for another kiss.

Arousal was becoming more demanding now and Jack groped for the lube in his trouser pocket, spreading it quickly over his own cock and pushing two fingers inside the man below him. Ianto gasped at the intrusion. Jack's words were becoming harsher with his growing need.

'I want to be inside you...to feel your heat...your tightness' Jack breathed into his ear.

He stroked over Ianto's prostate and watched as the other man reacted in obvious pleasure, rocking into the fingers trying to find the sensation again. Jack continued stroking and stretching, relaxing Ianto's muscles completely but in turn making him tight with need. The contrast and conflict feeding the arousal of both men.

'I want to watch you enjoy having me inside you...enjoy us being connected...I love doing this with you Ianto' he said breathlessly.

They were both becoming desperate, Ianto was clawing at Jack's arms urging him on. Listening to his voice talk to him, tell him what he liked, was just making him want it more.

Jack thrust into his lover harshly causing slight pain that made Ianto hiss in pleasure. Jack knew Ianto enjoyed an amount of pain during sex and he pushed himself as far as possible into his lover's body. Once Jack was fully inside he returned again to loving him. Rocking his hips gently and kissing his neck.

'Love hurting you' he whispered making Ianto whimper slightly beneath him.

'Love hearing you cry out in pain and knowing you like it' he continued and Ianto squirmed in acknowledgment.

Jack grabbed Ianto's cock and began to stroke it in time with his thrusts.

'Love doing this...watching you..making you come'

They were both close to orgasm and Jack sped up his thrusts. He tightened his grip on Ianto's cock and stroked faster. When he licked up Ianto's neck it was too much and the younger man felt his cock swell and his come burst through the barrier and cover Jack's hand and his own stomach. Jack felt the release fuel his own pleasure.

'Love you' he whispered once more before pushing his hips furiously and spilling his seed deep inside the other man.

Jack groped around for Ianto's hand and held on whilst coming down from his high, still nuzzling his lover's neck. He eventually rolled them both over onto their sides and placed one last gentle kiss on his lips. They panted into each other's mouths for a while as their breathing became softer. Jack made as if to speak but thought better of it and closed his mouth.

'Say it Jack' whispered Ianto.

Jack looked at him in astonishment.

'I love you Ianto' he breathed.

'I know' replied Ianto 'I think I like it...thank you'

Jack grinned, it wasn't a declaration back but it was certainly an improvement, he was getting closer. They lay happy and sated for a while, becoming ever more drowsy.

'It was a memorable wedding....at least for the bride and groom' said Jack.

'Oh yes...I'm sure it's what they always planned...alien pregnancy...near death experiences...and drugging their families...textbook romantic' sneered Ianto.

'But they looked happy....they're starting a life together' said Jack.

'I guess' answered Ianto 'I never thought you would be so conventional as to appreciate that' he continued looking at his captain in wonder.

'When you live a life as unconventional as ours....well... average suddenly looks a lot more appealing' explained Jack.

'Yeah' whispered Ianto softly wondering if his life would ever be average again.

'Ianto...do you want to get married?' asked Jack.

Ianto froze, hearing a declaration of love was one thing, getting a marriage proposal was entirely different. Surely Jack was not meaning to suggest that. Jack felt his lover stiffen.

'Relax Ianto I'm just curious, I'm not proposing' he laughed.

Ianto relaxed slightly.

'Thank God...I don't even want to help you pick out new curtains yet' laughed Ianto.

'Why would I need new curtains' asked Jack.

'Because the ones in your front room are just hideous' answered Ianto.

'Really?' asked Jack.

'Really' replied Ianto.

Jack thought about this briefly. The green colour did clash with the decor but it had never really bothered him and now he would think about it every time he went home. Maybe new ones would be better. He shook himself and returned to the conversation.

'But marriage Ianto?' he asked again.

'Yes I want to be married...I want children...I want security and to know that I am loved...I want all the normal things in life...but I can't have them _and_ Torchwood' he answered.

He looked Jack firmly in the eyes and continued.

'I can't have them.._and_ you'

'A choice Ianto?' said Jack.

'Yeah...a choice' answered Ianto sadly.

Jack swallowed hard.

'I'll let you go Ianto...if that's what you decide' he stuttered.

'I know' whispered Ianto.

'It would break my heart' gasped Jack.

'I know that too' breathed Ianto pulling his lover towards him and rocking him in his embrace.

There should be no hurry for Ianto to make a decision, but Jack had declared his love and Ianto knew it would be cruel to keep him dangling. If he intended to leave Torchwood and Jack in pursuit of an ordinary life he needed to do it soon. If he stayed it would mean admitting his feelings and committing to this new and amazing relationship.

'Sleep Jack...we'll think about it tomorrow...sleep now' he soothed still rocking gently and both men drifted into oblivion.


	10. Chapter 10

"What was I doing?"

TWTW

Ianto was enjoying himself. It was some months since he had found the time to spend an evening with his old university friends Alain and Robin. Alain was married now, he had always been one for commitment and Ianto was pleased to see him so contented. But Robin was his usual self, talking about his latest conquests and flirting with all the girls in the bar.

'So Ianto, you must have a new woman on the go by now, tell all' demanded Alain.

They both knew about Lisa but thought she had broken up with Ianto, not that she had died in such tragic circumstances. It had been easier to allow them to think so.

Ianto took a deep breath.

'Actually' he said 'I'm having a bit of a thing with my boss'

The other two men looked at each other in surprise.

'But isn't your boss a bloke?' asked Robin.

'Yup' admitted Ianto.

They both looked at him in silence and Ianto became worried. Maybe he shouldn't have told them, maybe this would be too much for them to adjust too. Robin smiled suddenly and hugged him.

'Well good for you mate' he said.

'Always knew you were kinky under that prim exterior' laughed Alain.

Ianto relaxed, he should have known they would accept his news, they were his friends and they were not prats. Robin raised his drink.

'To love... in all its forms' he said.

They clinked glasses.

'We still need the details though' grinned Robin.

'Have I ever given you details?' asked an exasperated Ianto.

'No!' they chorused.

'Then why would you imagine I'm going to start now' he winked.

'It was worth a try' sighed Robin.

They raised their glasses again and began to discuss the rugby match played the night before.

Ianto went up to the bar to replenish their drinks but on the way back his eye was caught. Was that Jack? He was supposed to be waiting for Ianto at the hub.

Ianto stood watching as a young woman joined Jack at his table. He rose and kissed her cheek and presented the drink he had already bought. Jack obviously knew this woman, and well enough to know what she would want to drink. Ianto began to breathe a little faster, why hadn't Jack told him he was meeting someone tonight? The obvious answer was that he didn't want Ianto to know.

Ianto could not move, he watched as Jack and this unknown woman sat with heads together, talking intimately. Ianto had begun to sweat, he could not believe what he was seeing, his breathing was fast and shallow and he began to feel a little light headed.

Was Jack cheating? It didn't make sense. Jack had only recently admitted to Ianto that he loved him. Ianto had not yet admitted anything in return but surely Jack was waiting for an answer, surely he was not out looking for someone who would be more responsive. Ianto shook himself, of course Jack was not being unfaithful, they had both promised it was only them. But he watched Jack with this unknown woman, sitting close, whispering in each other's ears, laughing together and he felt his certainty crash around him.

Suddenly his shock turned to anger. He had never expected the captain to want only him but that is what Jack had assured him was happening. Jack had convinced him they were exclusive when Ianto would have accepted part time. He had not expected it, but he had liked it, he had enjoyed being the only lover in Jack's life, he had enjoyed being special.

Watching the pair at the table Ianto could only assume that Jack had thought he could have his cake and eat it. Thought he could convince Ianto to commit whilst still enjoying freedom for himself. Ianto felt the bile rise in his throat.

He marched back to his friends.

'Something has come up, I have to go into work' he stated flatly.

Alain and Robin thought he worked for a government agency and were used to him working odd hours and being called in urgently at strange times.

'Does the boss need you?' laughed Robin winking salaciously.

'Something like that' said Ianto, 'I'm sorry, I'll call you soon'

'Ok mate, no worries' they went back to their drinks.

Ianto waited at the hub for an hour before Jack returned, going over and over in his mind what he had seen and what Jack might be doing. He spent the time convincing himself that Jack was enjoying the delights of that woman's body.

'Ianto' said Jack surprised when he walked in.

'You haven't bought her back here then........you have some standards' spat Ianto.

'What?' asked Jack.

'That woman at the bar, how long have you been shagging her?' sneered Ianto.

Jack stood with his hands on his hips.

'You saw us?' he asked.

'Yes I saw. ..I understood. You promised to tell me Jack if you needed someone else...oh my God Jack...we haven't been using protection...I told you I wanted to know if it stopped being just us...it should have been my decision to risk my health..not yours!... you promised' Ianto was gulping his emotions down.

'Ianto' began Jack, 'that is not what this is'

But Ianto was not listening, his head was throbbing with noise, blood pounding in his ears. He had thought losing Lisa was bad, but this was a whole new form of betrayal.

'Oh Owen is just going to love this when I ask him for tests tomorrow...fucks sake Jack you could have given me anything' spat Ianto.

'I was already in your bed whenever you asked...you didn't need to lie...I never asked you for promises...I thought you meant it Jack...I thought I was the only one...' he began to sob.

'I liked it...just you and me' he gasped out between tears now flowing freely 'I never asked for it...but I liked it' and he broke down and sobbed openly.

Jack watched Ianto, he was torn between anger that he assumed he was cheating and heartbreak that he would believe it. He was trying to form a response, trying to decide what to deal with first when he saw Ianto's emotions change from sorrow to anger.

Rage swept across the younger man's face. He was on Jack without warning and had thumped him in the stomach. As Jack doubled over he raised his knee and caught him on the chin knocking him backwards to the floor. As Jack lay on the floor Ianto kicked him viciously in the back.

'Bastard' he spat and ran from the hub.

Jack recovered quickly and was on his feet and following Ianto in minutes. Surely Ianto could not really believe he was being unfaithful. But Jack thought about Ianto's innate modesty, his inability to see himself for the wonderful, intelligent, creative and sensual man that Jack saw and Jack knew in his heart that Ianto _would _believe it.

Ianto had little faith in his ability to keep Jack interested despite all evidence to the contrary, and Jack had to admit he had sometimes enjoyed the young man's nervous desire to please. That was a mistake.

Now he realised he had to make Ianto understand urgently, had to put right this misunderstanding before it further damaged Ianto's confidence in himself, and before it damaged their relationship beyond repair.

Outside the hub he saw Ianto striding away and started after him. Ianto headed into a bar and ordered a drink. Jack joined him in time to pay for it.

'Go away Jack' said Ianto.

He downed his whiskey and ordered another.

'Ianto please listen to me' begged Jack.

'I will not... go tell it to your floozie' retorted Ianto.

Jack laughed out loud.

'Floozie.........who says floozie?' he questioned grinning.

'What would you prefer?' sneered Ianto 'slut, whore, tart?'

'Ianto please stop this' begged Jack becoming serious.

Ianto downed his latest drink and stormed out flinging.

'Fuck off Jack' over his shoulder.

Ianto only used bad language in the heat of sexual passion or when he was extremely upset. This was not good. Jack desperately wanted to explain to Ianto what he had been doing tonight but Ianto would not listen. Jack matched Ianto's pace but did not try to talk to him, he would just have to wait until the anger burnt itself out and Ianto would listen. Ianto continued to walk, refusing to look at Jack but failing to see how to stop him accompanying him.

'Why are you following me Jack?' he asked.

'To keep you safe' said Jack simply.

'I don't need your protection Jack' stated Ianto.

'I know' whispered Jack, 'I'm being selfish again, but I need you safe Ianto'

Ianto looked away.

At the next bar Ianto ordered another whiskey and Jack whispered to him.

'Take it easy Ianto, you're not used to spirits'

'Piss off Jack' answered Ianto.

Still not ready to listen thought Jack. He sat down and prepared to wait.

After his fourth whiskey Ianto hit upon the perfect way to force Jack to leave. He approached a girl sitting alone and asked to buy her a drink. The girl looked up surprised.

'Ok' she said 'I'm waiting for a friend, but she's late as usual'

'Then may I be permitted to wait with you until she arrives?' asked Ianto politely.

'Sure' the girl indicated the seat next to her.

Jack watched him warily from the other end of the bar, this was worse than he thought. Jack wanted to stop Ianto.

He didn't believe Ianto would take things further with this girl because he knew that wasn't Ianto's style. But he also knew Ianto would regret using the girl like this in the morning. The girl would no doubt see it as an episode of flirting with an attractive man which went no further, Ianto could be very charming. But he would tie himself in knots tomorrow wondering if he had upset her in any way.

That was Ianto, always worrying how his actions affected others. And I always forget to worry about it thought Jack. I need Ianto to balance me, to restrain me, to tell me when I do wrong, to tell me how to put it right.

But none of that matters right now thought Jack, what matters is that I want him, I want him to hug me, to kiss me, to tell me everything is ok, to tell me he loves me. Tears started behind Jack's eyes and he gulped them down.

Ianto was really flirting now and Jack knew just how charming he could be, how witty, how downright sexy. He was leaning towards the girl, getting closer, whispering in her ear. When Ianto ordered more drinks Jack walked over and sat next to them.

'No more Ianto' he commanded.

Ianto turned to look at him and said under his breath.

'I'm not taking your orders any more.. _sir'_

The girl looked at Ianto puzzled.

'Ex friend' explained Ianto.

He returned to their conversation. Ten minutes later when Ianto began to kiss the girl Jack hauled him to his feet.

'Enough now Ianto' he insisted.

'Don't touch me' shouted Ianto'

'What is going on?' asked the girl losing patience.

'I'm taking him home.. I'm sorry' explained Jack.

'I thought you were an ex friend' said the girl in annoyance.

'No... I'm his lover... he is drunk and angry and upset.. and he will be mortified to remember this in the morning ,so on his behalf I apologise to you, and now I am taking him home' said Jack.

'Ianto?' questioned the girl, 'is he your lover?'

'Not any more' hissed Ianto with tears on his cheeks.

'Bastard' said the girl and stormed off.

Ianto watched her go and suddenly the fight left him. The alcohol seemed to catch up with him and he swayed slightly. Jack caught him and lowered him to a chair.

'Look what you made me do' he accused Jack.

'I know...I'm sorry' said Jack.

Ianto rose.

'I'm going home' he announced staggering.

Jack put an arm under him and steered him to the door.

'Let go' he tried to shrug Jack off but only succeeded in stumbling.

'Ianto please, just let me take you home' begged Jack.

Ianto did not speak but allowed himself to be manoeuvred homewards.

At Ianto's house Jack took his keys and opened the door.

'You are not welcome in my house Jack' said Ianto trying to stop Jack crossing the threshold.

In answer Jack picked him up and transported him bodily upstairs. In the bedroom he placed Ianto on the bed and took off his shirt, shoes and trousers. Ianto was now looking very drunk and very upset.

'You going in for rape now Jack?' he snarled.

Jack's patience finally snapped at this insult, he threw the covers over Ianto and hissed.

'Don't be late for work tomorrow' and left.

TWTWTW

Ianto arrived at work the next morning perfectly groomed and on time. Jack watched him cross the hub from his office and felt his heart lurch. Outwardly Ianto looked the same as always, but Jack who knew him so well could see the sadness in his eyes and in every movement he made. Is he ready to listen yet pondered Jack.

He watched him make coffee for the team, precise in all his movements. He saw Toshiko leave her workstation and join him at the coffee machine. He couldn't tell what she was saying but she was standing close. Toshiko had obviously seen Ianto's sadness and Jack felt a stab of jealousy that she was so close to his lover. They were whispering together, Jack knew Ianto would not reveal anything about their relationship, he trusted him implicitly, but he might admit his own hurt, even if not the reason for it.

He watched Toshiko hug Ianto and kiss his cheek. As she returned to her station she looked up at Jack's office and with a brief inclination of her head seemed to suggest Jack should go to Ianto. Jack wanted to go to him more than anything, but he was afraid of rejection, afraid Ianto would still be unwilling to listen.

Jack was also worried about his own reaction to the whole affair. He was now starting to become a little angry. Ianto should trust him, he had given his word that he would tell Ianto if he needed anyone else and that should be enough.

Jack was used to people believing him even when he was lying. His time as a con man had made him a consummate liar and yet he could not convince this young Welshman even with the absolute truth. Jack had admitted his love for this man, why was it not enough?

Ianto left to go to his beloved archives, there was always work for him there. Little was happening at the moment, the rift was quiet.

Jack made a phone call and then gathered his courage and followed Ianto to the archives.

He found Ianto sorting files from the 1920s. He approached him warily.

'You didn't bring me a coffee Ianto' he said quietly.

Ianto looked at him.

'I'm sorry sir, I'll get it now' he said, putting down his files and starting to walk away.

Jack caught his wrist.

'Ianto please don't go' Jack's voice caught in his throat and Ianto looked at him in surprise.

Jack held both Ianto's hands in his, he rushed into the explanation he had been rehearsing all night.

'The woman you saw me with is from Unit, her name is Nicola. She is a nurse in their medical facility and I was introduced by Martha. She is my information giver. There are things Unit don't tell me and I don't like that. Martha was leaking stuff to me that she thought I ought to know, but when she moved to the States she introduced Nicola. Nicola rang last night after you left with some information on medical research using alien material that Unit is running.'

Jack ran out of breath and stopped to look at Ianto to see how this information was being received, praying he would be believed.

Ianto looked at him, he wanted to believe so badly. He hadn't felt ready to express his love to Jack but that didn't mean he didn't feel it. He knew he was falling in love with the man before him and he had almost convinced himself it would be ok to admit that, but now all his doubt had returned.

He knew Lisa had loved him, they had made a life together, they wanted the same things, marriage, children, to grow old together. He couldn't have any of that with Jack, but he had begun to be convinced that he could love him anyway and now that conviction was wavering severely.

He felt awful when he thought about the night before. That poor girl that he had used, Trisha was it, or Tasha, he had kissed someone other than Jack and the thought made him nauseous, but mostly he just ached with the idea of Jack's betrayal.

'You looked very cosy for work colleagues' he hissed.

'Ianto I like Nicola, she's funny and attractive and very useful....but please think logically...I was acting no different than I do with other people...it was a shock because you didn't know who she was...but think...did I really do anything different?' Jack was begging to be believed.

Ianto paused and looked at Jack. In the cold light of day maybe Jack's behaviour wasn't so different, maybe it was just the shock of seeing him somewhere unexpected and with someone Ianto didn't recognise. He yearned to believe it, but he would not be made a fool of.

Jack took a step closer.

'You're right Ianto I did promise you to tell you if I need someone else... and I will... if that time ever comes. I love you, I don't need anyone else and I don't want anyone else. But I do need you Ianto...I need you to hold me...to love me' Jack gulped down a sob 'I've been alone so often...don't leave me Ianto...please'.

Ianto had tears on his cheeks.

'It's hard for me to believe that you, with your 51st century ways could be content with a guy from the 21st century and not want more' he confessed.

'There is still monogamy in the 51st century Ianto' smiled Jack 'although perhaps a little less of it' he admitted.

'Open relationships are more the norm in the big cities, but where I grew up...it was a small community and all the couples were in stable relationships...all the families had two parents...sometimes same sex parents..' he shrugged.

'But that was where I grew up...spent my formative years...I moved on..the time agency didn't encourage exclusive partnerships...too dangerous to split loyalties that way...but deep down..mom, dad and kids is still what I feel most comfortable with...' Jack was racing on with his explanations.

'Plus I've lived out of my time longer than I lived in it..I know fidelity is important to you.. and now it's important to me...it made me feel sick to watch you with that girl last night..I don't know which of you I wanted to punch the most' he finished.

Ianto smiled at him for the first time in 24 hours and Jack felt a twinge of hope. Ianto was beginning to see that he had probably over reacted. Jack flirted with everyone and it never bothered Ianto. Jack was right, he hadn't been doing anything different than he normally would. He hadn't been touching or kissing the woman, just talking, laughing and almost certainly flirting.

Jack decided to walk away. He knew Ianto would need time to digest what he had been told, the young man liked to mull things over properly and decide how he felt about them. But he had a parting shot before he left.

'Nicola likes to flirt...but her partner Laura doesn't allow anything beyond flirting' he winked at Ianto and left.

Ianto sat with his head in his hands his embarrassment complete. He spent some time realising that his relationship with Jack was exactly where it had been before all this happened, except he had admitted, to himself at least, that his feelings were deep. He loved Jack, nothing else could account for the depth of betrayal and hurt he had felt when he thought he had cheated. He needed to make up for his lack of faith in the older man. They needed to reconnect and Ianto needed to apologise. He would sit and think for a while first.

TWTW

A while later Ianto wandered back up to the main hub to find only Owen remained.

'Where is everyone?' he asked in surprise.

'While you were having some kind of hissy fit in the archives because captain invincible upset you, the others have gone out on a call' snarled Owen.

'What sort of call?...why didn't I get informed?' asked Ianto worried.

'Maniac with a knife in a shopping centre...we only got called because someone claimed he was possessed by aliens...he's just a nutter but Jack wanted to appease the local police by showing up when he was called' answered Owen.

'Wow Owen...reaching new levels of political incorrectness with maniac _and_ nutter' smiled Ianto.

Owen laughed and then looked at him slyly.

'What's wrong between you and his gorgeousness then?' he asked.

'Nothing' answered Ianto quickly looking away.

'Come on Ianto...Jack's had a face like a wet weekend...he even yelled at Gwen to mind her own business when she was doing her bleeding heart thing, trying to comfort him...and you've been doing your hiding away, pretending not to exist and sulking routine...so don't give me that crap...something _is_ wrong.

Ianto did not know whether to be pleased that Jack had rejected Gwen's sympathy or annoyed with Owen for saying he sulked.

'It's nothing Owen..leave it' he said.

Owen looked at him, studying him intently and Ianto squirmed a little under the intense scrutiny.

'Don't let it fester Ianto...God knows the thought of you two together gives me the creeps...but the thought of you apart is slightly heart breaking' Owen whispered under his breath.

Ianto looked at him in astonishment but did not have time to respond before the hub door sounded and Toshiko and Gwen entered looking slightly dishevelled.

'Where's Jack?' asked Ianto.

'Strapped in the back of the SUV...idiot got himself killed' snapped Gwen.

'What!? And you just left him there to wake up alone?' gasped Ianto.

'We would have had difficulty carrying him Ianto, he'll be awake soon and can walk up then' argued Toshiko reasonably.

Ianto just looked at the pair of women murderously. He knew they were right and it would have been hard for them to move Jack but their cavalier attitude towards his death, no matter how temporary, annoyed him. He turned on his heels and headed for the garage.

When Jack awoke twenty minutes later he had been unhooked from his seatbelt and was lying across Ianto's lap in the back of the SUV. He gasped in a breath and his arms flailed before Ianto caught him and he calmed.

'What happened Jack?' asked Ianto.

'The idiot with the knife happened' replied Jack 'he thought his boyfriend was being unfaithful with a co-worker and rampaged through the shopping centre looking for his rival'

'I meant what happened to you' said Ianto.

'I listened to his rant...thinking about us...about how you don't trust me...I got careless and he lashed out...I bled out in the SUV so the idiot has no idea he injured me so badly'

Ianto gulped. Their argument had led to Jack being hurt, it had distracted him at a time when he needed all his faculties about him. This had to end, they had to move on.

'I'm sorry Jack...I'm sorry for doubting you...I know Nicola is just a colleague...I should never have thought anything else...it's hard for me to believe sometimes that I'm enough for you' Ianto admitted hanging his head as Jack sat up.

Jack looked at him and considered this.

'You're enough Ianto...you always have been' he answered quietly.

Jack was still little annoyed, both with himself and Ianto. This was a stupid situation that should never have developed. Ianto should have faith in him and _he_ should have been able to convince his lover that his faith was justified. Both men knew they had to move on from this and both wanted to, but neither was sure how.

'The SUV will need industrial cleaning' sighed Jack looking at the amount of blood stains.

'Yes' said Ianto not really caring about the huge clean up job that the removal of blood always required.

The two men sat for a long moment with their foreheads together trying to reconnect. They moved in and kissed gently, tongues entwining and exploring, hands moving to hold each other in place. They both knew now they would move on and maybe even learn to trust each other a little more. But they both needed a little more space first, to adapt and let go of fear and frustration.

The kiss broke and Jack sat back and looked at his young lover earnestly.

'Clean up Ianto' he demanded.

'I'll get on to it' answered Ianto sadly as he watched Jack walk away.

TWTWTW

When the SUV had been returned to its normal state Ianto returned to the main hub and made a round of drinks, silently leaving one for Jack in his office as the older man did not look up from his paperwork.

Jack did not emerge from his office until it was to shout to everyone to go home. Ianto stayed working at his monitor after the others had all left for the evening. Jack came out and stood by him.

'Go home Ianto' he demanded softly.

Ianto moved slightly closer to his lover hoping now was the time to fully leave behind the argument.

'Will you forgive me?' he asked trying his hardest to look repentant.

Jack was still annoyed and he was beginning to enjoy the shift in power that was leaving him on the receiving end of apologies. He knew now that Ianto believed him and he wanted to move past this whole fiasco but he was still a little upset.

'I forgive you...now go home Ianto' he answered.

But Ianto did not want to go home and was not entirely convinced he was forgiven. He would not leave until he and Jack were back to their usual selves. Jack had moved away and turned his back on his lover to concentrate on paperwork at Toshiko's station.

Ianto approached him from behind. He stood close and Jack could feel him breathing on his neck. Ianto thought he knew how to win Jack's forgiveness. He slowly and gently pressed his lips to Jack's neck just below his ear and whispered.

'I'm sorry sir'

He walked around to the front of Jack and again without touching anywhere else he ghosted his lips across the older man's and breathed into his mouth.

'Sir...' he let the word and the submission it suggested hang in the air.

'Forgive me sir'

Jack closed his eyes and felt the words go straight to his groin. Ianto knew how this teasing affected him and he only called him sir nowadays to give Jack a thrill in bed. Jack could feel his grip on his bad mood loosening as Ianto touched their lips together once more, so slightly it could almost be missed were it not for the jolt of arousal it produced in Jack's trousers.

Ianto could see he was beginning to win the battle to regain Jack's good mood. He decided to go in with the tactic that had never failed.

'I promise to be a good boy sir' he whispered tugging on Jack's earlobe with his teeth.

Jack's sharp intake of breath told Ianto the tactic was definitely working and he kissed along his jaw line to emphasise his willingness to compensate for past misdemeanours. Jack tilted his head to give Ianto better access to his neck .

'Do you really promise to be a good boy?' asked Jack harshly.

Ianto smiled to himself almost certain that he was winning.

'I promise sir' he said humbly.

Jack closed his eyes and drank in the feeling of being close to Ianto, knowing that they were ok again. Ianto was continuing to kiss his neck gently and slowly, teasing him into a reaction.

'Good boy...such a good boy..' Jack whispered as his eyes closed.

Ianto ghosted his hands over his stomach still nuzzling his neck. Jack could wait no longer.

'Undress me' he ordered looking into Ianto's face.

Ianto looked down in submission as was expected in this situation.

'Yes sir' he whispered.

TWTWTW

Ianto had been a very good boy and followed every one of Jack's orders to his very obvious satisfaction and they now lay sated in Jack's bed in his room under the office. Jack stroked Ianto's shoulders and kissed his neck languidly.

'You were jealous' he said with a smile in his tone.

'Only a little' sniffed Ianto.

Jack rolled onto his side and looked Ianto full in the face.

'No' he insisted 'you were very jealous...I had bruises to prove it'

Ianto smiled back at him.

'Yeah...I was jealous' he admitted but then looked serious.

'I was devastated Jack...just like with Lisa...I never wanted to feel like that again...I tried so hard to protect myself'

'You can't stop how you feel Ianto...has nobody ever told you it is better to have loved and lost?' Jack asked quietly.

'Yes...after Lisa..I didn't believe that..but I don't know anymore...maybe' Ianto stuttered.

He looked down and Jack watched his face crumple.

'It hurt so much Jack'

Jack could see Ianto desperately trying to hold back the tears.

'It's ok Ianto...you can cry here in my arms...I promise not to tell Owen' Jack smiled at him through a mist of his own tears.

Ianto broke down and sobbed clutching at Jack's chest. Jack just rocked him and made soothing nonsense noises. There would be no confession of love from Ianto tonight but looking at the sobbing man in his arms Jack knew the emotion existed. He could wait for the words.


	11. Chapter 11

"Work to do"

TWTW

Ianto allowed his eyes to roam across the mall and alight once more on the figure of Jack in the security guard uniform. He looked strange out of his great coat, Ianto really missed the coat. But he was beginning to enjoy the uniform, especially as he was the only one who knew Jack had his gun safely tucked away underneath. Ianto squirmed slightly as he thought about his captain and what he would like to be doing to him right now. He looked away determined to concentrate.

Mrs Peters glanced up at him.

'Are you alright love?' she asked.

Ianto smiled at his co worker.

'I'm fine Mrs P, just trying to decide what to do after work'

'Oh you young people...so much energy...will you go out with Mr Harkness looking for nice girls?' she asked him smiling.

'Something like that Mrs P' answered Ianto with a grin as he watched Jack wink at him from across the mall.

Ianto turned his attention to the next customer who had a Christmas parcel for him to wrap.

TWTWTW

Toshiko had detected time anomalies in the shopping mall six days ago, they were inconsistent and unpredictable. It was three weeks before Christmas and the local council refused to close the mall for investigations. Jack had arranged jobs for the team in the shopping area so that they were available in case of emergency and could continue to observe and collate information on the disturbances.

So far sixteen different objects had drifted through the anomalies, ranging from weapons to children's toys but to date nothing living had appeared. Toshiko was convinced that a life force was trying to enter and Jack had agreed that the energy signatures did suggest the possibility.

There was no indication if the creature or creatures attempting to travel to Cardiff through the rift were tourists or an invasion force, so the team were waiting in states of varying excitement, anxiety and boredom. Most of their time was spent waiting, but every time another object fell through the rift, whichever one of them was closest to the energy signature had to investigate and this upped the level of anxiety briefly.

Ianto was working on the counter that was wrapping Christmas gifts in exchange for a donation to the charity the mall was supporting this year. Jack was a security guard, meaning he could wander all levels and all areas without question. Gwen was waitressing in the open cafe area which gave her a high level of visibility across the mall. Toshiko and Owen were elves outside Santa's grotto, entertaining children as they waited their turn to visit Father Christmas.

Owen was definitely not happy when he had been informed of his new employment and even less happy when he had seen the outfit he was expected to wear, a short tunic over green tights and a green floppy hat with stick on ears. At first he had been adamant that years of medical training should exempt him from such degradation, but Jack had assured him that most of the anomalies had occurred in the area of the grotto and Toshiko would need support and protection whilst she conducted readings.

Reluctantly he had eventually agreed, on condition that nobody would laugh at his outfit. Toshiko looked incredibly cute in her matching costume, but it had taken great determination on the part of other team members not to giggle when Owen had turned up in his.

Jack wandered past the grotto several times per day and gallantly tried not to smirk at Owen as he did so, Ianto from his safe vantage point could openly grin at the medic's discomfort at playing children's entertainer.

Ianto quite enjoyed his new occupation. Mrs Peters his co worker was nearing retirement age and had taken a shine to the polite and well dressed young man who had been sent to help her. They chatted easily and everybody who came to their booth was feeling good about making a Christmas donation to charity, so the work was pleasant.

Twice Ianto had been closest to a registered rift quake and had left his post at speed after a call from Jack via the comm he wore constantly. Mrs Peters assumed he had gone to Jack's aid to deal with trouble makers and had quickly become aware of their friendship. Ianto had not informed her that they were more than friends, not knowing how she would react. He did not wish to create an uncomfortable atmosphere if she was disapproving.

Jack sauntered across to their booth.

'Morning Mrs Peters...you've been busy this morning' he smiled at the older woman.

She looked up from sorting ribbons.

'Yes...and Ianto is a boon to me...he wraps parcels so beautifully...even the oddly shaped ones...he's quite gifted' she answered.

'It's the nimble fingers Mrs P...he can work magic with those nimble fingers' grinned Jack and winking at her he walked on.

Mrs Peters looked from him to Ianto blushing at her side and understanding clicked in her mind.

'So...not nice girls you'll be out looking for then?' she said to Ianto.

Ianto looked startled. He had no intention of denying his relationship with Jack but he wouldn't have chosen to advertise it either. He wasn't sure what to say and just stared for a long moment.

'No' he eventually admitted.

Mrs Peters suddenly gave him the brightest smile Ianto had seen in a long time.

'Your generation didn't invent it you know and you do make a very handsome couple' she said.

Ianto laughed in relief.

'You shouldn't be ashamed Ianto' she said earnestly.

'I'm not' answered Ianto.

'No..' she said 'but you're not exactly shouting it from the rooftops either are you?'

Ianto shrugged.

'My brother had a friend called Mark for many years and we all wondered if they were more than friends. But suddenly Graham announced he was getting married to a girl none of us even knew.' Mrs Peters looked ahead into empty space and the past.

'They were married for thirty years and had three children...but he was never happy...and he never made his wife happy. When he was dying of cancer eight years ago he asked me to contact Mark' tears glistened in the old lady's eyes as she remembered the scene.

'They spoke to each other whilst he lay in his hospital bed. I don't know what they said and Mark left straight afterwards. Wasted years Ianto...wasted years... I hadn't even realised Graham still knew how to contact him. He died three days later...surrounded by his wife and children but with sadness in his eyes' a single tear was allowed to trail down her face.

'Rejoice in a freedom that doesn't end in choices like that Ianto...know that you've lived and loved...don't die with sadness for lost opportunities clouding your vision...you live in an age of choice...be grateful...and choose well' she ended.

Ianto gave in to the overwhelming need to hug his colleague. He didn't say anything, just nodded understanding when she looked at him. He felt the extra key on his chain and considered again the implications it contained.

_--_

'_Ianto I have something for you' said Jack shuffling his feet and looking slightly embarrassed._

_Ianto studied him for a moment._

'_Is it something totally disgusting that we cannot use in front of team members?' he asked wryly._

_Jack smiled._

'_No...but I'm not sure how you will react..you'll probably refuse to take it and insist that it's too domestic...but I want you to have it...I hope you will..' Jack was stuttering over his words._

'_Jack...what is it?' Ianto became concerned seeing how nervous Jack was._

_Jack produced a key from his pocket and held it out towards Ianto._

'_It's to my house...I want you to feel free to be there, even when I am not...I want to share it with you' he stumbled._

'_Oh' said Ianto flatly._

_The two men looked at each other without speaking. After a long moment Jack began to withdraw the hand containing the key, but Ianto stopped him. He took his own key ring from his pocket and taking the proffered key from Jack, attached it with his own. Jack grinned at him._

'_Not freaked out then?' he asked._

_Ianto shrugged._

'_A little...but not enough to turn down access to a house with central heating that won't quit when winter is coming' he deadpanned._

_The two looked at each other._

'_Another step Ianto' smiled Jack._

'_So it would seem..and me without my shoes on' answered Ianto._

_Neither man was entirely sure what the other meant by the gesture or the words, but for now they were willing to follow the flow and not fight it._

TWTWTW

Ianto shook himself out of his reverie. He still did not know what his acceptance of Jack's key meant, but he knew he had decided to stop analysing every step and just do what felt right at the time.

Later that same day Ianto saw Toshiko frantically signalling him from the grotto and made an excuse to Mrs Peters to go and see what was wrong.

'I couldn't reach you on the comm....the time distortion was so bad' explained Toshiko when he arrived.

'Next time you see Jack tell him the readings suggest something big will happen in the next few hours...good job it's getting close to closing time...hopefully the area will be clear by the time whatever it is comes through' she added.

'Right' said Ianto 'so extra vigilance until closing and then I expect we will not be going home tonight' the two grinned at each other.

With any luck the anomalies would be over soon and with no casualties and nobody to be Retconned.

Ianto returned to his booth.

'You're not really a mall worker are you Ianto?' asked Mrs Peters when he returned.

'What makes you say that?' he asked warily.

'I'm a people watcher...you and Mr Harkness, the two elves... and I thought you were sweet on the waitress in the cafe...but I know that's not likely now, so I'm guessing she is one of your little gang as well....what is it you are doing?...is it terrorists?' she asked a little scared at the possibility.

Ianto did not want to upset or frighten his co worker but felt she deserved some credit for her observational skills and he would not lie to pacify her, perhaps just be lenient with the exact truth.

'Something like that Mrs P...don't be concerned...if there is real danger we will evacuate the building...and I promise to keep you safe personally' he smiled one of his most charming smiles but she still looked concerned.

'I won't ask any more because I know you won't be able to tell me....but promise me to be careful Ianto Jones'

'I promise Mrs P' he answered earnestly.

TWTWTW

It was close to closing time and the mall was emptying quickly when all hell let loose. Ianto's first warning was Jack shouting over the comms for the whole team to get to the east corridor fast.

Ianto vaulted the booth counter with Mrs Peter's injunctions to stay safe ringing in his ears.

'If anything comes this way run...run and don't look back...leave everything' shouted Ianto over his shoulder to the woman he had become fond of in the last week. He looked long enough to see her nod, then ran towards Jack at speed, scattering the few remaining shoppers lingering to look in windows.

Alarms began to ring and people looked about themselves in bemusement. A sense of urgency began to gather as people realised this was not a drill and the tanoy was ordering them to evacuate the shopping area as quickly as possible. As people began to panic and run, Ianto offered up a prayer of thanks that so few shoppers remained at this time.

Gwen joined him in the east corridor as did Toshiko and Owen, the bells on their ankles providing advance warning of their arrival. They all looked slightly incongruous with their guns out and ready, but Owen and Toshiko looked especially out of place, bells tinkling and hats wobbling. Ianto shook himself, now was not the time to be thinking such thoughts, they had a job to do.

'Jack' he demanded over the comms 'where are you?'

There was no reply and the team looked at each other worriedly. This was the location Jack had specified and Toshiko's read outs confirmed a huge rift peak, so where was their leader. Guns trained the team set about scanning the place and marking out safe and searched zones.

A huge crash signalled an area of interest that the team zoned in on and Ianto drew in a sharp intake of breath as he saw Jack held by the throat by a vaguely humanoid shape. The creature holding him was intent on the kill and was much larger than a human and obviously possessed of greater strength.

Four more creatures emerged and Owen took over command as he ordered the team to take up strategic positions from which to cover all opponents and to open fire. It quickly became obvious that more than one well aimed bullet would be needed to take down these creatures. All of them had been hit at least once and it had merely seemed to enrage them. They had weapons of their own and soon a full scale battle was taking place.

Ianto could vaguely hear screams in the background as people heard the shots and panicked further, these creatures could not be allowed to enter the city. The creature holding Jack dropped him in order to gather his weapons to fire and it became obvious to Ianto that Jack was dead or at least unconscious.

Owen was calling the others to pull back, to prevent the escape of the creatures, to cover the exits from the mall. They were taking cover behind Christmas displays and exhibits, the contrasts of gunfire and Christmas plenty became gross in Ianto's mind.

Gwen screamed in fury as she ran from one cover to another firing as she went. Toshiko took a hit to her shoulder and went down. Owen's voice came over the comms begging her to be ok.

'I'm fine Owen...I'm fine...it's just a flesh wound...keep firing...we need to keep them from getting out' shouted Toshiko.

Owen hit one of the creatures for a fourth time and at last it collapsed and did not move again. The team were wary of considering it dead, but the reaction of the other creatures seemed to suggest it was. They all became still and then roared in anguish and continued fighting.

Ianto could see Jack recover in the background, it was too soon for him to have come back from dead, he must have been unconscious. Jack spoke to them over the comms.

'Guys...these are Mootars...inter stellar slavers...on no account let them leave here...and don't get too close' he whispered.

'Slavers?' questioned Gwen 'you mean they trade in people?'

'People...any life form..sentient life forms only..._they_ raise most money' said Jack.

'Oh my God!' shouted Gwen 'that is just disgusting'

'Yeah...can we leave the social indignation until we've solved the initial problem of marauding aliens?' sneered Owen.

A sudden cry of triumph sounded from the Mootars and the team watched as they captured what appeared to be a young man and his father. The boy was only about fourteen or fifteen and was cowering in his father's arms as they were surrounded by the aliens and quickly disappeared.

'What happened?' asked Toshiko.

'They transported them to their ship' answered Jack 'that's how they do this...get in...capture as many as possible and get out quick...we've no way of getting them back so let's make sure they don't capture anyone else' he snapped.

'What will happen to them?' asked Gwen unable to leave it and concentrate on the job at hand.

'The man will probably be sold as labour..he looked strong enough' said Jack.

'What about the boy?' asked Toshiko with tears in her voice.

'The pleasure palaces' answered Jack and heard them all take a sharp breath with understanding and sorrow.

'Come on team..concentrate. Aim for the very centre of their bodies, it disables them...gives a chance to get more shots in' announced Jack.

The team renewed their concentration and another Mootar went down. The two remaining aliens were obviously wavering over whether to cut their losses and leave when they spotted a young child whimpering in a doorway. The child was only six or seven years old and clearly overwhelmed by what he was witnessing.

Ianto saw the determination to take one more slave become apparent in the eyes of the aliens and knew he had to stop them. This innocent child was not going to any slave labour camp and certainly not to a pleasure palace.

'Cover me' he screamed in to his comm and shot out from his hiding place. Whilst the aliens were engaged in fire he whipped the child into his arms and away from danger.

The child fought, having no reason to suppose Ianto was not as dangerous as anything else he had witnessed. Ianto fell in the struggle but did not let go his hold on the child as the aliens moved to surround them both.

'Nooo!' screamed Jack thinking he was about to witness his lover taken off to another world and who knew what horrors.

The Mootars looked up in surprise as this human ran at them and gunshot continued to rain down. They fired at Jack giving Ianto enough time to move the child out of range and Toshiko, Gwen and Owen rained bullets down indiscriminately, judging that a death for Jack was a small price to pay to keep the city safe from these despicable creatures.

Ianto saw the two aliens and Jack collapse and was torn between getting the child away from a scene he should surely not witness and going to his lover.

'Ianto...get the kid out of here...it's all under control' shouted Owen 'Go!' he ordered when Ianto at first did not move.

Ianto pulled himself together and half dragged, half carried the child to waiting police officers at the exit of the mall. He hurried back to the others. The aliens were all dead and Owen was organising clean up whilst Toshiko checked to make sure that no further rift anomalies were expected.

'It's closed Owen...nothing more predicted...nothing to suggest the signatures were ever here' she said with relief.

'Nothing except two missing people' snapped Gwen.

'Could have been worse Gwen' reasoned Toshiko.

'Not for them' seethed Gwen.

'We did what we could Gwen...stop beating us up for what we couldn't prevent...' Owen was getting annoyed with the Welshwoman and started giving orders for the removal of alien bodies.

Ianto sat with Jack waiting for him to return and feeling nauseous at the thought of the two captured people and the near miss with the child. He wanted to sob for them but that would be pointless, they needed to clear this mess up and reassure the citizens of Cardiff that they were safe once more.

TWTWTW

Jack gasped back to life in Ianto's arms and instantly struggled with him.

'Jack...it's ok' shouted Ianto to calm him.

'Ianto...you're ok...you're still here...oh God I thought they would take you' stuttered Jack sitting up and keeping hold of Ianto as he did so.

Jack calmed down and sat looking at Ianto.

'How could you be so stupid? I told you all they were slavers...I told you not to get too close... they almost got you Ianto and I wouldn't have been able to save you...don't ever do that again...you are never to put yourself in that kind of danger again...do you hear me?' demanded Jack getting very angry now as the relief flooded through him.

Ianto reacted to the aggressive tone with anger of his own.

'I was not about to let an innocent child be taken by those things Jack...you can't seriously expect me to keep myself safe at the expense of others' he announced exasperated.

'I could have lost you Ianto...you will obey my orders and not put yourself in danger...do you understand?' Jack shouted standing up and adopting an aggressive pose.

Ianto stood up to join him, equally as annoyed.

'You died Jack!...I don't just see you in danger...I see you dead..I hate that' he shouted.

'But I'll come back...it's different...you need to be kept safe' screamed Jack back at him.

'I need to do my job...and be a decent human being who would save a child even at risk to themselves...you're being unfair...and pompous!' countered Ianto.

'I don't care..you will not put yourself in danger again...you'll stay at the hub' yelled Jack.

'Arrogant git' shouted Ianto.

'Irritating child' countered Jack.

The two men stood looking at each other, both determined not to give in first and yet both desperate to be in the other's arms, to take comfort in the fact that for now at least, they were both safe.

'Ianto?' questioned Jack when Ianto had not spoken for while.

Ianto continued to stare at the other man unable to move or even articulate any more. The feeling of relief that they were both safe and the events were over had suddenly hit the young man and frozen him in place.

'Ianto?' Jack asked again.

Jack slowly moved towards Ianto half expecting to be thumped as closure to the argument they had been having. He stopped close enough to touch his lover and suddenly panicked.

'Ianto? You're not hurt are you...what's wrong?' he asked shakily running his hands over the man before him.

Jack's quick hands soon found the cause of Ianto's immobility, not injury but a raging erection. The relief was manifesting itself in physical form. Jack had lived and died, long and often enough to know that sometimes in these situations the body needed to affirm to itself it was alive and in one piece and that often resulted in the desperate desire for a hard fuck.

An affirmation of life. Sex and death were inextricably linked and yet so few people were willing to admit that fact. Jack had learnt over his long life that you were much more likely to get laid at a funeral than a wedding, however incongruous that fact might seem.

'It's ok Ianto' he said softly moving closer to the younger man who was obviously both astonished and slightly dismayed by his body's reaction.

His eyes darted about Jack's face looking for understanding and an answer to what was happening.

'It's ok Ianto...I'm ok...you're ok' Jack crooned 'this is ok' he whispered palming the other man's erection.

Ianto took a deep breath as Jack touched him and Jack was surprised as he was spun on his heels and dragged over to a shop by Ianto tugging on his wrist. He went with the younger man curious to know what was happening.

Ianto stopped before a table set up to display Christmas wares and shoved them haphazardly to one side. He physically thrust Jack at the table facing away from him.

'Hands on the table...don't move' he commanded.

Ianto might be feeling irrationally horny but he was also still angry. Jack smirked as he realised Ianto's intention, well he could live with a quick fuck in a shopping mall, great way to settle an argument he thought.

Ianto had ripped Jack's trousers down and Jack heard him spit into his hand before he felt fingers thrust into him. It was quite painful and not very erotic, Jack became unsure about his willingness to do this.

'Ianto' he began.

'Don't speak...don't move...I'll fucking kill you if you don't let me do this' Ianto spat.

What?

Where had his demure Welshman gone?

Anger, relief and annoyance were obviously not a good combination in this man. Ianto was clearly more upset by the whole episode than Jack had realised. Jack braced himself to endure whatever pain the action would bring and tried to placate his lover with compliance.

Ianto thrust into him suddenly and without warning and with so little preparation that Jack gasped back a cry and forced himself to remain still, whilst wanting to move away from the pain. Ianto began thrusting erratically and fast, breathing onto Jack's neck as he rested his head there, holding his hips tight, not attempting to make this pleasant in any way for his lover.

Jack recognised what Ianto was doing. This wasn't about sex or love, Ianto was marking his territory, claiming back what he had seen taken from him when Jack died, punishing his lover for arguing. Jack stood still and allowed himself to be claimed.

As Ianto grew closer to his release he began talking again.

'Don't tell me what to do...don't talk...don't move'

He gripped a fistful of Jack's shirt as if to keep him in place despite Jack's lack of struggle. Ianto reached a crescendo and bit Jack's shoulder hard as his orgasm hit. He rode it out and then slumped against Jack's back.

Jack did not attempt to move until he felt sobs wracking the other man's body. He turned in his arms and pulled Ianto into a hug.

'I'm sorry...I'm sorry' whispered Ianto into his neck.

'It's ok Ianto' soothed Jack stroking his lover's back.

'It's not ok Jack...I forced you..I hurt you'

Jack smiled down at his young lover.

'Don't be daft Ianto...you didn't force me to do anything...you know as well as I do that if I had struggled in any way at all you would have let me go' he insisted.

Ianto looked away. He knew Jack was right, if the other man had fought he would have stopped, but that didn't mean he hadn't enjoyed the illusion of force. He felt slightly ashamed of himself.

'I still hurt you Jack...and...and I think I liked that....that's not right...people who care for each other don't do that' he said hanging his head.

Jack pulled him into a hug.

'Yes you hurt me..but only a little...I understand Ianto..fear and relief, sex and death, pain and pleasure all in the mix together...it's ok' he assured him.

Ianto pulled out of the hug a little to look him in the eye.

'Really?' he asked.

'Yeah' said Jack softly 'but not too often eh?'

Ianto smiled.

'I'm still mad at you' he said quietly.

'Yeah...me too' answered Jack equally softly.

The two men stood in each other's embrace for a few moments.

'I don't know about you but _I'd_ really like to have my trousers pulled up when Cardiff's police force decide to enter the scene' said Jack as they heard voices approaching.

'Oh God' said Ianto frantically pulling his clothes straight and trying not to laugh.

But it wasn't the police, it was Owen returning to see if they needed help.

'Good God you two are sick beyond words' he shouted as he came upon them still straightening clothes.

'Is there no situation you don't find sexually appealing Harkness?' he questioned.

Ianto looked at Jack in mute appeal not to reveal it had been his urges that had resulted in their current state. Jack took pity on him.

'Nope...not found one yet...you could always watch Owen...you might learn something!' he joked.

Owen's mouth hung slightly open as he tried and failed to form a reply to that.

'The police want to come in Jack...they want to know if it's safe, which according to all of Toshiko's readings it is...and Mrs P is threatening violence if someone doesn't reassure her that teaboy here is fine...God knows what the poor woman would think if she knew you and Jack were shagging amidst all the chaos' sneered Owen.

'Actually Owen she knows Jack and I are shagging and she thinks it's just great' said Ianto walking away to find and reassure his co worker.

Owen and Jack watched him go.

'Does that old lady really know you and Ianto are shagging?' asked Owen in slight amazement that Ianto would reveal so much about himself.

'I have no idea Owen..but it wouldn't surprise me...people are not dumb just because they are old...and we're not shagging' responded Jack.

Owen looked at him in disbelief.

'It's a bit late to be in denial now Jack' he scoffed.

'I'm denying nothing...except that what we do is not shagging' said Jack walking away from the other man.

Owen shrugged his shoulders. Well _we_ all know that...it's about time they realised it too he thought to himself.

TWTWTW

Back at the hub Gwen was still insisting they do something about the two people taken by the slavers.

'We must be able to do something Jack...track them..go after them' she said.

'How exactly would we go after them? This time has no space travel vessels that could match them...and it's impossible to track Mootars even in my time..they have scrambling software that makes it impossible to get a lock on their systems and any attempt to transport on or off their ships without the correct codes leaves a mess of atoms rather than anything resembling a human being' said Jack sadly.

'Those people are gone Gwen...we have to accept it and be grateful it was restricted to two' he finished.

'There must be something' she continued.

'Go home Gwen' demanded Jack getting annoyed.

'Fine' the Welshwoman stormed from the hub knowing Jack was right but unable to let it go.

Toshiko's wound had been dressed by Owen and she had finished her calculations.

'No more rift spikes...absolutely nothing to suggest any further anomalies' she reported to Jack.

'No' said Jack sadly 'they will be back, but for now they will move on...that's how they operate...force themselves into a time..grab what they can and move swiftly to the next destination'

Toshiko patted his arm.

'We did what we could...I'm going home' she said.

'Night Tosh' smiled Jack.

'Jack..I don't sleep...I'm going to start the autopsy on these bastards...I'll keep an eye on the rift if you and Ianto want to go home' announced Owen with unexpected generosity.

Jack smiled at him.

'Thanks Owen..but I have to complete paperwork and talk to the police chief before I can leave' said Jack 'go home and get some sleep Ianto' he finished.

Ianto pulled him away from Owen to talk privately for a moment.

'Jack..I..' he began.

'It's ok Ianto..it's over...I'm sorry for what I said to you but I'm not sorry for wanting to keep you safe...I promise I will try not to let it influence decisions I make as a leader' smiled Jack in his best placatory manner.

Ianto smiled back at him.

'I like this job Jack...I know there is danger but I promise to try not to be foolish or careless' he replied.

They grinned at each other. Ianto put his hand in his pocket and drew out a key.

'I had it cut for you at the mall' he said offering it to Jack.

Jack took it and looked up.

'Ianto I have a key to your place..Torchwood protocols...I have for them for all staff' he said puzzled.

'I know...but _that_ is protocol...for emergencies...' answered Ianto.

'This is a gift...for you to use whenever you want to...whenever you want to see your..' he stopped not knowing what the end of the sentence should be.

'Whenever I want to see my what?' smiled Jack.

Ianto thought. 'Lover' didn't quite cover it, 'boyfriend' was too weird, 'other half' was way too domestic, 'partner' was too formal, what _was_ the end of the sentence.

'Whenever you want to see your Ianto' he concluded in exasperation.

'My Ianto' laughed Jack 'I like that...I like that a lot'


	12. Chapter 12

"You smell like that naturally?"

TWTWTW

This was not a good day for Ianto, he knew he would need to keep himself busy, deliberately not think too much. He decided to concentrate on the others in the hub, try to interest himself in their concerns and needs, after all it was what he did best.

He had spent the previous night convincing Jack to allow him to purchase the latest video game for Owen on the Torchwood account and he had needed to be very inventive in order to get Jack to agree. It had been a pleasant way to spend an evening, persuading his captain was always pleasant, but at the back of his mind had been the notion that Owen needed entertaining.

TWTWTW

'_Please Jack' begged Ianto kissing his captain's neck softly._

'_Ianto...how do I justify video games on the accounts? I'm not exactly a do things by the book person, but that's a stretch even for me' insisted Jack whilst closing his eyes to enjoy his Welshman's work on his neck._

'_Jack..you are a very intelligent man..I feel sure you could come up with a reason..I know you can do it sir' Ianto continued kissing and nibbling at Jack's neck and holding his wrists with a barely there touch, pushing his body to within touching distance of Jack's._

'_I might..oh God...I might be able to think of a way' gasped Jack responding to Ianto's ministrations._

_Ianto stopped to look him in the face and with his mouth within millimetres of Jack's he whispered._

'_How can I persuade you sir?'_

'_Oh God' sighed Jack again._

_Ianto barely brushed his hand across Jack's groin feeling the large lump under his trousers. He continued to kiss and lick at Jack's neck and kept talking to him._

'_Will this convince you sir?' he asked squeezing Jack's erection._

_Jack rested his head on Ianto's shoulder but otherwise did not respond. Ianto slowly unzipped Jack's trousers and slipped his hand inside, grasping the erection gently and rubbing slowly and teasingly._

'_What about this sir?...is this better?..'_

_Jack's breathing hitched, he loved it when Ianto did this. He loved the tease, the persuasion, he loved Ianto calling him sir and doing as he was told._

_Ianto had pushed Jack's trousers and underwear just down far enough over his hips to have access to his cock and was rubbing backwards and forwards in slow tantalising strokes designed to drive Jack mad. He added a slight twist of his wrist and swiped his palm over the head._

'_Ianto' breathed Jack his body stiffening with the effort to hold back orgasm. _

_This really shouldn't be such a turn on some part of his mind was telling him. But Ianto in his suit with his hand down Jack's trousers, calling him sir and begging for something was a fantasy that made Jack desperately hard. He looked down and saw Ianto's hand on his hard cock still languidly stroking and listened to his sexy Welsh voice being all submissive and it became too much for Jack._

'_Am I being a good boy?...will you give me a reward?' asked Ianto licking the captain's neck._

_Jack could take no more teasing and threw an arm across Ianto's chest to hold him in place against the door and put his own hand over the one Ianto had wrapped around Jack's cock. He began pumping with determination, not looking at Ianto's face but only at his suit clad body._

'_You will be a good boy...you will stand still...and I am going to ruin your suit' Jack smiled with undisguised aggression._

_Ianto struggled slightly as he realised Jack's intention, this was his favourite suit. But the struggle just excited Jack more and he increased the pressure on the arm holding Ianto in place and sped up the movement of their hands._

'_Stand still...let me do it Ianto..be a good boy' Jack's voice was strangled with need._

'_Let me Ianto...arrh...let me'_

_His head fell into Ianto's chest as he felt his cock expand and erupt and he watched his own come spurt onto Ianto's trousers. He slowed and eventually stopped his strokes, released Ianto's hand and stood up properly to remove his arm from across his chest. Jack looked up at Ianto with a smug grin on his face to be met with a grim expression on Ianto's own. He gave him a small smile._

'_It can go on the account Ianto...dry cleaning...and Owen's video game' he offered._

'_You are getting altogether too good at using my sexual appetites to get you own way' he continued as Ianto looked at him smugly 'you are turning into something of a slut' he added._

'_Perhaps you should punish me sir' said Ianto in a tone of innocence such as a grown man should not be able to achieve._

_Jack laughed and conceded defeat._

'_Ianto Jones you really will be the death of me' he smiled._

_Ianto smiled with him, he had got what he wanted and wasn't nearly as annoyed as he pretended to be, but he knew it added to Jack's pleasure if he thought Ianto was grieved about his clothes._

TWTWTW

Owen was sitting in his med lab working on his computer and muttering under his breath. He was trying to analyse various samples taken from an alien they had caught and killed the week before.

He was determined to discover what the traces of an unidentified compound in its blood were. The compound was unknown to earth science and Owen was having difficulty discovering both its origins and its uses.

Never one to give up easily Owen had been devising more and more new tests to subject his samples too, and was working long hours reviewing his results.

Ianto took him the new video game that he had left the hub especially to purchase. He knew that Owen needed to relax even if he could not sleep, for his mental well being. Owen had no physical needs but mentally he had plenty. He needed amusement t o keep from being constantly bored especially with all the extra time that not being able to sleep gave him.

He also needed the company and concern of his friends but was, if anything, even more reluctant to admit this than he had been when alive. At least then he could pretend his need for company was purely sexual, now that excuse was no longer feasible but he actually needed to be around people more. Now he needed actual relationships rather than just casual shags.

'I'm busy' he insisted when Ianto waggled the game in front of his face.

'No you're not' answered Ianto 'these tests will wait but your ability to hold back your temper will not...take a break Owen...for all our sakes' he added.

'Get lost Ianto...what would you know about anything to do with me..what do you know about mental needs...what do you know about anything that is not food or coffee related or to do with how Jack likes to be shagged' sneered Owen.

Owen was feeling desperate about his lack of ability to eat, drink, shag or any of the other myriad physical sensations he had once enjoyed so freely. He was actually grateful for Ianto's thoughtful gesture he just couldn't bring himself to show it. He needed to take it out on someone and Ianto was nearest and least likely to take offence.

But today Ianto seethed. He knew Owen was getting frustrated by his inability to discover anything of use from his samples, but sometimes he wished he would take out his bad temper on someone else. It was Owen's way of coping, Ianto knew that, but it didn't stop him becoming upset by the constant digs. Ianto got his breathing under control and gulped down his anger, he had tried to help his friend and it had been thrown back in his face, along with insults for good measure.

'Go and be the captain's comforter...that's what you're employed for' Owen had a final dig.

He watched Ianto wince at that one and felt a slight pang of remorse. Ianto was the only one who remembered Owen's condition and tried to help whilst being unobtrusive. Gwen and Jack were usually too wrapped up in themselves to give it thought and Toshiko tried too hard, achieving little beyond aggravating Owen's already fragile mental state. Owen sighed, he would get around to apologising later.

On his way to the kitchen Ianto stopped at Gwen's workstation when he noticed how tense she appeared to be.

'Gwen? You ok?' he asked.

'Yeah. Got to go and speak to the Thompson's this afternoon. How do you tell a father and son that their mother and wife have been eaten by a rampaging alien?' she asked.

'Well' smiled Ianto 'perhaps you should leave out the alien part'

Gwen smiled back at him.

'Yeah..I kinda figured that part' she replied.

'Maybe...' Ianto was about to give Gwen his opinion on how to break bad news to people when she interrupted him in exasperation.

'Ianto I'm not seriously asking you. After all I did train for this in the police. I don't need your advice'

She turned away effectively dismissing him. Ianto stood for a moment nonplussed. He knew that Gwen had received training for these situations but that didn't mean he had no experience, that he couldn't understand grief.

Gwen should know that. She had seen him grieve for Lisa, she knew he had lost his father. She didn't have to take his advice, but neither did she need to dismiss it so thoughtlessly.

Ianto turned back to his kitchen duties a little sadly. Owen treating him with contempt he could live with, few people earned Owen's respect, but he had thought the other members of the team liked and appreciated him. He and Gwen had always been friendly despite her sometimes obvious desire for Jack. This was turning into an even worse day than he had expected.

Ianto returned to his kitchen and began to prepare sandwiches and salads for the team. As usual he had everyone's favourite ingredients, and prepared them all with the utmost care, delivering them to each person's desk to save them the trouble of moving.

Gwen managed 'mmph' when he delivered hers, but Toshiko looked up eagerly and said a genuine

'Thank you Ianto'

Ianto began to imagine there was at least one team member who appreciated him. He looked over Toshiko's shoulder at the programme she was running.

'Looks interesting Tosh...what is it?' he asked thinking to show some interest in her concerns that he knew she would not get from the others.

'Hmm...it is interesting...but you wouldn't understand it Ianto so I won't bother to explain'

This was too much, even Toshiko, the one person apart from Jack that he felt genuinely close to was dismissing his abilities. He looked at the screen again.

'Well I can see the graph represents a time/space continuum and the formulae suggest you are working on rift wavelengths and the likelihood of them overlapping somewhere on the continuum. The calculations suggest you are trying to work out future predictions on overlaps and their significance for rift spikes and activity' he said somewhat huffily.

Toshiko looked up at him in surprise.

'That's just from a brief glimpse of that one screen...but you're right Tosh...I probably wouldn't understand' and without waiting for a reply Ianto stormed off to take Jack his lunch.

Jack was busy writing reports and completing paperwork. He looked up at Ianto and smiled and Ianto felt his bad humour fade away. He placed Jack's lunch on the table and sat on the edge to have a brief conversation.

Jack placed a warm hand on Ianto's thigh.

'This looks great, thank you' he said indicating the food.

'Problems?' asked Ianto pointing at the paperwork Jack was obviously having difficulty completing.

'No..just boring' said Jack pushing the notes away from him.

Ianto looked at him.

'Well it's obviously upset you...so share' he said.

'Not the sort of thing I need to share with the team..just need to get it done' replied Jack.

'I'm not asking you to share with the team...I'm asking you to share with me...let me in Jack..let me help' said Ianto.

Jack stood up and pulled Ianto to his feet, drew him into a hug and added a surreptitious grope of his arse for good measure.

'You help me in much better ways' he whispered huskily into Ianto's ear.

Ianto could not help but smile and return the hug. He kissed Jack gently then looked him in the eyes and said.

'Sometimes captain I would like to be more than a member of the team, you claim to love me and yet seem determined to share so little' he said 'I'm not just the captain's comforter' he finished remembering Owen's snide remark.

Jack looked at him.

'I share lots with you Ianto..more than I have with anyone else for such a long time..and I want to share more but you always insist on putting me off' said Jack getting annoyed.

Jack could not understand why Ianto would say such things to him. He had no desire to share boring paperwork with the man but he did want to share other things in his life and yet it was Ianto who always denied them this, so why was he saying these things?

Ianto knew he was being unreasonable. Jack was right he did try to share more than Ianto was always comfortable with and it was always Ianto who called a halt to such sharing. Ianto was not really upset with Jack for not talking to him about paperwork, he was upset with the rest of the team and taking it out on the person closest to him. He knew how unfair he was being, but the insults of the team had finally broken his reserve.

Ianto was finally reacting to being overlooked by the whole team. He felt unable to stop being annoyed with Jack and unable to explain the real problem to him.

The problem was Lisa.

'Ianto?' said Jack carefully 'Shelby's florists rang your phone' he indicated the phone lying on the desk where Ianto had left it earlier.

'They want to know if the address for the flowers was 36 or 56 Royale Way..' Jack waited for a reaction.

'Oh...' said Ianto a little nervously 'I'll ring them back' and he made to pick up his phone. Jack caught his wrist as he did so.

'Ianto...why are you sending flowers to London?' he asked.

Ianto took a deep breath, he hadn't really wanted anyone to know what day it was and he didn't really want to discuss this with Jack.

'They are for Lisa' he said quietly.

Jack's eyebrows raised slightly in surprise.

'Ianto..Lisa is dead' he said softly.

'I know that Jack...the flowers have gone to her mother...it's Lisa's birthday today...her mother is all alone...I want her to know someone remembers..someone else misses her...someone else wishes she were still here' he said emotion creeping into his voice.

Jack looked down to shield Ianto from seeing the hurt on his face. It shouldn't bother him but it did. Lisa was still in Ianto's thoughts, he still wanted her.

'I want her back Jack...I want that life we were planning' he whispered.

'But now I feel guilty' he looked up into his captain's face 'because I think I want you more' he finished as tears filled his eyes.

'I feel like I'm letting her go...like her memory is slipping through my fingers... and I can't make up my mind to clutch tighter...as if I'm allowing it to happen...I should be clinging on to her Jack and I'm not sure I want to any more...I disgust myself...I have no loyalty' he sobbed.

Jack stood and pulled his lover into his arms and just held him for a while until Ianto started to pull away.

'Letting go is alright Ianto...you're not forgetting her...you're just living your life...that's not disloyal..that's normal' Jack whispered.

'Sorry...didn't mean to say all that...just the others' Ianto indicated out of the window 'they've not helped...I try hard to do things for them and today it's been thrown back at me..doesn't usually bother me..but today..' he left it hanging.

Jack wondered what exactly had occurred between Ianto and other team members to make him feel upset and determined to get to the bottom of it.

'You had all this hanging over you and you still worried about getting Owen his new game' Jack marvelled.

Ianto shrugged.

'He needs distracting..he has too much time now and not enough things he likes that he can still do'

Jack contemplated the amazing man in front of him. He could not resist.

'Ianto...I'm sorry...I need to know...I'm sorry...do you really want me more than your old life with Lisa?' asked Jack.

The two men looked at each other. Ianto knew Jack was asking for some confirmation of his feelings, he knew Jack wanted a declaration of love. Ianto had put off this declaration for so long it now felt enormous, something he couldn't say because the implications were too big. He wished he had said it long ago when he didn't feel it, so that he could have got used to the words, now his mouth would not form the words and his tongue would stumble over their pronunciation.

He knew he had to give something to Jack. He wanted to.

'If she were here now.. and I had the choice.. it would break my heart' he said looking down, but then he looked back up into Jack's eyes.

'But I would choose you' he finished quietly.

Jack felt the tears well in his eyes. He had achieved his aim of surpassing Lisa but he did not feel the triumph he had expected, just an overwhelming need and desire for the man before him. He would find a way to make him feel better, make everybody in the hub appreciate him more.

Ianto...take the day off..do something for yourself' Jack insisted.

'But Jack...there are things that need doing' objected Ianto.

'And someone else can do them' insisted Jack 'in fact take tomorrow as well and I'll brandish the whip over this lot and get them to pull their weight around here and stop taking you for granted'

Ianto still looked doubtful.

'Please Ianto...I think we all need to think about the way we treat each other and our roles...you're not just the butler anymore yet you still do all those things and we take advantage...a couple of days without you will help us all to see that' begged Jack.

Ianto nodded. It would be good to take some time away, he always seemed to be here and maybe it was time for the other team members to realise how much he did. The easiest way to show them that, would be to stop doing it for a short time.

He turned sadly out of the room. Only Jack noticed him leave.

TWTWTW

Two days later saw Gwen, Owen Toshiko and Jack in foul moods at the hub. Ianto had not been in to work since he left at the start of his shift forty eight hours ago, only Jack knew why.

The team had figured that they had all upset Ianto and Jack had given them individually a dressing down and then another as a team. They needed to respect each other's areas of expertise and that meant Ianto as well. Since Jack had returned Ianto had been out in the field almost as much as any of them and yet they still thought of him as the office help. He still did all his butler duties but was now a more active member of the team as well, Ianto did more than any of them and they were beginning to realise it. They were certainly getting to know Ianto's areas of expertise and were suffering in his absence.

No one had had a decent cup of coffee since he had left, only instant had been available as Jack had insisted no one touch Ianto's coffee machine. He knew he had been most at fault. Ianto would have suffered the indifference of the others but Jack's casual dismissal of his offer of help had been the straw that broke the camel's back. He should have noticed that something out of the ordinary was bothering Ianto and he was annoyed with himself that he hadn't, he was trying to put that right.

Owen was smashing around in the med lab and swearing to himself.

'What?!' Jack eventually screamed down at him.

'No clean scalpels or retractors' shouted Owen back to him.

'Why not?' asked Jack.

'Bloody teaboy normally sticks them in the autoclave, and he's not bloody here. He's sitting on his arse somewhere sulking' said Owen.

'Unlike you who are sitting in the lab sulking because he's not done something that is technically part of your job description' threw back Jack.

He was becoming increasingly annoyed with the other team members as it became more obvious just how much work Ianto had done around the hub and just how much of it had technically been the responsibility of others.

Gwen and Toshiko reappeared after going to interview a couple who were reportedly in contact with what they were claiming was an alien spacecraft.

'The pair of them are bonkers' reported Gwen 'I swear the police only sent us to investigate for a laugh. The couple are at least eighty and their 'contact' was interference on their radio. Tosh retuned it for them' she said exasperated.

'We ran out of petrol on the way there' said Toshiko 'I've never thought about putting petrol in the SUV before'

'And it's not been cleaned after we bought in those two weevils yesterday. It stunk to high heaven and there was blood all over the seats' moaned Gwen.

'More stuff that Ianto usually does then' Jack pointed out with a distinct lack of sympathy.

Jack noticed the team looking slightly ashamed of themselves, they were all beginning to appreciate Ianto and his abilities. Toshiko came over to him.

'We all need to use Ianto's _language of looking after_ don't we?' she said 'I'm sorry Jack...and I will tell him so when he returns...please give him a hug from me' she finished.

Jack looked at her and smiled, he knew Toshiko was articulating things they all felt but she was probably the only one who would voice them. At least he felt satisfied that they were all learning the necessary lesson.

TWTWTW

'Oh God if I see one more pizza I will be sick' moaned Gwen 'I'm sure I've put on weight since Ianto left. No decent food just endless takeaways, is not good for weight or morale' she continued.

'Still missing Ianto then' spat Jack from the door of his office.

Jack was still angry. None of them had realised just how much the smooth running of the hub was almost entirely down to Ianto. More than anything though Jack had not realised how much he took Ianto for granted himself. Ianto always filed his paperwork for him, and often completed that which overwhelmed Jack with boredom. Ianto also knew where to find anything Jack wanted to see. Any file, any artefact, any reference to anything rift related or Torchwood related Ianto would be able to find quickly. Jack was surprised by how much he had come to rely on this ability.

He found he was missing his Welshman and not just for the sexual services he provided so willingly. He missed being able to share thoughts after the team had left at night, he missed warm arms that hugged when words were not enough after another nightmare day, he missed the care that Ianto gave him. He loved him and wanted him back where he belonged, in the hub and in his captain's bed. He had not contacted Ianto since he left, thinking to give the man some space but he was definitely going home to see him tonight.

Each member of the team were also surprised at how much they missed Ianto, not just for what he did for them but because they missed his capacity to listen and at least pretend to be interested. Ianto listened to each one of them as they spouted about their own speciality, told them how good they were at their jobs and sympathised with their frustrations.

Even the aliens were missing Ianto. Myfanwy was positively pining and Janet had not eaten properly since he left.

The team had been at each other's throats for the last twenty four hours. Without Ianto there to deflect everybody's bad humour and to conciliate in disputes, petty grievances had grown until hardly a civil word was to be had from anybody.

Ianto was always a centre of calm in the hub, a stabilising presence. He was never seen to be in a hurry, never stumped by a problem and never lost his temper. They were fast learning that he was in fact the lynchpin that held the whole team together and allowed them to operate at maximum efficiency.

When the air conditioning broke down late on the second day they were all ready to cry. Jack sent a text to Ianto.

'What did teaboy say about the air conditioning?' asked Owen.

Jack glared at him.

'I didn't ask him about the air con' he seethed 'I told him we miss him...and I told him I love him'

The other three looked at Jack in shock.

'There was no need to go overboard Jack. You shouldn't tell him things that you don't mean' said Gwen in amazement.

Jack's glare turned to be cast upon her.

'I do mean it...it's not the first time I've told him....maybe we should all show our appreciation more vocally and more often' he sneered.

There was a shocked silence in the hub. Gwen had not realised how deep the relationship between the two men had run. Toshiko had seen the looks that denoted more than a casual sexual interest in each other but had honestly never expected Jack to voice such emotions.

Only Owen had observed the full extent of the relationship. He had time on his hands now and often spent it speculating on the other team members. He had noticed how they treated each other. He knew the captain cared for Ianto a great deal but he was still surprised he would tell the team that.

Jack was looking mildly disconcerted at his revelation to the team. He was worried about what Ianto's reaction would be to his confession. He didn't care what the other three thought.

Owen considered this new development, Jack was a presence, enigmatic, charming and irrepressible, if Ianto had drawn confessions of love from this man then he was obviously much more fascinating than Owen gave him credit for.

Toshiko suddenly grinned widely at Jack and Jack smiled back knowing she was pleased. Gwen was not.

'But Jack...it's Ianto' she said in surprise, she had always assumed that Ianto would be the one to make announcements.

'Yes Gwen it's Ianto...a brilliant, witty, charming and self effacing man who is deeply under appreciated. I love him...and Torchwood needs him...when he returns tomorrow I suggest you all let him know how sorry you are' he snarled.

TWTWTW

Jack turned the key in the door and stepped into the hallway breathing a sigh of relief when he saw Ianto's coat hanging on the hook. He was home. Jack tried to step lightly up the stairs to Ianto's bedroom, standing at the doorway and watching him asleep in the bed.

'It's creepy you standing watching from the doorway' came a small voice from the bed.

Jack smiled, Ianto was not asleep after all.

'I didn't know if I would be welcome' he admitted in hushed tones.

'You are always welcome here Jack...I gave you a key..now get in to bed' said Ianto.

Jack stripped in double quick time and slid under the covers meeting Ianto's equally naked flesh.

'I didn't know if you were still my Ianto' said Jack.

Ianto smiled remembering their conversation when he had given Jack the key.

'I don't think I will ever be anyone else's Ianto ever again' he whispered snuggling backwards into Jack.

Jack grinned, he was edging Ianto ever closer to admitting his love, but for tonight he was happy to see his Welshman and to be in his arms once more. Ianto had told him he was more important than Lisa, that Jack would be his choice, he didn't need more than that.

'Are you still mad?...they're all really sorry...I'm sorry' said Jack.

'No I'm over it...it was stupid to get so annoyed..I know they didn't mean to be insensitive...I don't really know why it suddenly got to me...just anniversaries..you know?' admitted Ianto.

'Yeah...I know' said Jack softly.

'We can have anniversaries of our own' he continued 'our first kiss, our first date, the first time I stayed at your house...they will be the same as everybody else's...the same as you had with Lisa... and yet still unique to us' he finished quietly.

Ianto looked at him and realised the truth behind what he was being told.

'Yeah...maybe' he agreed.

'The hub has gone into meltdown without you and even Owen is desperate to have you back' Jack continued.

'Oh God...the hub is a mess isn't it?...I'm going to be days clearing up' sighed Ianto.

'Certainly not' hissed Jack 'do you seriously think I would allow them to get away with leaving everything for your return...they have all helped and all is shipshape' he finished.

Ianto was facing away from Jack and Jack curled around him, hugging him and beginning to kiss his neck. He kissed and licked just below his ears whispering.

'Come back...I need you...let me love you Ianto'

Ianto rolled over to look at him properly.

'My type of shipshape or yours' he asked pointedly refusing to allow Jack's kissing and nibbling to have the desired effect until he got a straight answer.

Jack shrugged.

'Probably mine...but we've all tried'

He passed his arms around Ianto and pulled him closer.

'Please come back...I miss you' he put his fingers to Ianto's lips 'not what you do...not filing or filling the SUV with petrol or feeding us, or finding files...I miss you'

'I missed you too' breathed Ianto.

They came together in a soft kiss that was full of sorrow for lost time and desire to make up for it. Tongues licked against lips and then against each other and the two men pulled closer feeling each other along the length of their bodies.

Ianto breathed in deeply relishing the unique smell that was his captain. Lisa had always smelt slightly of honeysuckle and he had loved that. Jack's scent was indescribable and Ianto just breathed him in, nuzzling into his neck and taking comfort in being back where he belonged.

Heads moved to the side and necks were subjected to kissing and licking as the two became increasingly aroused by the proximity of the other. They both lay on their sides facing each other with legs entangled so that their groins could be pushed together.

They continued kissing languidly rubbing erections together and becoming ever more excited. Jack took hold of Ianto's hand and entwined their fingers, taking both their hands and wrapping them around their cocks bringing the two into even closer contact and creating a channel for them to thrust into.

Looking into each other's eyes they began to thrust into their linked hands, tongues coming out to twist together and lick against the other, heightening the pleasure.

They began to thrust more strongly, finding a rhythm that suited them both and pushing together, feeling not only their hands but each other's hard cocks rubbing and straining together. Breathing quickened as both men began to lose a little control. Ianto's fingers on his spare hand were digging into Jack's bicep and holding tighter with every thrust.

'Jack' whispered Ianto getting closer to orgasm.

'Do it Ianto...I'm right with you' gasped Jack.

Thrusting lost all semblance of rhythm now as it became impossible for them to stay in sequence with each other. They were both struggling towards release and loosing themselves in the pleasure.

Suddenly Ianto stilled and Jack felt his cock swell and burst next to his, felt his come hit his chest and stomach. It was all that was needed to send Jack over the top and with two more erratic thrusts he joined Ianto in bliss pulling the other man towards him as he pushed his groin forward in completion.

The two lay panting for a few moments recovering.

'Ow..Jack ow!' gasped Ianto trying to pull away gingerly from the other man.

'Sorry...' whispered Jack reluctantly releasing his hold on their now too sensitive cocks.

They lay looking at each other and smiling, pleased to be back together.

'I spoke to friends from my London days yesterday' Ianto whispered.

Ianto watched troubled thoughts cross Jack's mind and despite the sticky mess between them he pulled Jack closer to him.

'I told them about you' he whispered.

Jack's face lit up. Ianto must be moving on to tell Lisa's friends that he had a new relationship.

'What did they say?' he asked wondering suddenly if they would disapprove and how Ianto would deal with that.

'About time' said Ianto.

'What?' asked Jack in confusion.

'They said it was about time...that I moved on...they said it was ok to keep living...to never forget..but to love again' whispered Ianto.

He had been surprised at their reactions. Some of the people he had spoken to had been friends of Lisa before they became friends of his and he had wondered how they would take the news. Yet every last one of them had been pleased, had told him he was doing the right thing, even that Lisa would not want him to mourn forever and would approve. Ianto doubted this, but then thought of his Lisa and how kind and generous she had been and realised she probably would want him to be happy. It had been a startling realisation.

He had been longing to see Jack ever since. Ianto had looked down whilst talking but now looked up at Jack again to gauge his reaction.

'Then I'm glad you talked to them' admitted Jack.

Jack became suddenly serious.

'Ianto...I know what it is to lose someone you love...how hard it can be to put yourself in a position to be hurt again' he whispered holding the other man's hand in his own.

'But over my long life...well ...I've realised that sometimes the joy is worth the inevitable pain...and for me it will always be inevitable' he gulped and tried to force down the emotions.

'I _will_ lose you...I know that...if you don't leave, then eventually you will die..even if that's sixty years from now it _will_ happen...but I want you...I want you enough to suffer the eventual pain...you don't have to have that pain ever again...I will never leave you and I can't die, it's safe for you to love me' Jack's voice wavered with need.

Ianto smiled at him.

'In sixty years I will be an old man...if I live that long...would you really still want me?' he asked with a slightly incredulous tone.

'Ianto...why must everyone insist on me being shallow? You'll still be you...I love you...I wish I knew how to convince you...yes it was your looks and sexy suits that first attracted me to you...but you don't fall in love with the way someone looks..it takes more than that..if that's all it was, you would have been a casual fuck..instead of which you are a major part of my life'

Ianto stopped Jack's tirade with a kiss.

'Ianto.. do you really believe I'm shallow enough to leave if and when you look older than me?' he asked fervently.

'I don't know Jack...you said yourself you left lovers before so that you wouldn't see them get old' said Ianto.

'No!..' Jack almost shouted.

'I said I left so that they wouldn't see me _not _get old...nobody before you has known about..me..you do..you know I won't get old..I don't have to leave to stop you being scared..it's different this time' Jack was begging to be believed.

'Our lives are so different' sighed Ianto 'our experiences have been so different'

Ianto had a sudden revelation. He and Jack needed to build some memories together, they needed their own anniversaries just as Jack had told him. He needed to stop remembering all the things he had done with Lisa and think instead of all the things he had done with Jack.

If this was a relationship then he needed to think about it in those terms and start building a memory bank filled with all the things they had done and said together. Their shared life, their shared experiences, their shared pleasures be they physical or otherwise.

'We need some point of joint experience..tell me about your childhood..you said you grew up with mom, dad and a brother in a small community...that sounds like my childhood..tell me about it..let's see what we share' offered Ianto.

Jack told him. He talked of Boeshane and his family and the other families, of the games they had played, the petty grievances and the shared joys. Ianto laughed with him and told him of similar experiences in his own childhood, marvelling that, separated by three millennia young boys could still find joy in many of the same things.

They discovered something that night. They discovered shared memories, things they had both experienced even though separated by thousands of years. They discovered the ways in which they needed each other and that whilst the past would always be a part of their lives it did not need to detract from what they had now.

They discovered each other.

Ianto discovered a new love.


	13. Chapter 13

"We carry on..."

TWTWTW

Gwen had not been into the hub for any length of time for the last three weeks. Three weeks since the world had ended. Well not _the _world, just the world of Torchwood. Beautiful Toshiko had died right there in the hub, bleeding to death as they watched, unable to stop it. Owen had died or disintegrated or decomposed or whatever it had been in nuclear power station, was probably still disintegrating for all Ianto knew. The thought left him nauseated. He missed Owen.

TWTWTW

_Ianto had gracefully accepted the apologies of the girls when he arrived back at work after his two days unexpected leave. Toshiko had hugged him tight and Gwen had pulled him into her arms briefly before pushing him back to look at him more fully. Ianto had quirked an eyebrow at her, wondering what it was she was seeing, her stare was that intense. She had suddenly smiled and looked away with a tear in her eye. He had looked to Toshiko for explanation but she had just rolled her eyes and Ianto was left wondering._

_Owen had not greeted him and was busy in his med lab. Ianto shrugged, he had never expected Owen to apologise and was not even sure he wanted him too. He would rather just carry on and forget the whole thing. He had moved on._

_He walked towards his kitchen, slowing to smile up at Jack already in his office. Jack winked at him as he passed by and Ianto looked down to hide his shy smile at the gesture. He switched on the coffee maker._

'_You don't have to do that Ianto' said Gwen from her workstation._

'_I know' he answered._

'_We could all make our own' offered Toshiko._

'_Really?...but would it be the same?' he asked._

'_No!' both girls admitted, secretly rather relieved that Ianto was willing to resume coffee making duties, as nothing they could make came close to the pleasure induced by Ianto's creations._

_Ianto continued with his coffee making preparations until he became aware of a presence behind him. He turned suddenly his breath catching and tutting loudly when he saw Owen standing close to him._

'_Owen...what are you doing? Scared me half to death' he gasped._

'_We're a secret, alien fighting organisation and you get freaked out by a teammate standing too close?' laughed Owen._

'_Well I'm not primed ready for an attack when I'm working the coffee machine' retaliated Ianto but he smiled with him._

'_Ianto' began Owen 'what I said about you being the captain's comforter'_

'_Yes?' frowned Ianto, he hoped Owen wasn't going to start this again._

'_I'm sorry' announced Owen._

_Ianto actually gaped at him, not once in all the time he had known Owen had he ever heard him apologise, and he had seen him say and do things that really needed an apology._

'_What?' asked Owen when Ianto just continued to stare at him._

'_You just apologised to me' grinned Ianto._

'_Yeah...well..' stuttered Owen._

'_You...apologised...to...me' said Ianto unable to keep from laughing._

_Owen smiled at him._

'_Get over it teaboy..it's not gonna happen again' he said._

_Owen looked down and then back up at Ianto with a serious look on his face._

'_Ianto...you remind me of my Katie' he said._

_Ianto looked at him slightly startled. Whilst Jack had been away Owen and Ianto had been out drinking once or twice and Owen had talked of Katie._

'_You are kind and generous...you always think of others' he continued 'and you're very sexy' he added with a sneaky laugh._

'_Welcome back Ianto...I missed you' he finished and walked away._

_Ianto just stared after him open mouthed and shocked beyond measure._

TWTWTW

Ianto gulped down the tears as he remembered the day that Owen had spoken to him. It was only a couple of days later when they got the call to the warehouse with the bombs set by John Hart. But in those few days Ianto had felt closer to Owen than at any time since Jack had returned. He was glad they had had those days together so that he could look back and remember and not regret.

He missed the moody medic more than he would have believed possible, missed his snarky remarks and snide comments. Torchwood desperately needed a new doctor but Jack could not be persuaded to look out for a replacement for either of their lost teammates just yet.

Beautiful and brave Toshiko.

What could you say about a woman who was as intelligent as she was, looked fabulous and who could bleed to death whilst trying to save a friend who was already beyond help. Ianto did not think he would ever get over Toshiko's loss. He had been closer to her than anyone apart from Jack. They were both self contained and broken souls and had often found consolation in each other's company. He missed Toshiko. The night after his first official date with Jack, he and Toshiko had been out together. Ianto lost himself in memory once more.

TWTWTW

_Toshiko and Ianto fell through his front door giggling like a couple of teenagers. They were both slightly drunk, well more than slightly if truth be told. Toshiko carried a Chinese take away and Ianto carried further beer supplies. They headed for Ianto's kitchen and began setting out crockery and dispensing food onto plates. Ianto had never been drunk enough to eat straight from cartons or drink straight from bottles. He had to do so at work sometimes, but never in his own home. Toshiko enjoyed the formality that went with dining at Ianto's, even when they were giggling and silly._

_Ianto handed Toshiko a glass of beer and Toshiko pushed the rice over to Ianto's plate._

'_So are you going to tell me how the date went Ianto, or am I going to have to torture it out of you?' asked Toshiko. _

_Ianto smiled shyly at her and replied._

'_It was amazing Tosh' _

'_Yeah?' asked Toshiko._

'_Oh yeah' responded Ianto and they collapsed into laughter again._

'_I know you stayed the night' stated Toshiko._

_Ianto looked at her sharply._

'_How do you know that?.. and what about Gwen and Owen do they know too?' he demanded._

_Toshiko rolled her eyes at him._

'_Gwen never sees what she doesn't want to see, you know that' she answered._

_Ianto smiled, he knew Gwen fancied Jack._

'_What about Owen?' he asked._

'_Owen doesn't see anything that doesn't involve Owen' stated Toshiko sadly._

'_Yeah... he's such a prat' said Ianto and they both laughed into their beer._

'_Really Tosh... Owen is a prat not to see what he could have...brains, beauty, a great friend and a great shag all in one cute Japanese package' _

_Toshiko spluttered into her beer._

'_Thanks Ianto, but how would you know I'm a great shag?' she laughed._

'_Aren't you?' he asked._

'_Oh yes' answered Toshiko straight faced, then they both collapsed into giggles yet again._

_They attacked the food with appreciation and put all the crockery into the sink._

'_Are you not going to wash up Ianto?' teased_ _Toshiko._

'_No leave it' said Ianto._

_Toshiko looked at him in surprise._

'_You're going to get up early in the morning and do it aren't you?' she asked._

'_Yep' admitted Ianto shamefacedly._

'_I love you Ianto Jones' laughed Toshiko putting her arms around his waist and kissing him on the forehead._

'_Yeah...me too' he answered smiling and hugging her back._

'_Come on let's go and watch the late night shopping channels' he finished._

_They raced each other to the lounge and settled down together comfortably to giggle their way through an hour of ridiculous gadgets and sales persons._

TWTWTW

Ianto smiled to himself remembering that night and how both he and Toshiko had terrible hangovers the following day at work. They had not spent so much time together after that, he and Jack had become closer and Toshiko had accepted second place with her usual grace and goodwill. Ianto fiddled endlessly with his computer not really doing anything, just monitoring rift activity and losing himself in remembering better times.

He felt a presence next to him before he felt the hand on his shoulder.

'Take a break Ianto...make us both a coffee and come talk to me in my office' said Jack.

Ianto looked up at his lover and nodded. Ten minutes later he joined Jack in his office and placed the cups on his desk. Jack stood up and came around the furniture to hug him. He nuzzled into his lover's shoulder taking comfort in the familiar smell. Jack placed small kisses over Ianto's neck until he joined their lips together in a soft kiss. The kiss slowly became more passionate as tongues slipped past teeth to twist together and lick lips. They broke apart and Jack pressed their foreheads together and panted softly.

'We need to do this properly'

Ianto gave a small laugh.

'Oh yes we do captain...but sadly we do not have the time' he replied.

'We do tonight' said Jack 'I spoke to Gwen...she's coming back full time...she's ready...and she also said we need time off and she will look after the rift tonight'

'That's good of her Jack...but will she be alright alone?...that's probably not the best idea' said Ianto shaking his head sadly.

'She won't be alone...Rhys is coming with her...and we'll leave our phones on...we won't go far...but we will go Ianto...we need to' said Jack.

Ianto had raised his eyebrows at the mention of Rhys but he supposed it made sense. He and Jack desperately needed time away from the hub. Rhys might not be a trained Torchwood operative but he would be company for Gwen and the best person to stop her from grieving too overtly. He might be able to help her through the initial return to work. Although she had been into the hub several times in the last three weeks she had always left within a couple of hours, unable to cope with the memories of Toshiko and Owen. Now she was returning to work properly and maybe what was left of the team could begin to move forward.

'What shall we do then captain?' asked Ianto.

'We will go to dinner and then back to my house for some hot sex' smiled Jack.

Ianto looked down and laughed. He and Jack had had sex in the last three weeks but it had been a release of tension, a physical need, they had not really connected since that terrible night. It would be nice to be together again, to love each other rather than just use each other.

'Ok' agreed Ianto smiling up at him.

'Ianto go home...Gwen will be here soon...go home and shower and change and I'll pick you up in an hour'

Ianto nodded, he hadn't been to his flat for over a week, had barely left the hub in that time. He needed a change of clothes and a change of scene. He started to move away.

'Hey!..' shouted Jack.

Ianto looked back at him.

'Wear something sexy' Jack winked at him.

Ianto achieved a genuine smile at that comment, Jack was getting back to his cheeky self.

TWTWTW

An hour later saw Jack using his key to enter Ianto's house. He found his lover showered and dressed but sat at his table completing some paperwork.

'That had better not be from the hub' said Jack in a warning tone.

'No' answered Ianto with a smile 'it's a new lease for this place...the old one runs out next week so I need to get this back...thought we could post it on our way out if I finished it before we left' he continued.

'No' said Jack.

'No?' questioned Ianto 'Jack there's a post box at the end of the road...it won't take a moment to stop the car and post it' he added reasonably.

Jack sat at the table and looked at Ianto.

'I mean no.. don't renew it' he explained.

'Jack...' objected Ianto 'I know we've spent the last few weeks at the hub...but things will get back to normal eventually...I need somewhere to live Jack'

'You have somewhere to live...with me...not at the hub..at my house. Come on Ianto...life is too short..the last few weeks have shown us that...let's be together while we can..we don't need two places' he pleaded whilst holding onto Ianto's hands.

'It's a big place...you can have your own room if you like...privacy and all that...please' he finished.

Ianto looked down whilst he considered his options. It did make sense to only have one place, they rarely spent time apart now, always staying at one place or the other and Jack's house was lovely. But giving up his independence was a big step. However Jack was right, losing Toshiko and Owen had shown him that he should grab happiness while he could.

Jack watched the emotions play over Ianto's face. He knew it was a big step to take and perhaps neither of them would have thought of it had it not been for the lease, but it made sense. Losing Toshiko and Owen had merely reminded Jack that he would lose Ianto eventually and he wanted to make the most of their time together. Jack hadn't wanted to fall in love again, he had been hurt so many times, but once it had happened he knew from painful experience that grabbing as much happiness from it as possible was the way to go. There was nothing worse than looking back and regretting lost time. Jack had been there. When Ianto died he wanted to be able to look back and know they had made the most of their time together.

Ianto suddenly looked up at him, decision made. He took the paperwork for the lease renewal and slowly tore it into two. Jack grinned at him.

'I still don't want to pick out curtains' warned Ianto smiling.

'Pack a bag with as much as possible and we'll put it in the car and take it with us tonight...come back for the rest later' Jack said smiling back at him.

Ianto jumped up to find a suitcase, throwing clothes and personal possessions in a haphazard manner that rather startled Jack, he had never known Ianto be anything less than neat. He looked at him quizzically.

'I've never lived with someone before Jack...this way I can concentrate on worrying about the mess rather than how big a deal this is' said Ianto apologetically.

Jack laughed and Ianto shrugged and continued packing. He dragged the suitcase out of the bedroom and into the living room to pack the last few pieces. He picked up a photograph frame with a picture of himself and Lisa in it. Ianto looked at the picture for a long moment and replaced it on the coffee table. Jack picked it up.

'Pack it Ianto...bring it with you' he said holding it out to the other man.

Ianto raised his eyebrows in question and Jack closed the distance between them.

'You'll bring her with you in here' he said touching Ianto's head 'and in here' he continued placing his hand gently over Ianto's heart 'so put her in the suitcase too...she's part of you..I know that..and I wouldn't have you think I want you to forget' he finished.

Ianto looked at him with mild surprise but then nodded and packed the photograph. He closed the lid of the case and looked up at his captain. They grinned at each other and ran for the door.

TWTWTW

Dinner had been great. They had enjoyed being away from the hub and in each other's company. They had spent almost the whole of the last three weeks together but had rarely found the time to talk properly. It had all been work or sleep and strangely they felt as if they were reunited after an absence.

Back at Jack's house they had unpacked the car taking Ianto's belongings in to his new home. Jack had led him by the hand and shown him a bedroom on the third floor.

'I rarely come up here Ianto...this room is yours...I won't come in here without an invite...if you want to spend time here..or even sleep here..I won't question it...I know you like space and your own company...the rest of the house is ours...but this is yours' he said earnestly.

Ianto appreciated the gesture. He did like space and found it difficult to be around other people constantly, sometimes just needing quiet for an hour or so. It made him feel good that Jack recognised his needs and was prepared to put himself out to fulfil them.

'Thank you' he said 'I don't need to be away from you often...but sometimes your ego does take up too much space' he grinned.

'Cheeky' said Jack playfully slapping him on the arse.

'I think I'd like to put my things in _our_ part of the house for now...maybe save this for later when you are being annoying' Ianto smirked.

They smiled at each other and made their way back down to what Ianto had always thought of as Jack's bedroom, but now he supposed it would be their bedroom. It felt strange to think that way, but a good strange Ianto decided.

Jack threw Ianto's case down on the bedroom floor and pulled the younger man towards him.

'Do you think Gwen is ok at the hub?' asked Ianto.

'Ianto!' exclaimed Jack in a pained voice 'when I am dragging you into my bedroom...intent on some hot man sex...that is not the time to mention either Gwen or the hub'

Ianto grinned at him.

'Sorry sir' he whispered huskily.

Jack rolled his eyes in a very Ianto like gesture and Ianto smiled despite himself.

'This is a good idea isn't it Jack?' he asked.

'It's a little late to be playing the blushing virgin Ianto' grinned Jack as he began to unbutton the other man's shirt.

Ianto laughed.

'I meant the moving in together' he sighed.

Jack looked at him seriously.

'Yes Ianto...it's a very good idea' he said earnestly.

Ianto stepped forward and brushed his lips against his lover's mingling their breaths briefly and then pushing his lips forward more forcefully and licking across Jack's bottom lip, his breath catching as Jack opened his mouth and his tongue darted out to touch Ianto's own.

They broke the kiss and took a half step back from each other. They both began to undress themselves whilst watching the fingers of the other as they exposed skin. This did not stop until both men were naked and half hard already.

Jack took Ianto's hand and led him to lie on the bed.

'Welcome home Ianto' he whispered as they lay down together and snuggled under the soft duvet.

For the first time in three weeks this could be about them as a couple rather than a purely physical release. They spent some time just kissing and nuzzling, entwining hands and reconnecting. After a time Ianto moved to climb on top of Jack, rubbing their cocks together between their bodies. He kissed and bit softly at Jack's neck, hands stroking gently up and down each other's bodies.

'Ianto' breathed Jack.

'Jack..I want to fuck you...can I?...please...let me' begged Ianto breathlessly.

'Yes...yes' gasped Jack arching his back and pushing against Ianto.

Ianto reached over to retrieve lube from the bedside cabinet, his breathing quickening in anticipation. He rolled off Jack slightly so that he could move Jack's legs open and coat both their cocks, making the other man hiss with pleasure as he stroked him. Coating his fingers he began to stroke up and down the crease of Jack's buttocks searching for the small entrance to the other man's body. Teasing when he found it by circling his finger, until he felt Jack's hand grip his arm in encouragement and his hips thrust upwards towards the probing digit.

Ianto pushed and moved the finger into his lover's body twisting until he found the spot that would bring pleasure, smiling into Jack's neck as he heard the other man hiss in satisfaction.

'Come on Ianto...do it now...please...it's been so long...come on' begged Jack.

Ianto was having difficulty holding back and gave up entirely when he heard Jack beg him. He climbed on top of the other man once more and took a brief moment to position himself before plunging into his lover, his breath catching at the sudden heat and tightness around his cock.

'Oh God...please..Ianto..please...fuck me please...come on...come on.. please' Jack was losing control.

'Fuck Jack...I always forget how tight this is' smiled Ianto into his lover's neck.

Jack gave a small laugh causing them both to gasp as his muscles convulsed around Ianto.

'Don't do that again or this is over' panted Ianto trying to hold back orgasm.

Jack wrapped his legs around Ianto's waist in the age old tradition and urged movement by pushing his own hips upwards. Ianto began to move slowly at first wanting to savour the pleasure. He leaned up on his elbows and looked down on Jack's face. He had his eyes closed in enjoyment. Ianto stopped his thrusts.

'Look at me Jack' he whispered.

Jack opened his eyes and locked them with Ianto's own, quickly closing them again, the intimacy was too intense.

Ianto continued shallow thrusts and spoke again.

'Open your eyes Jack...I want you to know it's me doing this to you...I want you to see how much pleasure you give me'

Jack's hands tightened around Ianto's arms and he tried again to open his eyes and see his lover. His breath caught as he saw the love reflected back to him and it just served to increase his enjoyment. One hand left Ianto's arm as he reached between them to grasp his own cock and begin to stroke it.

'Oh God...fuck...fuck' Jack was nearing orgasm.

Ianto's gaze darted between his lover's face and his hand and his own thrusts sped up, quickly becoming erratic as he began to lose control. Both men knew the end was near as their own lust fed the others. Ianto suddenly stopped and arched his back forcing himself further inside Jack's willing body and gave several short shallow thrusts as he reached his peak. Seeing Ianto come sent Jack over the top and he felt his cock swell and burst covering his stomach with hot come.

Still looking at Jack, Ianto lowered his face towards the other man's and kissed him thoroughly.

'You're right' said Ianto.

'About what?' asked Jack as Ianto rolled off him to lie at his side.

'This was a good idea' announced Ianto.

'Yeah' said Jack softly pulling the younger man towards him so that they would relax towards sleep whilst in each other's arms.

TWTWTW

The following morning Jack was awakened by Ianto crashing out of bed shouting 'oh shit' very loudly. As Jack shook himself and tried to imagine what could have happened to so disturb his lover he had a sudden panic. Ianto had decided moving in with him was a bad idea. The young man was freaking out and already making plans to leave.

Jack threw himself out of bed and after Ianto.

'Ianto...calm down...it's ok...this is a good idea remember?...it'll be ok' he shouted as he tried to placate his Welshman.

Ianto hurried back into the bedroom.

'What are you on about Jack?' he asked distractedly as he hauled his suitcase into the middle of the room.

'Are you worried about being here Ianto...it'll be ok' said Jack again.

Ianto stopped what he was doing to look up at his lover's worried face.

'No Jack' he laughed 'I'm not worried about being here...I'm worried about the state of my clothes..I didn't unpack...I just threw them in the case...they'll be a mess...I'll have nothing fit to wear' he added.

Jack looked at him in shock.

'This is really about the state of your clothes?' he asked slightly annoyed now that the fear was abating.

'Well...' Ianto was becoming a little uneasy, maybe he was making too much of a crisis out of a wardrobe problem.

He realised that Jack had thought he regretted moving in. He moved towards Jack who was standing naked and concerned in the middle of the room.

'I'm sorry' he whispered 'I didn't mean to startle you...the clothes don't matter' he said throwing them from his hands 'you do' he finished kissing him.

Jack smiled into the kiss.

'It's ok...I just thought..'

'I know' said Ianto 'but I'm ok' he kissed him again 'this is ok'

Jack smiled again.

'I have an iron Ianto...and a washing machine...tumble dryer..all mod cons in fact...I'm sure you'll be able to fix the problem'

'Yeah..I'll fix it' said Ianto.

'Anything I don't have we can buy...you could buy it when you shop for new curtains for the front room' added Jack cheekily.

'I am not choosing curtains with you Harkness...I thought I made that quite clear' said Ianto with false sternness trying not to laugh.

'Ok...we both need to find some clothes and think about getting back to the hub...I'll give Gwen a quick call' said Jack.

He joined Ianto in the kitchen ten minutes later.

'Gwen's asleep and Rhys is watching the rift' he said 'apparently he knows what he's doing...from what he told me Gwen gave him strict instructions...but everything is quiet..so we don't have to hurry' he finished somewhat bemused.

Ianto raised his eyebrows but otherwise said nothing. If Rhys had been left watching the rift he had obviously convinced Jack in the phone call that he knew what he was doing, Gwen was in the hub with him and they were only ten minutes away. He determined to enjoy his first morning in his new home.

He was dressed in jeans having decided to go casual today and had not yet ironed a shirt so Jack homed in on him for another hug and a surreptitious grope.

'What's my boy making for breakfast then?' he asked.

Ianto favoured him with a slightly disturbed look.

'Your boy?' he asked.

'Oh yes...I totally own you now Jones' said Jack with a wicked grin.

Ianto thought about this for a moment not really sure how to react. Suddenly he grinned.

'You are such an arse' he laughed.

They stood smiling at each other for a brief moment.

'Go and iron a shirt for both of us' insisted Ianto.

As Jack looked affronted he sidled over to him and whispered in his ear.

'And your boy will make you a bacon sandwich'

Jack grinned and started to walk away.

'Oh Jack' said Ianto.

Jack turned to look at him.

'I might be your boy...but last night I fucked you...and this morning you are ironing my shirt...that definitely makes you my wife'

Jack looked as if he would burst with indignation but suddenly decided to laugh instead.

'I'm never going to beat you am I Ianto?' he smiled.

'Where would be the fun in that?' asked Ianto with a raised eyebrow.

The two men smiled at each other and left for their appointed tasks.

TWTWTW

AN: Final chapter up soon.


	14. Chapter 14

This chapter contains reference to the Doctor Who episode that involved characters from The Sarah Jane Adventures and Torchwood.

TWTWTW

"I'm coming back"

TWTWTW

Ianto lay on his bed inwardly bemoaning the situation. When he had moved in with Jack he had not expected everything to be romance and flowers but he had not expected them to argue constantly either.

When he and Lisa had talked of moving in together just before the battle at Canary Wharf, they had spoken of how wonderful it would be to go to sleep in each other's arms and wake in the same position. Of how much closer they would become by sharing their lives. The reality of living with Jack did not come close to this ideal.

Ianto was lying in bed in his own room. Last night the argument had been bad enough that he had needed to get away from his lover and for the first time since moving in he had spent the night in his own room.

Jack had appeared at his door just before midnight and knocked. Ianto had frozen, Jack had promised never to enter without an invite but would he keep that promise?

'Ianto?...Ianto?' Jack hissed through the closed door.

Ianto did not answer, part of him wanted to see what Jack would do if he did not respond and part of him did not know what to say to the man.

'Ianto?...I'm sorry...I'm going to bed now...I really want you to be there with me...we can't sort this out if you sulk in here' said Jack dejectedly.

Ianto still refused to reply.

'I'll be downstairs in our bed...I want you with me' whispered Jack as Ianto heard him trudge away.

Ianto had wanted to join him but had also wanted to express his deep anger. Shouting was obnoxious to him and he was rarely driven to anything physical, the only way he knew how to express his dissatisfaction was to stay away.

So now he was waking to a lonely bed and the thought that the argument was still unresolved and would probably remain so all day. He sighed and got out of bed.

Jack was not to be seen, but in the lounge Ianto found a home wares catalogue opened at a page displaying curtains. He sat and looked, considering which ones would be best suited to replace the atrocities currently hanging in the window. He picked up the pen lying nearby and circled the ones he liked without thinking.

He quickly realised what had happened. Jack had left the catalogue and the pen for just this reason, the man was too obvious. Ianto circled all the remaining curtains and scrawled across the page 'NO CLUES HARKNESS', before smiling at the absurdity of two grown men acting in this way. They needed to talk to each other.

In the kitchen Ianto found a note saying Jack had been called in to a rift alert and would see him at work. Ianto now added guilt to his other feelings. Jack had gone to work and chosen not to wake him. He saw the clean dishes on the draining board and felt the guilt embed itself more deeply.

TWTWTW

'_Jack do you never clear up after yourself?...You are God knows how many years old and you act like a child whose adoring mother will clean everything for you' shouted Ianto as he watched Jack leave his dinner dishes on the table yet again._

_Jack looked up astonished. He was more than capable of clearing away after himself. Washing up and other domestic chores held no fear for him, but he preferred to do them when he chose which was rarely immediately the need arose._

_Ianto liked neat spaces and found it difficult to leave things to fester and had taken to doing more than his fair share of housework .Jack had certainly not complained about this but now realised it was a problem. He sighed. Ianto had obviously not realised Jack did things differently and had assumed he was leaving housework to him. They needed to communicate better if this was going to work._

'_Ianto...I like to clean up in my own time...leave the dishes...I will do it...I have done for years...but not right now...right now I am going to watch television' he reasoned._

'_Oh wonderful...you go and relax..I'll sort this out' Ianto knew he sounded like his mother on a bad day but he just couldn't leave it._

_Jack was getting annoyed now, it was beyond ridiculous that a man of his age should be harried about cleanliness._

'_The dishes will be done Ianto...if you want them done right now then you do them...otherwise they will be done when I am ready' he hissed and stormed out of the room._

_Ianto seethed. It wasn't really the dishes that bothered him it was the whole strangeness of living with someone, adapting to their ways of doing things. Ianto had not realised so much compromise would be needed for two adults to share the same living space._

_He took a deep breath and knew he needed to be alone for a while and gritting his teeth to leave the dishes he retired to his own room and played some soothing music. _

TWTWTW

They had a call out almost as soon as Ianto arrived at work. He and Jack had looked at each other but exchanged no greeting and Gwen had glanced from one to the other warily.

The call out was to a family home. The father of the family had contacted police on finding a luminous rock in his garage that morning. The rock was about three feet wide and maybe two feet high and glowing with a pale blue tinge. He had assumed a prank by local youngsters but the investigating police officers had seen fit to involve Torchwood.

It had needed the three of them to remove the object. Ianto's skills had been useful in calming the father who was getting progressively more wound up as the police would not investigate and had called other people to remove the object.

Ianto had talked to the father and then the mother and the children. Reassuring them, placating them and cheering the children with outrageous stories about rock creatures from the past, that they would enjoy distracting friends with later at school. He was so successful that the father left for work and the mother allowed the Torchwood team to work in her garage whilst Ianto made her a cup of tea and slice of toast.

By the time Jack and Gwen had finished readings, established that the object was inanimate and harmless and were ready to leave, Ianto had almost become a family friend. As always his ability to ooze charm and harmlessness had disarmed victims to the extent that they were willing to believe any story he put forward and feel they had met that most elusive of people, a useful and polite public servant.

They took the rock back to base for further tests, working together to remove it from the SUV and into the hub. As the three of them handled it the rock swarmed with various translucent colours.

'Have you seen these before Jack?' asked Gwen once the rock was placed on the floor.

'Yes' he said, shocking both his teammates into looking at him.

'Why didn't you say' demanded Gwen.

'Well...at first I wasn't sure...I've not seen one of these for many years...they were made by material found on the planet Boron in the 42nd century...they're mood rocks...created to display the emotions of the person or persons who own them' Jack continued.

'You mean like those mood rings that you find in hippy shops?' asked Gwen incredulously.

'Sort of' said Jack 'those rings are just a gimmick but these rocks were created to react to feelings, they feed on emotional energy and glow different colours depending on the emotion they are reflecting...they're not living...but they are animated by energy levels' he continued.

Both Ianto and Gwen looked at the rock dubiously. Gwen was the first to point out the obvious.

'It was blue at the house..what does that mean? Do you understand the colours Jack?' she asked.

'Yes...I understand...blue is the colour of ill health...I'm guessing the father as he was the only one to touch it' he said.

'What?!' exclaimed Gwen 'we have to go back and warn him'

Both the men looked at her.

'How would that go Gwen?' asked Jack 'oh by the way the rock is alien and from the future..it seems to think you are ill?' he suggested rolling his eyes.

Gwen looked down, obviously they could not tell the family anything.

'I'm sure he will see his doctor if and when he feels ill Gwen' comforted Ianto.

Jack touched the rock and its colour softened and then turned red. Gwen stepped back startled.

'Jack..it's gone red..does that mean danger? Should we be worried' she asked.

'No' said Jack softly 'red does not indicate danger..it shows fear or anxiety'

They both looked at him.

'I thought you said it wasn't dangerous? Why are you afraid of it?' asked Gwen.

'I'm not' he answered looking only at Ianto.

Ianto understood. The anxiety did not come from having the rock in the hub but from their argument the previous night. Jack was worried.

'Ianto will you take the rock to the vaults?'

'Of course' answered Ianto not really looking at Jack, not knowing how to respond properly whilst last night's argument still hung over them.

They circled around each other all day, not ignoring each other but not making the effort to be together either. At lunch time Gwen threw her hands up in the air.

'I'm going out to lunch and you two better have this resolved by the time I get back' she said.

The two men looked at her, surprised that she had noticed anything wrong, it wasn't as if they were sniping at each other.

'This is not what you do' she elaborated 'you don't discuss work in neutral tones or politely ask for help with work related issues'

They continued to look at her.

'You give each other little sexy looks when you think I'm not watching...you spend time doing God alone knows what in that office...you touch each other constantly...you practically talk in married couple code' she expanded in exasperation.

Gwen gave them one last despairing look and flounced out of the hub.

Jack looked down to hide a small smile at Gwen's outburst and Ianto watched her leave open mouthed.

'Ianto...coffee....my office' insisted Jack.

Ianto moved to fulfil his captain's orders and joined him in his office five minutes later.

'It's not as easy as you thought it would be is it Ianto?' asked Jack.

Ianto slumped in his chair.

'No Jack it isn't...I don't expect everything to be perfect but it's hard adjusting to someone else's way of doing things' he admitted.

'Ianto have you really not lived with anyone before?' asked Jack.

Ianto shrugged.

'Mum and dad...and Robin...at university...flat mates..you know?'

Jack smiled at Ianto's need to explain why he had been living with another man.

'I've lived with people before Ianto...not often...but enough to know it can be difficult at first...it just takes some getting used to...' he said 'it's worth the effort' he added with a smile.

Ianto sighed deeply.

'We need to be prepared to compromise Ianto...learn what can be tolerated and what won't be' Jack shrugged.

Ianto wriggled on his seat.

'I'll promise to clear up before I go to bed...if you promise not to be on edge until it's done' Jack offered.

Ianto smiled.

'I'm sorry Jack...I know I'm a bit of a neat freak...maybe...'

Jack raised his eyebrows in question as Ianto faltered.

'Jack...I feel as though I have lost my independence...as if I'm living in your house...I know it was a joke when you said you owned me but I feel a bit like that'

Jack opened his mouth to protest but Ianto held up a hand to halt him.

'I know it's ridiculous..you don't have to tell me that...but it's still how I feel'

'How can I make it feel better Ianto?' Jack asked him earnestly.

'Maybe I should pay rent' suggested Ianto 'I think it would make me feel better...as if I had a right to be in your home' he pleaded.

Jack sighed. He had known Ianto would find the change in circumstances difficult and he had already given the matter some thought.

'Ianto...I own the house...and I have more money than I know what to do with..you paying me rent would be ridiculous...I've lived a long time...and Torchwood pays well...I don't buy fast cars like Owen, or designer clothes like Gwen...I'm not even that keen on new technology like Tosh...so I have little to spend my money on' he said 'I certainly don't need any more' he finished.

'But it's not about you...it's about me...you don't need the money but maybe I need to pay it' insisted Ianto.

Jack took a deep breath.

'I've already thought about this Ianto and I want you to promise not to get mad at the solution I've come up with' said Jack looking up hopefully into his lover's eyes.

'Oh God Jack...what have you done?' asked Ianto not liking the direction in which the conversation was now travelling.

'Please don't get mad' begged Jack again 'I've done this' and he took paperwork out of his desk.

He began to elaborate.

'These are the deeds to my house...your name has been added as co-owner'

Ianto started to protest.

'Arrrh!' shouted Jack putting his fingers to Ianto's lips.

'Ownership reverts to whichever one of us outlives the other...' they both looked at each other silently acknowledging how that would go.

'But for now you have as much right to that property as I do...please Ianto...you need to feel it's your home not just mine' he begged.

'But it's not mine...you bought it' insisted Ianto.

'Stop being so very 21st century...have I not just told you money is largely irrelevant to me...and anyway you are going to be paying for it' said Jack.

Ianto drew himself up.

'I am not paying for it in sexual favours Harkness' he said sternly.

Jack laughed.

'Much as I love that idea that is not what I had in mind...these are saving accounts' he said pushing over more paperwork for Ianto to peruse.

'Apparently for my nephew and niece' said a slightly bemused Ianto.

'Yes' agreed Jack 'each month you can pay into the accounts what you would normally pay in rent...I don't need your money Ianto...I don't want it...put it to good use.. ensure those you love a start in life...it's not much of a compromise on the whole rent paying thing but it was the best I could come up with...and we can share utility bills and so on' he finished.

Ianto looked at the paperwork whilst he considered this.

'Jack these accounts already have money in them...oh my God how many noughts is that...' exclaimed Ianto.

Jack shrugged.

'They wouldn't let me open accounts without a deposit'

'And this is not you buying me?' asked Ianto still a bit upset at the thought.

'No Ianto...this is me telling you to make provision for your family...buy them an education...a deposit on a house...an expensive car that will devalue as soon as it leaves the forecourt...it doesn't matter...I don't need your money, but I understand your need to pay it...so pay it to someone who will appreciate it'

Ianto just looked at everything in front of him. He knew if the positions were reversed he would not want Jack to pay him rent and he could see that Jack had tried to think of a compromise. He had tried to understand Ianto's point of view and that was a precious thing. He had also tried to understand Ianto's need for space by giving him a separate room in his house...their house. Jack was doing all the giving here and Ianto was starting to realise Jack wasn't the child in this relationship, he was. He should put aside his male pride and just do what felt good.

He swallowed hard.

'Thank you' he said.

'Is it ok?...did I make a colossal balls up?...I really don't want your money Ianto...it would feel too much like we were house mates...I want to believe it's better than that' Jack said quietly.

Ianto nodded. Jack was right, paying rent would make it seem like a financial arrangement rather than an emotional one.

'It's ok...I never thought living with someone would be like this' he added sadly.

'Yeah..it's not all hearts and flowers... anyone can fall in love...but it actually takes a bit of effort to make a relationship work...to love each other despite the everyday irritations' said Jack.

Ianto smiled.

'I never knew you could be so philosophical...or that you knew about all this mundane stuff'

Jack smiled back at him.

'Please don't tell anyone...I have a reputation to keep up' he said.

They heard the alarm sound as Gwen returned.

'Perhaps we better go and get lunch' suggested Ianto.

'In a minute' said Jack as he came to kiss his lover and pull him into a hug.

'Thank God for that!' shouted Gwen.

TWTWTW

The rest of the day had passed without incident. Gwen and Jack had gone out in the afternoon to retrieve a Weevil. Ianto had wanted to go but Gwen had insisted she was back and had to be allowed her share of duties. Ianto had seen that she needed to be back in harness and had given in gracefully. That night they had set the rift predictor alarm to Jack's wrist strap and had all left for home.

'Are we ok Ianto?' asked Jack when they arrived home.

Ianto looked at his lover.

'Yeah...we're ok..I've been a prat and life is too short for that' he said.

He pulled Jack into the house.

'Come on...television...bath..food...let's rejoice in the mundane...God knows we get little enough of it' he laughed.

Jack wandered through to the lounge and picked up the home wares catalogue he had left on the coffee table. He chuckled when he saw what Ianto had written.

'If you don't give me some clues I might make a very poor choice' he smiled.

Ianto contemplated this with some alarm, surely Jack couldn't find worse curtains than those currently hanging in the window.

'You should choose Ianto...it's your house too' said Jack softly.

Ianto looked at the yearning on Jack's face.

'Maybe' he agreed quietly taking the catalogue from Jack's hands and leading him from the room.

Half an hour later they were laying in the bath together relaxing in the hot water and leaning languidly into each other.

Unusually for Jack he began to share memories and thoughts and Ianto listened quietly, loving that Jack felt able to share with him.

He spoke quietly and at length. He held his lover in his arms in the warm water and spoke of how he had loved and lost in the past. Of how he had realised he could not die and had decided not to love either, to save himself from the pain of loss.

He told Ianto how this had not worked, how he had been ridiculous to suppose it would. It was impossible not to love people. It was an empty existence just taking people to bed and never having a pair of arms that just gave comfort, not expecting any return.

Ianto had stepped out of the bath and began to dry himself, handing a clean towel to Jack as he too removed himself from the water. He had not interrupted Jack's speech and the other man continued slowly revealing more of himself. Ianto was listening with all his heart and Jack began to hope that he was at last reaching the young man.

'I loved the woman I married nearly a hundred years ago' said Jack.

Ianto looked at him in surprise, he had known Jack had been married, but he had not expected the other man to talk to him about it.

'I did not tell her often enough. I left her when it started to become obvious that whilst she was ageing I apparently wasn't' he continued.

'Ever since then what I have regretted most is that I didn't tell her often enough that I loved her. I didn't tell her the things about her that made me happy...I didn't tell her Ianto' he half sobbed.

Ianto was dressed now and came to stand in front of his captain and felt the other man's pain.

'I promised myself that if I fell in love again...that person would know how I felt...that I would never again regret in later years that I hadn't told them often enough'

Jack looked up at Ianto through the tears in his eyes. Ianto stood beside him and put his arms around the older man.

'I'm so sorry Jack' he whispered.

He dragged the other man into his arms for a hug.

'Come on...let's get something to eat' he said.

They both struggled to contain their emotions as they ventured down to the kitchen. Ianto banged around trying to find something to cook. The week had been busy and neither of them had been able to go grocery shopping.

'Looks like it will have to be pasta...I don't think we've got anything else' he said.

Jack smiled trying to lighten the atmosphere. He felt he had broken through to his partner and now was the time to lift the mood.

'Will you make that sauce you made....the first time you came here' he asked.

'No' said Ianto sadly.

'But it was lovely...so tasty...I really liked it' Jack pouted.

Ianto smiled at him.

'Can't! Don't have the necessary ingredients' he said.

'That tomato sauce then...that's almost as good' said Jack.

'Still not got the ingredients' said Ianto huffing.

'Oh..' said Jack disappointed 'well what will you make it with then' he asked a little exasperated.

Ianto looked him full in the face.

'I will make it with love' he announced.

Jack was momentarily stunned.

'Do you mean it?' he asked breathlessly.

'Yes Jack. I'm sorry...it was stupid to pretend and keep it inside...I love you...when I'm gone remember that you made me happy... remember that I knew you loved me...remember that I loved you too' Ianto was becoming voluble now that the words were finally out.

Ianto pulled away from Jack's embrace feeling suddenly awkward to be sharing these feelings. He looked down shyly.

'I need you to promise me something Jack' he said.

'Ok' said Jack warily, surely Ianto was not going to take back his admission.

'Promise we will never speak of how girly that speech was' he smiled.

Jack gave him an evil grin.

'I may need to reserve the right to discuss it in depth with Gwen...unless you daily persuade me otherwise' he answered.

The two men grinned at each other for a short while. Pasta was made with a very basic sauce with a few mushrooms thrown in but neither of them had tasted anything so good in a long time.

The world did not end because Ianto had finally admitted his feelings. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad, maybe it would be safe to let go, to love again. Ianto started to relax both physically and mentally. Allowing himself to be lulled into a sense of safety and security as he cuddled up to Jack on the large sofa.

TWTWTW

Ianto woke to find himself in his own room. He had come upstairs to look for a book and had found a photograph album and become engrossed in looking at the past in picture form. He had obviously fallen asleep and Jack had not come to awaken him. He must think I wanted to be alone again thought Ianto sadly. He looked at his watch, almost midnight, this was not good. After all they had said to each other tonight Ianto should have made sure he was with Jack.

He rose quickly and ran down to their bedroom skidding to a halt outside the door and seeing Jack apparently asleep in their bed. Should he undress and risk waking Jack by climbing in beside him? The difficulty became obsolete when Jack raised the covers.

'Get in before you get cold' he mumbled.

Ianto did as he was told and climbed under the duvet. Immediately Jack sat up on his elbows in surprise.

'You're dressed. Are you going somewhere?' he asked.

'No' answered Ianto 'I didn't mean to stay away...I fell asleep..I'm sorry'

Jack grinned at him.

'Good...I thought you'd had another little freak out at finally saying those words to me'

Ianto smiled back.

'No more worrying' he promised 'I love you Jack'

Jack snuggled up to whisper in his ear.

'Then I really think you should get undressed and show me just how much'

Ianto laughed, but got back out of bed to whip his clothes off rushing back under the covers. The two men pushed themselves together and began to kiss, slowly at first and then with more passion.

'I want to possess every part of you' whispered Jack kissing over Ianto's neck and shoulders and down across his chest.

'I don't think there's any part of me you haven't already laid claim to' smiled Ianto enjoying the captain's travels.

Jack ignored him and continued to lick and nip at all of Ianto's exposed flesh, stroking the parts his tongue and mouth could not get to. Ianto tried to hold Jack's arms and maybe pull him up into an embrace but Jack merely pushed his arms down onto the bed and continued languidly licking and kissing down Ianto's body.

As he reached his cock and gave it a swipe along its whole length, Ianto hissed in pleasure and went rigid in anticipation but Jack just continued down his thighs, nipping all around his groin.

'Jack' he breathed.

'Turn over Ianto' demanded Jack.

Ianto obeyed his captain's commands as always and Jack began his slow soft strokes down his lover's back. Ianto brought his hands up under his head as he realised where Jack was going with this and his breathing hitched in anticipation.

Jack licked each rounded buttock in turn, kneading and stroking at the same time. When he had teased enough he opened the cleft and licked softly up the crease listening to Ianto's sharp intake of breath. This still wasn't something they did often but tonight it was definitely called for. He pushed his tongue further into the gap and wriggled it around Ianto's opening, thrusting inside slightly and causing the younger man to gasp and push his arse back a little to meet Jack's questing tongue.

Jack took the opportunity to urge Ianto to bring his knees under himself and open up even more for Jack's viewing and licking pleasure. Jack looked and felt his own cock harden at the sight, Ianto's most secret spaces opened for him to enjoy, the thought of what he was seeing and doing make Jack hard and leaking.

He dragged his tongue down to Ianto's perineum and pushed and licked knowing it would stimulate his prostate slightly and provide anticipation of pleasures yet to come. Ianto moaned and continued to push his arse backwards quite without reservation now.

Jack took the opportunity again to urge his knees higher and wider underneath him. Ianto was not always comfortable in this position and Jack intended to take full advantage whilst he could. He had full access now and licked and then sucked on the other man's balls, biting lightly on the loose skin then licking all the way over his perineum and up to his hole, delving his tongue back inside.

'Fuck...fuck...Jack...oh God'

Ianto was losing control and Jack loved that he could do this to him. But Jack's own leaking cock really needed some attention. He wrapped his hand around Ianto's cock and softly and slowly stroked the whole length whilst continuing to lick around his entrance and wriggle his tongue inside.

'Jack...fuck...I can't take it..' Ianto was gasping.

'I want to fuck you Ianto' Jack hissed then plunged his tongue back into the other man's hole.

Ianto wriggled beneath him uncertain whether it was Jack's words or his actions that were making him so desperate for release. He squirmed himself down onto Jack's tongue again, almost completely shameless in his pursuit of release.

'Hold still' ordered Jack harshly and Ianto breathed sharply in pleasure at hearing the tone.

Jack pushed Ianto's shoulders further down onto the bed, raising his arse as he did so, exposing and opening the younger man in a way he had rarely been allowed.

'You want me to fuck you don't you?' Jack asked harshly.

Ianto did not answer only breathed more heavily and gasped, wriggling backwards to try to encourage that talented tongue back to work.

'Answer me' ordered Jack.

Ianto breathed harshly but still could not frame an answer. He really enjoyed it when Jack was demanding and aggressive but sometimes felt overwhelmed when it came to answering him.

'Do you want me to fuck you?' Jack demanded dancing his tongue over Ianto's balls again, teasing at the skin with his teeth.

Ianto nodded his head that was all but buried in the mattress.

'Say it' Jack ordered harshly.

'Fuck me' pleaded Ianto eventually managing to gasp out the words.

Jack's tongue licked from Ianto's balls over his entrance and all the way up his back until he reached Ianto's ears. He leaned forwards and asked softly.

'Like this Ianto? Do you want to move?'

Jack needed to be sure Ianto was happy with a position he had previously resisted. When they had sex from behind it was usually with them both lying down, or with them both standing. Jack understood Ianto felt exposed and vulnerable like this, it was part of the thrill for Jack. He also knew the angle of penetration would be enjoyable for his partner if he could only relax enough to take it.

He waited a moment for Ianto to answer.

'Like this Jack...fuck me like this'

'Oh God' breathed Jack, the anticipation making him desperate.

He stroked his hands down Ianto's sides and gently pulled his buttocks up and apart even more and positioned himself, forcing himself into the other man's body in one swift movement.

'Jaaacck' screamed Ianto.

Jack froze. Ianto pushed back against him, fists clenching in the bed sheets.

'Ianto?' questioned Jack, he really needed to move.

'It's ok...fuck that's good...do it Jack' Ianto was grinding himself backwards against the other man trying to encourage movement.

Jack began to pump hard, he would barely last.

'Fucking hell...fuck...God..' Ianto eventually lost the ability to make coherent sound, pushing and grinding whilst Jack gripped his hips forcefully and pounded his prostate.

Ianto was gasping unable to even think beyond the sensations Jack was creating. He could feel the familiar tightness in his belly that signalled orgasm and his cock was not even being touched. A final thrust across his prostate decided the outcome.

'Arrrhhh!!' screamed Ianto and shot his load over the bed.

Jack followed seconds later with a final deep thrust and both men collapsed onto the bed panting and gasping.

As their breathing returned to normal Ianto made no move to turn in Jack's arms and remained facing away.

'Why didn't you tell me that position was so good?...fucking hell Jack that was unreal...I feel a little bit sick'

Jack laughed.

'It's only good if you're happy doing it Ianto...and I hope you feeling sick is an indication of pleasure...albeit an unusual one'

Ianto chuckled with him.

'We are doing it like that again...just as soon as I've recovered' he stated already sounding sleepy and Jack just pulled him into his arms further and cuddled up.

'Ok' he agreed.

TWTWTW

Now Jack had left him again.

'I'm coming back'

Those had been his words and Ianto stood watching the empty space where his lover had been and thought about what he had said. Gwen was monitoring signals on a computer screen and Ianto knew he should help, but he just stood looking at the area from which Jack had disappeared.

Suddenly it hit him. Jack _would_ be back. Ianto had searched his whole mind and soul and found he believed with all his being that his lover would return to him. He had been jealous of the Doctor for so long but now every atom in his body told him Jack would come home. The relief that came with that faith was immense. His breath left his body in short ragged bursts.

'Ianto?' questioned Gwen when she saw him rooted to the spot and breathing heavily.

'It'll be ok...I don't know what he can do out there...but we need to be ready to help' she indicated another monitor.

Ianto looked at her. He knew he should help, be ready to do whatever they could, but he needed to do something else first.

'I'll just be a minute Gwen' he announced running to Jack's office.

He took a pen and paper and wrote a short note for Jack. He truly believed Jack would come back, but he was less sure that he and Gwen would still be alive to see him. He wanted to ensure Jack knew he had believed.

_Jack_

_I know you will come back – I believe._

_Remember I love you and you made me happy._

_Ianto_

He returned to Gwen and together they began to scan for messages and signals.

TWTWTW

Yet again, even from beyond the grave, the beautiful Toshiko Sato had saved her colleagues from certain death. She was brilliant thought Ianto as he smiled to himself in the aftermath of the world almost ending. He and Gwen were waiting. Waiting for Jack to return. Waiting to recover enough energy to start the grind of rift monitoring once more.

'Do you think we should try to do some work?' asked Gwen.

'No' answered Ianto 'I think you should go home...go and see Rhys'

Gwen looked down somewhat ashamed.

'What?' demanded Ianto.

'I kind of told him to come here' she said as she activated the invisible lift having seen Rhys arrive on the CCTV.

'Oh' sighed Ianto.

'Are you mad?' asked Gwen getting up to go and greet her husband.

'No...don't be daft...of course you want him with you' smiled Ianto looking away as Rhys stepped off the lift and pulled his wife into his arms and kissed her possessively.

'Righto crime fighters...what do you want me to do...anything...I'll do anything to save my lovely wife here from all the nasties of the universe' quipped an annoyingly cheerful Rhys.

Ianto grinned at him. Actually Rhys was just what they needed right now. He was a breath of fresh air, a reminder of why exactly they risked their lives on an almost daily basis. He was the average human being looking out for his loved ones. People like Rhys made the job worthwhile.

Ianto strode across to the coffee machine and proceeded to brew drinks for the three of them. They could all do with something stronger but he and Gwen might fall asleep if they added alcohol to the exhaustion and relief they were already experiencing.

He listened to Gwen skirting around the story of what had actually happened as she explained it to Rhys. She left out the more horrific and terrifying parts and he smiled at her need to protect the big Welshman she had married.

They sat companionably together drinking and reflecting.

'So...what do you do now?' asked Rhys.

'We wait for Jack to get back' decided Gwen 'he won't be that long and once we regroup we can decide what comes next' she continued.

'Can't we wait at home?' asked Rhys reasonably.

'No...I want to be here when he returns...at least then I can smack him for running out on us again...sorry Ianto...I know he went to save the world...and I'll get in line and let you kick him first' she smiled.

Ianto smiled back at her.

'I won't be doing any kicking Gwen' he laughed 'he went to help...and now he's coming home' and he smiled secretly to himself.

Gwen looked at him. She had expected Ianto to be more upset that Jack had left, no matter the reason. He obviously had more faith in the captain than she had. Well that's as it should be she thought as she snuggled into the arms of her own partner.

'Actually Gwen..if you don't mind I think I'll leave' said Ianto suddenly.

'No that's ok...it doesn't need us all here twiddling our thumbs...shall I tell Jack you're waiting for him at home?' she asked.

'No' said Ianto.

He thought about his next comment for a moment. Considered how Gwen and Rhys would not understand it and how much it would mean to his captain when he heard it. He smiled.

'No...tell him I've gone shopping...for curtains'

END


End file.
